20-Somethings - Is it ever hard for you to imagine yourself skinny?
Here we go again
10-01-2008, 11:59 AM
The reason why I ask, is because sometimes I feel great about how I'm looking and excited about losing weight.
Other times I feel that being big has been my identity ALL my life. I've always been big, I'm 5'11 so even if I was skinny I'd still be big, but it seems like that's always been who I am.
Back in my crazier days, it was oh don't mess with her she'll mess you up... lol I've changed a lot now a days.
But it's hard for me to imagine myself as skinny.... It's almost like I'm doing all of the right things now but deep down it's like I don't feel it could really happen or maybe I don't want to think about how I'll look because I won't like it.
Does anyone else ever feel that way or am I just crazy?
10-01-2008, 12:06 PM
You're not crazy at ALL! I felt the same way as I was losing weight, and now that I've reached and surpassed my goal, I still can't really absorb that I'm not the "big girl" anymore.
10-01-2008, 12:11 PM
no it's not crazy, if it is the i guess i'm crazy too. :) while i truely am happy about my weightloss, sometimes after if get a compliment, i feel all panicky, and start thinking oh god how can i hide in the shadows now? it almost always ends with a trip to the fridge. but i just keep on thinking, i'm doing this for my health, and i will get used to the new, smaller version of me in time :)
10-01-2008, 12:14 PM
Please, that is sooooooo not crazy. I've been big all my life...more on the round side. I honestly couldn't imagine being 'skinny' which is probably why I'm aiming more for 'thick'...aka 'curvy'. I haven't been in the 100s since I was like 10 years old, so I really can't remember what it's like.
10-01-2008, 12:15 PM
I completely understand!
Its nice to know that its obviously a normal feeling. I just cant picture myself being skinny. Part of me almost believes its not physically possible for me. I know thats stupid, and realistically I can be any weight I want to be....I guess its just easier to convince myself of that in order to rationalize the weight I am now.
10-01-2008, 12:17 PM
I could not ever imagine myself at a normal weight. I had been big for my entire life and wouldn't even know how to imagine it.
I think that's why I would just sit there and poke my pelvic bone that stuck out :lol: I just couldn't believe it. But I think that makes the "shiny new car smell" stage all that more fun :)
10-01-2008, 12:39 PM
I know how you feel...I lost a significant amount of weight a few years ago fairly quickly, and I was amazed at peoples reactions, people treated me differently, better than they used to, I attracted way more attention from men, meanwhile, you think all that extra attention would be great, but it wasn't, inside I still felt like the fat girl, and I was so disgusted with people's attitudes of "oh shes skinny now and therefore a better person" It was really strange to me, inside I was still the same person I was before I lost the weight, and it hurt me, the fat girl inside, that people would treat me so much better than before.
No, you're just crazy... (jk! lol ;))
I'm average height, but I've always been heavy, since as early as I could remember. When you live a certain reality for basically your whole life, it's sort of hard to imagine life any other way and I too often have trouble visualizing myself as thin. I've certainly lost weight over the last couple of years, but I have never been able to break through and become THIN, or even slender. I'm still fat and it's hard for me to imagine FINALLY pushing through the plateau I inevitably fall into (or ... onto... as it's a plateau) and actually being thin.
Here we go again
10-01-2008, 12:44 PM
June- That's so funny. Even though my hips don't stick out I keep poking my sides and feeling all that muscle.
Erin- I think that's what I've been doing. It's easier to believe the bad over the good. But at least we haven't given up!
Cal- like 10 years ago when I was about 40 pounds lighter but still big, I would always tell everyone, I just want to be thick. I'm good just like I am. I think it was b/c I was scared to be skinnier.
Piper-I understand that too. Sometimes when I get comments or a marriage proposal from a stranger my first reaction is to think that they are poking fun at the fat girl, but then it just weirds me out. Well, the marriage proposals do. lol that's just strange!
Mindi- do you think that will go away in time?
10-01-2008, 01:01 PM
at 129lbs i still cant imagine myself as skinny....
10-01-2008, 02:01 PM
See that is why my goal is 170 because I can't imagine myself being any smaler then that.....even though when i was in high school I was 148(but not in a healthy way). So we will see...if I can break past 170 i will be stoked.an really not know what to do with myself!
10-01-2008, 02:30 PM
Been a big girl all of my life. Tallest in the class through most of elementary school. A little on the high side of the weight scale until middle school when I became overweight... and then obese.
I can't even imagine myself below 200 right now, much less skinny.
You aren't alone.
10-01-2008, 02:37 PM
Yes and no. I wasn't overweight my whole life. I've been young and thin and not exactly out of shape, but not fit either. 120 # and size 8. I've been a bit older, in good shape, eating fair, 130#, still a size 8. But it's been a long time since then, and I've spent a long time at 170 - 197#, size 14-18.
10-01-2008, 02:50 PM
I've been overweight since Kindergarten. When I would go to my babysitters after school, the other kids would get yummy snacks and I would carrots and celery sticks. (For a 6 year old...That's not something that easily understandable) In the 3rd grade I weighed 128lbs and in 7th grade I got into the 200's. I'm in the 180's for the first time in my life- that I can remember it!
But there are days that I don't feel the progress. Usually it's when I go into a clothing store. I feel like people are looking at me because I don't belong. I usually feel like the elephant in the room (PUN intended ) This past weekend I went into Victoria Secret (the store usually giving me the most anxiety) and I stood in the store like a deer in the headlights FOREVER. Then a sales lady came up to me and asked if I'd like a bag. (I wasn’t being ignored!!!!) More than that- I made a purchase! My FIRST Vicky's purchase in my entire life!!!
My point is that I think the feeling it totally normal and I wonder if I'll ever see myself the way other people see me. Or if I'll always feel like the girl couldn’t fit into the crowded bus seat. (Sometimes I feel my newly identifiable collar-bone just to make sure the progress is still there!) It seems like a feeling a lot of us go through!
10-01-2008, 03:20 PM
Actually, not at all. I can't believe how fat I am. My head doesn't think I look like this...until I look in a mirror. I know I am fat, definately. I can feel it every minute of the day but it doesn't feel normal. I can totally see myself thinner. I don't even dream the way I am, in all my dreams I am thin. Always. This me I am right now doesn't seem right.
10-01-2008, 05:03 PM
Everyone in my family that's overweight was at some point in their life skinny. I was not so lucky. I've never been skinny, and I really don't know how I'd look.
I'm hoping I'd look pretty darn good. ;)
10-01-2008, 05:07 PM
I don't really think I will ever be thin, skinny, or even thick and curvy. I have always been large, and I chose my goal as 150 because I didn't know what to choose. I didn't know what a good weight for me is. So, I figure when I get there, I will know. and I can't wait. lol.
10-01-2008, 05:11 PM
I can't remember what I look like thin. I started gaining weight rather steadily when I was 13/14, so for the last 9 years I've been... overweight, which bothers me more because when I was young, I was scrawny. I can't imagine what I'd be like if I were thin/a "healthy" weight.
10-01-2008, 05:32 PM
I have never been thin....so I have no idea what I would look like. It will be interesting to see though!
10-01-2008, 05:43 PM
The first time I remember thinking anything bad about my body I was 13 and at the doctor's office for a checkup. I weighed 113 and I remember my mom making a comment on that's what she weighed when she got married. I immediately thought I must be overweight since that's what I should weigh in my 20's! I was always pretty average/slim throughout jr. high and high school, but always thought I was heavier than I actually was.
When I did gain weight a couple years ago I lost it pretty quickly on WW. It was way weird how differently people treated me, even family members. And the extra male attention was actually uncomfortable at times! But the shopping was unbelivable! I've never shopped so much in my life!
10-01-2008, 05:45 PM
I too cannot wait to shop and try things on and actually purchase them becauseI look GOOD!!
10-01-2008, 06:44 PM
you arent crazy...i look at pictures from when i was kid and i dont even recognize the girl in the photos. I cant remember what its like to be her. In fact, she is kind of my enemy because her and I arent the same person anymore. what drive sme nuts is when my bf tells me he can imagine me skinny...when i cant. grrrrr
10-01-2008, 06:50 PM
I've can't imagin myself skinny because I've never been skinny. I have always been big, I'm actuallly smaller then I was in high school (I graduated high school in 2001). I look at my pants and shirts and still think to myself do I fit in those.
The other reason I have trouble is because I have so much extra skin on my abdomen so it is hard to imgen myself without it. I can't wait to get it removed.
10-01-2008, 07:29 PM
About a year ago I was down to 145 lbs. I found myself feeling uncomfortable, as if everyone was watching me. I couldn't hide anymore. I definitely noticed I got more attention but I had a hard time handling it, I found myself trying to think of ways I could get rid of the attention, I wanted to hide again.
It's funny because I can't help but feel jealous when I am hanging out with my best friend who is 5'6 and 105 lbs and she is ALWAYS getting compliments and stares from men. But I know that if it were me I would just die, I couldn't handle it.
I suppose that's something I need to work on, since soon it'll be me getting all the attention :-P
10-01-2008, 10:06 PM
I'm pretty much like all of the other people on here. . . I've been heavy almost all of my life. I can't really picture myself being a normal weight at all, or even 40 to 50 lbs lighter. I wish I could see it, but it's just haaaard. It's hard for me to see myself getting skinnier also. People say they see it in my face and whatnot. I most definitely don't! Not yet at least.
10-01-2008, 10:16 PM
10-01-2008, 10:50 PM
10-02-2008, 02:20 AM
I've been the big girl for as long as I can remember. A lot of my friends from high school and college are asian, so they're all naturally teeny people. I played sports in high school as well as did karate everyday and was still 145 lbs, which for my height is considered overweight. Geez.. I remember feeling fat then too -- what I wouldn't give to be back at that weight right now! You are totally not alone in that feeling!
10-02-2008, 02:54 AM
other people are telling me i look slim and beautiful....
yet in the mirror i see me being fat and ugly....
i think sometimes it is in the mind....
or mebbe it takes the minda a while to catch up!....
10-02-2008, 01:54 PM
Sh315, at 5'7 and 126lbs, you ARE slim. I'm kind of concerned...
10-02-2008, 02:56 PM
I'm in the same boat~ I've always been overweight so it's tough for me to see myself skinny. It was REALLY tough when I started losing weight.. (my highest was 192) to see how I'd look. I was a bit intimidated by that idea at the time, it was actually overwhelming. but at this point, I'm so eager to see myself skinny! At this point I'm so ready to shed the rest of this weight and dress in the clothes I wanna dress in and feel comfortable in my own skin~ I'm way more comfortable now but not enough...
10-03-2008, 12:20 PM
Yes, so much so. I've never been skinny, really ever. And even now that isn't what I want... what I want is to be COMFORTABLE. I haven't been for a very long time, but I've used it as a shield to avoid other things (I'm sure more than even I know). What's weird, is that even though I know this about myself, I'm always surprised when I look in the mirror at how big I am, and I never recognize myself in pictures (what is that THING??). So I am a little of both -- I want more than anything to be comfortable and recognize myself and wear "normal" clothes and stop hiding, but at the same time I can't imagine it being real or anything changing how it's always been.
Oh, the torment I create for myself, it's a wonder I haven't been locked in a padded room!!!
10-03-2008, 12:33 PM
At every weight I've been at, it's been hard for me to imagine myself any thinner than at that point.
Does that make sense? lol
10-03-2008, 01:27 PM
Sh315, at 5'7 and 126lbs, you ARE slim. I'm kind of concerned...
Yes, you definately are. We're not just saying that to be nice...you really are thin.
10-03-2008, 06:03 PM
I was always an average size growing up and in highschool...gained all my weight during college and in the past few years..( I dated a guy who was over 300 lbs and I began to just pack on the lbs as well). However I think that once you have been overweight or if you've been for a long time it's like you will never stop being "mentally fat" I look in the mirror and I still see things wrong..instead of right...I didn't even wear a pair of "normal" shorts all summer because of the little bit of fat on the inside of my knees and thighs...I always wore capris...just insane! I wish I didn't feel like this....I do notice a difference in my face....I can now see a collarbone and hipbones and shopping is a blast...I also get a lot of comments and attention from men but no matter what a part of me will always be "mentally fat" :-(.
10-04-2008, 12:58 AM
I completely know how it is. I have been "fat" my whole life. I don't know what my body would look like at a normal weight. I am excited to see it when I get there but at the same time scared. I have always been known as the "fat girl" and I have used to so many things to hide myself including being "fat."
I have refused to wear skirts/shorts at certain lengths because I think that is only for skinny girls. I have to be honest with myself sometimes though, and say my thighs are not as big as I think they are or my love handles are not as a apparent as I think they are. As much as I have said to myself I don't care what other people think, I do wonder what they see when they see me and most of the time I think of the worst.
I deal with my body image issues as they come. I try and let what my friends and loved ones say about how I look sink in. They have my best interests at heart and we have relationships where if they think there is something wrong we tell each other.
10-04-2008, 02:02 AM
This has been on my mind for some time now...
as others have mentioned, a "thinner" you is treated better and nicer because you are more attractive and acceptable in some people's eyes. I have had this theory for a while now myself that when(not if) I lose this weight I will see if the people that did not give me the time of day before will be nicer and more friendly.
we are members of a swim club and I know in my heart that i am treated unkindly because of my appearance-I just feel it. I told my husband this theory and he thinks I'm too self conscious about my weight(he's always wonderful and supportive toward me). The idea seems crazy but I know it's true-I am definately looked down upon. I have this fantasy that I tell these rude people how uncomfortable and sad that they have made me feel when they are being nice to me at some summer function next summer-but I do it in avery classy way-to show that I'm not as low class as they are. Anyone have this type of fantasy??