100 lb. Club - I have a crush on a skinny boy ((OT))

I think I have a crush on a skinny boy… oy! Let me just start out by saying that I am 25 and haven’t had a serious boyfriend since I was 17… Sure I have gone on a couple dates since then but nothing developed. I’ve spent the last 7 years convincing myself that I didn’t want to date… that I had too many issues to deal with to add another person into the mix. Now part of me still believes that, and part of me thinks it is an excuse not to put myself out there.

So… back to the skinny boy. He is cute, tall, thin, and geeky. ;) He is my best friend’s new husband’s best friend… The wedding was on Oct 10th. I was the MOH and he was the BM in the wedding. We met on the rehearsal night... The next day at the wedding I was walking by and he asked me to dance to one of the slow songs. (Though, I think the best man is supposed to ask you to dance at least once so I am not thinking that means anything.)… Something happened with a family member at the wedding that night that I won’t even go into but I had to leave the reception near the end without really saying goodbye to people.

Since then we have emailed a couple times about generic stuff (but most of the bridal party have been emailing since the wedding)… and all of us got together again this past weekend to go to a Halloween Haunted Maze and out to dinner. I thought he might be flirting a couple times but couldn’t tell. At one point I accidentally (Accidentally!) touched his bum while standing in line. I apologized profusely and he just smiled and said he wasn’t offended… Later he asked if he could ride with my friends and I in my car to the restaurant (even though he rode to the Halloween thing in a car with the bride, his best friend- the groom, and another friend.) He asked if my car had ‘more leg room.’ He is tall though so that could also mean nothing. So yea…

The thing is… he is really shy. I can’t tell if he is being polite or trying to flirt. Heck, I don’t even know if I am flirting. LOL… it has been so long I am not even sure if I know how to do it. I am just trying to work on myself right now and I didn’t expect to maybe get feelings for a guy… The insecure part of me thinks he won’t like a fat chick.. and the improving part of me thinks there may be a chance.. but can I really take the blow to my self esteem right now if it turns out to be the prior… Hmm… Thanks for reading my long rant; any advice is appreciated.

Not sure I am in a position to give ANY dating advice now, but I will say just relax and go with the flow! Good Luck

Hi Kae! I'm someone that is prone to being attracted to the tall skinny guys so I completely understand! And it looks like, by your ticker that we're in the same boat weight-wise!

In your paragraph you said "The insecure part of me thinks he won’t like a fat chick." Dont let your insecurities keep you from living! He just may be interested and wondering if you'd be interested in him! It's crazy how we dont give ourselves a chance because we're too afraid to put ourselves out there.

It sounds like he's a great guy who is fun to hang out with! Maybe get a smaller group together and invite him. Smaller groups are a bit more intimate and will give you two time for a connection.

Good luck and remember, you are WORTH it!! Put yourself out there, you just may be surprised by the outcome! And if it doesnt work out, then that just means that someone even better is intended for you!

Good luck!!


Katherynn
:)

I always found myself attracted to the tall, thin and geeky guys. I even married one.

You may perhaps ask him out individually. Both my husband and I are shy people and it took him to ask me out.

I prefer chunky guys, so I personally dont get the tall skinny thing ;) ... but I've always hung out with more guys than girls and I've heard a lot of talk. I've found that you really can't tell what kind of girl a guy is into by looking at him. Every guy has different tastes. And even though guys will talk about being attracted to thin, barbie-type girls when they're with their buds, you can't take that at face value. They usually try to impress their friends.
Just go with the flow. No sense in rushing things. Just assume he thinks your smokin' and flirt! Good luck!!!

Go for it. It might or might not work, but that isn't about your weight. Unless you make it about your weight. If you worry about that, it will become an issue. So let that go! Give him a chance ;)

Thanks for the advice ladies.. I'm going to do my best to follow it.. just chill and have fun and see what happens.

Kae- I think you will get him . You are a very pretty girl!

How exciting! A new love interest!:carrot::carrot::carrot:

First of all, don't get insecure. I know easier said than done, but try not to feel bad or that you are not good enough. When you start hearing that lousy undermining voice, just say "Who says so?"

Kitkakitty has some good advice about going out as a group. That will help you better gauge how he is feeling towards you and if you like him.

Keep the e-mailing up. If you are up to it, after you have gotten to know him a bit more, ask him out. Go for it. He might be too shy to ask you out. If I would not have asked my man partner out, he never would have asked me out. I liked him to much that I just put my insecurities aside and asked him.

I love tall, nerdy, geeky, skinny or fat men.

definitely go with the flow, just spend more time together, keep emailing, all that jazz. it sounds like he might be interested from what you are saying. if it were me i would definitely be thinking he was interested. don't let weight get in the way! most guys prefer women who have some curves! keep us updated!

He sounds really nice, and maybe a bit shy. And you're cute as can be, so keep on flirting!!!

I'd say from the post it sounds like he is interested! Keep communicating & see what happens! :)

Thanks ladies.. yr very sweet. And you've really helped to get my head back in the right place.. relax.. have fun... and screw the insecurities! I rock! ;)

Awww thats EXCITING :)
I remember that "new crush" feeling, it's been a while!.
I'm also one of "those" girls who prefer skinnier guys, over chunky guys.
Not boney skinny, but I'm just not into "meaty men". As if I should talk right? ha ha. Nah, we all have our preferences. :)
Ask him out for coffee or something!
I think the fact that he asked to ride with you in the car is a GOOD thing!

Oh! How cute!!!! I remember those feelings. I met my hubby online and was SO worried he wouldn't like me cause I was fat... I needn't have worried obviously ;)

He sounds totally into you. I'm crossing fingers!

Well, everything you've said is a good sign, so I'd be optimistic. I wouldn't put too much stock in his weight as a determining factor of whether or not he will be into you. My current boyfriend is super skinny and tall (and geeky!) and he's obviously attracted to me. His ex was much heavier than I am, even, so you never know what someone's going to go for.

I've actually been to a few BBW(Big Beautiful Women) parties in Toronto - and atleast half of the men there, were skinny, tall, and geeky. Personally in my own opinion, I think these are the type of men who are most attracted to bigger girls. In my own experiences anyways...

I'm also in a new "relationship" thing...I wouldn't call him my boyfriend yet...and he sorta confuses me. But he is also tall and very thin. He's really into fitness...he works out daily. I'm chubby. In one hand I really like that he's into fitness and I can talk to him about nutrition and working out---all the things my friends get sick of listening to... but in the other hand...I keep wondering if he's thinking that if only I was skinny...I'd be someone he'd want to date.

It's such a dumb thing to think...we've been on 5 dates, but that's all I can think really. He still hasn't kissed me!...which makes me wonder.

We're hanging out tomorrow again too... so **crosses fingers**

You ladies rock! Thanks for the kind words.

Kae, if there is one thing I wish I could do over in life, it would be to go back and enjoy the flirting. Flirting is fun! Don't overthink this...just go with it.

Thanks Rhonda! I always appreciate your replies!

In my experience, you fall for a *person*, not a *type*. Give it a chance -- at least open the door with friendship.

i say ask the guy to a movie!!! see what he says!

I met my kids father when I was newly divorced at 23 & he was a single 25yr old. He always weighed between 125 & 135 all our marriage. We knew each other 5 weeks when we married. We were on our 15 yr when he passed away.
It was an awesome relationship. It wasn't always easy, we lost a newbone & he was a brittle diabetic. But, it was true love. I stuggled with feeling like he was Jack Sprat & I was his fat wife; but, he never made me feel that way.
I got over that. We had 2 great kids. I am waiting for my 7th grandchild.

Good things can come in small or large packages.

Weight has nothing to do with it...its your confidence in yourself and your ability to love yourself, because as Louise Hay puts it "If you cant love yourself, how can you expect others to?". I have always had a weight problem (I was 309 on my wedding day) and it was never an issue with anyone I dated. I prefer tall, fit men and thats what I usually date (younger too). My current BF that I have been with for the past year and a half has a 32 in waist and runs 6 miles a day...

My point being, follow your intuition and GO FOR IT! Let us know how it goes.

Everyone has the right advice! My husband is skinny too.

You MUST keep us updated on what happens next!

Good luck!

Thank you everyone for the sweet replies! You are all right... You don't love a size you love a person. I just have to go in with confidence and see what happens. If it doesn't work out then I guess it wasn't meant to be... I'll let you know if anything develops! Thanks!!!

Oh! How cute!!!! I remember those feelings. I met my hubby online and was SO worried he wouldn't like me cause I was fat... I needn't have worried obviously ;)

He sounds totally into you. I'm crossing fingers!

:D:D:D:D:D Isn't great to have a crush?!!! Kae, I am sending you lots of vibes so that boy will hook up with you. You look like you are a blast. Love your avatar!


I had a huge crush on my pharmacist! So for several months, I just checked him out and one day, I said to **** with it, I am asking him out. He said yes, and I was so damned giddy! I, too, was so worried that my BF, male partner or whatever you call 'em when you are fifty, would be a jackass about my weight. He doesn't care as long as I am healthy.

Hey there Kae

This is my first post here - I came accross this thread during some random internet surfing. Upon reading it, I fealt I had to register so I could reply and give another male perspective.

Short story - he's interested in you.

I feel I can say that with authority, since I am a formerly shy guy myself (who ended up marrying his own fat chick). There's a lot of circumstantial evidence of course - the leg room thing was particularly suggestive (car seats are adjustable you know ;) ). But the big thing was the slow dance.

Guys don't ask women they are not related to for slow dances UNLESS they are physically attracted to them in some way. I am sure there are exceptions of course, but basically that's the way it works. Also guys don't give a care about wedding traditions like the BM having to dance with the MoH once. If he even knew about it - which is questionable - he asked you to a slow dance as an excuse because he wanted to get close to you. That's what we do lol. If he wasn't attracted to you, he either wouldn't have bothered dancing, or he would have pulled you out during something fast and fun like "White Wedding" (or any of the other common reception songs lol).

So yeah rest assured. He's into you.

Aww thats so cute Kae! God I can't remember the last time I had a crush.

Just go with the flow, it sounds like hes interested. And like some of the other girls said, you can never tell a guys type. I've always been attracted to guys I thought were outta my league because I was bigger than the "ideal" woman. But you know what? all my boyfriends were good looking guys I NEVER thought would be into me! So please erase all those negative thoughts from your head. I've heard 1000 times from guys a pretty face is much more important than a pretty body. And a pretty face you have!

Kae... what's happened?! lol I'm curious!

Yeah... me too!

Echoing what happen?

:) Thanks for all the responses... sadly, nothing has really developed with all that. I emailed him to say hi a few days ago on facebook but I think he only checks that thing a couple times a month so I haven't heard anything back. No worries though... ;) I'm just working on focusing on me and my health... and overall happiness. And I am sure I will see him the next time I hang out with my friend and her husband, so we'll see... Thanks again all!

:) Thanks for all the responses... sadly, nothing has really developed with all that. I emailed him to say hi a few days ago on facebook but I think he only checks that thing a couple times a month so I haven't heard anything back. No worries though... ;) I'm just working on focusing on me and my health... and overall happiness. And I am sure I will see him the next time I hang out with my friend and her husband, so we'll see... Thanks again all!


It's all about you, girl. If it's ment to be IT WILL. :)

I just read the opening post! But I am so excited for you! If nothing else, let this help you to feel better about yourself and feel more attractive.

My dh met me when I was about 250, I wound up gaining about 30 more going thru a divorce and 2 parents dying and he asked me to marry him. By the time we married I was 250.

Not all skinny guys have a problem if a girl is a bit heavy.

My hubby fell in love with me, my personality, and thinks I am beautiful too.

I've had crushes on both. But I seriously loved one skinny guy for many years. He's my best friend today.

I second what everyone else has said, especially kitkatkitty and others who have skinny SOs. My husband is skinny, too. Something that might make you feel better - my husband is actually very self-conscious about his size. While I'm stressing about losing weight, he's wishing he could gain some. I guess my point is that we're all insecure about something, and as nice as this guy sounds, I definitely don't think he's one of those who hates big girls. (You know the kind I mean - the ones that won't even look at you for fear your fat is contagious!) You've already gotten more advice than you know what to do with; I just wanted to throw my support in the ring along with the rest! Good luck!

awwww, i dunno why but i got a girlie and giddy at your post. I guess I remember the whole flirting and insecurities of "does he like me..." and second guessing myself...anyway..STOP IT. There is nothing sexier to either sex then confidence, turn up the flirting and go with the flow. WOOO, you can do it!

Ah, I rarely check my email too lol

my man is slim also. I love it! He looks so neat in his clothes. Size 32/34 or 33/34. Extra large in shirts , he needs the length because his arms are so long, he is 6 feet tall. He can wear those those plants (pleated in the front.) I think a skinny man is sexy. BUT not ever one feels the same way. Thank Goodness! My man loves me because he likes that I am stocky! (thats what he calls it) I call it fat! He would love to be bigger also. I tell him no way! he could not work like he does if he had alot of weight on him. He can climb like a monkey. He works off scaffing alot, very high up in the air. He has great balance. Not me! He can also eat what he wants but the funny thing is he naturally has a taste for healthy food. Salads, grilled salmon, grilled chicken. Alot of heavy food(alot of calories) slows him down.

Im so excited for you! I love my fiance, dont get me wrong, but sometimes I remeniss (sp?) about "puppy love" and crushes and all that new relationship stuff. I wouldn't give my DF up for the world but don't mind me if I live vicariously through you :lol:

You are very pretty and from what it sounds like..he was definitly flirting! :woohoo: I like Kittys suggestions about a smaller group...have you told your best friend? Maybe she could arrange a dinner or something without having to wait for him to check his email?

In the meantime, you have the right attitude...keep focusing on you, you are doing great!