My hubby and I are both under HUGE amounts of stress. It's his last semester of school, so he has a ton of things to get in order. It's my first semester back in school, so I'm still trying to get my schedule back in order. My oldest daughter is in first grade, my middle daughter is learning to read and add/subtract, and my youngest is learning her alphabet. And, to add to it all, I just found out I'm pregnant, so I can't turn to the chain smoking. AHHHHHHH
We've been bickering and picking at each other for days. Last night, it just totally blew up (things came to head, y'all know the drill) over the dumbest little stuff.
I'm so UPSET about it. I don't want to eat, and if I do eat, I just want to down a few gallons of ice cream.
Wow, that's a bunch of stuff all at once hun.
My advice comes from the stand point of never married, only in long term relationships that were sour. I have 6 yr old twins so I understand the stress associated with children. I was on a pretty successful diet back when I was going through the ultimate demise of our 6 yr relationship. It was tough, I won't lie. But I found myself exercising harder, taking out my frustrations on my workouts. I certainly put that relationship turmoil into every single punch kick and jab in my Turbo Jam workouts and other assorted kick boxing sets. LOL.
I'm sure it's hard to do that when you find yourself pregnant. Were you trying? If not, I am assuming that you two were not avoiding either lol. I know women stay active during pregnancy, but I have no advice on that either since I was on bedrest from 12 weeks on with my twins.
Good luck though. Remember, food will not ultimately solve your problems. It will only make you so full and uncomfortable that you can't think about your problems lol
You're pregnant, quitting smoking, and trying to diet all at once?
I'd move out for a couple of weeks.
Seriously, though, it would be all too easy to toss the plan out the window. I'd say stay with it, since at least you'll have some stability there. Eat when you're supposed to eat, and eat what you're supposed to eat.
Meanwhile, you and your husband should try to stay out of each other's hair....
If you are a prayer, pray. If you are a walker, walk. I find doing both at the same times helps. I'm not going to lie to you and say it's all going to be fine, because 4 children under the age of 6 or 7 is going to be HARD. School, work, husband, the economy...YIKES. Just remember, your kids come first...So YOU have got to keep it together for them. You need to be the healthiest you can be for the next 9 months (give or take) for your unborn baby. Fighting with your DH will only ADD to your problems...Agree to disagree and love each other, (like you did when you made that new baby!).
No real advice here, just hang in there and stay the course the best you can. I saw your other post about being preggers... All I have for you here is a great big and another one just for good measure. Keep coming here to vent and get support, and I hope it all works out for ya! You're doing great!
I try, when everything is going crazy, to remind myself (again and again - as much as necessary really) that life will get better, and that I am lucky to have someone to go through the rough spots with me, even if we bicker through them. It really helps me to maintain perspective - things may be stressful, but at least I have someone by my side during the worst bits.
Going into discussions with that sort of mindset almost always diffuses fights for me. Even if I'm irritated, I'll be less likely to pick, nag, or generally blow up if I keep that perspective. And if I share that perspective with my partner (Usually with something like "Gosh, things are REALLY rough right now. We're taking it out on eachother. But if things have to be this crummy, I'm really glad I have you to go through it with"), it diffuses her as well.
It sounds like you have a lot on your plate. Can you maybe give up school for a while and just focus on being a stay at home mom? It seems like the only thing that has room to go. You can't get rid of the hubby, the kids or smoke.
Thinner,
I can't really get rid of the school. At least not in the short term. I only have another 2-ish months to finish my courses.
Mandalinn,
I'll try that next time things get hairy. One of the big problems with hubby is that he's mildly bipolar. When he gets going, there's not much talking him down (as opposed to me, who's pregnant, nic fitting and overly emotional). We make such a good pair...
Oh hon, I'm with you. I'm oversensitive and VERY good at making verbal arguments (and NOT pregnant), and my partner tends to get a little verbally...aggressive when she feels she can't argue on the same level (not abusive. But she tends to get to that insult/bring up old fights/dramatic mode). We're a terrible pair that way too. We spent the first 3 years of our relationship fighting about how we fight. Now, though, one of our keys to ending the drama and anger is to step back and say "You know, things SUCK, but at least we're in it together". It takes all the stress, and instead of pointing it back and forth at eachother in an argument, it unites you as one force pushing against it.