South Beach Diet - Is 10 lbs a month actually unreasonable and unrealistic?




Fat Melanie
08-19-2008, 10:00 AM
I'm asking this because in the past, I thought 10 lbs a month would be easy, nothing to it, but have found that is not actually the case. But I've heard others (not on this forum, but people I know IRL) speak of losing 10-15 lbs in a month. Last month I lost 6 lbs which I was quite happy about it. But for me, to lose 10 lbs in a month would be pretty difficult.

After much discussion on this forum and whatnot, I came to the realization that it wasn't right for me to have a goal, such as 'lose x amount of weight by x amount of time.' That's the sort of thinking I used to have and have since realized how unrealistic it was, and how much pressure it put on me, and ultimately I would fail as a result.

So, my healthy weight goal is around 150, but when it comes off, it comes off. As long as I keep working at it, I can't complain. I realize I will not lose 6 lbs every month, that it will fluctuate, and some months I may lose hardly anything at all. If I did a calculation using 6lbs a month to see how much I would have lost by Christmas (in the calculation hypothesis, it would be 24 lbs, putting me at 169), it would be inaccurate. So I won't try, because I know from experience I'm only gonna end up dissapointed, and I want to be thrilled with my achievements, no matter how minor. :D

Anyway, so isn't 10 lbs a month a little unrealistic, except for those who are very overweight?


ladybugnessa
08-19-2008, 10:02 AM
some months i lose nothing
some months i gain
some months i lose 3 or 4 pounds
for ME 10 per month is unrealistic.

JerseyGyrl
08-19-2008, 10:18 AM
I'm not on SB and I had at least 100 lbs to lose. I lost 10 lbs a month for several months but...I believe whats unrealistic is thinking that it will continue indefinitely. The recommended 1-2 lbs a week seems reasonable.


Fat Melanie
08-19-2008, 10:24 AM
I think 10 lbs is definitely unrealistic for me as well, though *sigh*... it would be nice.

Hi JerseyGyrl, I think when one has 100 lbs to lose then they can probably lose 10 lbs a month for awhile, like you said. But my god, WOW... I'm looking at your ticker and I'm really amazed. 102 lbs, that is fantastic and I'm highly jealous right now. Congrats! (oh Dr Phil, I used to despise him and found him to be so arrogant, but now I love watching that show, he tells it like it is)

But yeah, before I start going OT, I guess it all depends on the person and the weight they have to lose. I don't understand how these girls I know lost 10-15 lbs in a month though, they never had much to lose to begin with. Starvation diets, maybe? I dunno.

RealCdn
08-19-2008, 10:58 AM
I looked back and I've lost anywhere from 6.6 to 12 pounds over the last 8 months. 10 pounds would be a very good month, even with a lot to lose. It's hard to maintain enough of a deficit (from food or exercise) to lose more. The exception might be the start of a diet where most people lose a lot of water. Consider any month one where you end up lighter at the end of the month. I avoid 'weigh so much by a certain date' goals because as you said, it's easy to be disappointed with it.

uscarchie
08-19-2008, 11:12 AM
When i first started with P1, I lost 18lbs pretty quickly. And I did lose 10 lbs in one month once. Now I feel lucky if I lose 5 lbs a month, which is pretty reasonable, but I have to work harder and harder for those 5 pesky pounds. If you really, really worked hard, you could probably lose the 10 lbs, but I don't know if it's a maintanable effort level.

Lose 1 to 2 lbs a week, and you know its sustainable. :)

beautifulashez
08-19-2008, 11:55 AM
I have a new perspective for myself with weight loss. If I am not losing a reasonable amount, (1-2lbs a week) then I will increase my physical activity.

Shawski
08-19-2008, 12:01 PM
From my own experience I think 10lbs/ mo is realistic for the first month or two. After that I tend to plateau and loose more like 5 lbs a month. The first 15-20 lbs are always WAy easier than those that follow, for me anyway. I say try for 10 but don't count on it. That way if you get it you'll be happy, and if you don't you won't have set yourself up for dissapointment.

zeffryn
08-19-2008, 12:24 PM
As you lose more, it becomes harder and harder to lose weight quickly.....like many have said, healthy weight loss is somewhere in the ballpark of 1-2 lbs. per week. Adjust your calories and exercise accordingly, and you shouldn't have much problem with plateaus.......that being said, some plateaus happen for reasons unknown and only experimentation (with calories and different types of exercise) and time will break them.

Be patient.

And always, remember that weight loss is not a lateral thing....you can lose a buttload (literally) one month, and the next not lose a thing. Just keep tabs on your diet and the amount of exercise you're getting and adjust accordingly.

AutumnRose
08-19-2008, 12:31 PM
I agree, a 10 lb. weight loss would be doable if you have a lot of weight to lose and only in the beginning.

kaplods
08-19-2008, 04:08 PM
My personal belief is that goals should not be result-oriented, but behavior oriented.

Consider having a goal of growing your hair a half an inch a month - sounds kind of ridiculous, because how can you control how much your hair grows.

Weight loss is under our control, more than hair growth - but it's not under our immediate control, only our indirect control. So, I can have a goal to lose ten pounds, but I can't tell you EXACTLY how long it is going to take, for me to get there.

What I can control is what I eat and what I do, so those are my goals. The weight is an indirect goal. If I find that I'm meeting my goals for food and exercise, and the scale doesn't go down or doesn't go down fast enough - I have to adjust my goals. The weight is the result, not the goal.

Now, even I don't believe that entirely, but I still try not to put "goal by" dates on myself, because I always feel bad if I don't make it (even if I come very, ver close). All my dieting life, I would get discouraged when I didn't lose as fast as I wanted to, even when I came close. So, I do much better setting behavior goals, rather than result goals.

If you're going to set goal/by dates, reasonable or unreasonable, is so hard to determine. Is YOUR body able to meet your goal? Even if so, are you ok with the amount of energy it takes to get there? It's ok to set a goal that doesn't require every ounce of your mental and physical fortitude. You do have other things you want to do with your time during that month, and that's fine.

That's why I think focusing on the behavior is better than the goal. If I'm eating according to my food plan, I know that a 1 lb gain is likely water retention, and I'll see the "real" loss next weigh-in. However, if I'm focusing on the pounds, I don't care what that pound is made of, I want it gone, and I'm mad at myself that it isn't.

Thin4Good
08-19-2008, 05:24 PM
Kaplods - I really need to focus on that myself. I have been SO good as far as eating according to plan and exercising regularly but yesterday when I weighed in I had a gain and I just felt like crying. I mean- I am busting my butt ya know? So I really should just feel great about that and about how much more healthy my and my family's eating has become but instead I have been feeling like crap about the gain. I like the hair analogy because getting mad at yourself for your hair not growing fast enough seems laughable. :hug:

WebRover
08-19-2008, 07:12 PM
After much discussion on this forum and whatnot, I came to the realization that it wasn't right for me to have a goal, such as 'lose x amount of weight by x amount of time.' That's the sort of thinking I used to have and have since realized how unrealistic it was, and how much pressure it put on me, and ultimately I would fail as a result.

. . .As long as I keep working at it, I can't complain.


My personal belief is that goals should not be result-oriented, but behavior oriented.

What I can control is what I eat and what I do, so those are my goals. The weight is an indirect goal.


This shift in thinking appears to be one of the critical measures of weight loss and weight maintenance success based on what I've observed here. It's part of the change from "diet" thinking to "Way of Life" thinking. It allows you to eat on plan and keep on keeping on without requiring the scale to give you the results on a schedule.

We'd all like to lose 10 pounds a month. Shoot, we'd all like to lose all the weight overnight. Getting yourself to a place where you don't have to live up to a hastily devised unattainable schedule but are willing to keep putting in the effort because it's forever really makes a difference.

I like being able to set goals that I know are within my grasp instead of arbitrary goals that I have only partial control over. I can stay on plan. I can't use my crystal ball to determine what the result of "on plan" will be for an arbitrary date in the future. Now that I know that, I'm enjoying the journey.

kaplods
08-19-2008, 07:28 PM
Maybe the hair analogy isn't such a stretch after all. I remember all those ads in magazine about "hair growth" elixers, and such. And my mom, after she became a cosmetologist, would tell me that what I ate and how I treated my hair would affect how it would grow.

And she was right. If I didn't condition my hair, the ends would split and break off (so while it was growing, it wasn't getting longer).

She said that since hair was made of protein, you had to get enough protein for healthy hair. And that some vitamin and nutrient deficiencies could cause hair loss.

So maybe it's a better analogy than I thought. To grow nice hair, you do have to take care of your hair, and eat properly. Not too different than weight loss, is it?

If you set your behavior goals (what I will eat and how I will exercise), you will know when you've succeeded. Especially if you're finding a way to document what you've done (like a food/exercise log). So, even if you're not perfect, you can see when you're making progress. If the scale doesn't move in the right direction, or far enough, it you haven't failed, you may either have to change your behavior goals (say you did everything according to plan, and still aren't losing) or try harder to meet them (say you aren't losing because you weren't meeting your food/exercise goals).

For someone who is easily discouraged by failure, this new definition of success has kept me going. I can honestly say that every other time I have done this (weight loss) I would have considered what I'm doing now as failure. Losing weight slowly? Sometimes going weeks without losing at all? Regaining and relosing the same couple pounds over and over? Setting goals for myself and only meeting half of them? All failure.

I don't think like that anymore. I made myself a little goal worksheet that includes eight categories of things I want to do for the day (prayer, diet, exercise, TOPS business, cleaning/organization, finances, creative, leisure/fun). It may sound kind of dorky, but I'm a list addict. I'm so disorganized that it takes real effort to function in normal society sometimes.

But these lists help me see that even though I'm not meeting all of my goals, I'm making progress. I've always tried to set goals for myself higher than I am able to accomplish. This used to make me feel like a failure. Learning to make smaller, more reasonable goals has helped, but if I don't meet those, I feel like a BIGGER failure. Writing it down makes me feel more in control about it, and more objective about my progress. For each goal, I have a little blank to write the day's goal and my evaluation of my efforts. By writing it down, it reminds me to do it, and if I don't get it done, I have to decide why I didn't do it, and write it down.

Sometimes I think I'm really getting carried away with treating myself as lab rat and scientist (my favorite diet analogy), but it's working, and as I gain strength and stamina it's working better. That's where I'm most amazed.

My usual pattern is to start off as strong as I will ever be, and then decline over time. That's just not a normal pattern to behavior. Most behaviors are skills, and you should be able to get better at it over time. And I think I finally am (getting better and better, rather than worse and worse).

It makes me think that nothing is beyond my grasp - that I might even be able to reach a healthy, normal weight and even become physically fit (not just compared to what I was, but compared to the "average" person).

I have to calm myself down, and not get to wrapped up in thinking about being "normal," though. I may never be "normal" (oh, in so many more ways than one), but I can do better than I'm doing now, and as long as I keep THAT in mind, there are no limits to how much better.

zeffryn
08-19-2008, 11:13 PM
Shoot, we'd all like to lose all the weight overnight.

So....this isn't something I should strive for?

:(

kaplods
08-19-2008, 11:22 PM
Shoot, we'd all like to lose all the weight overnight.

So....this isn't something I should strive for?


Not unless you're fond of the "chainsaw method."



(I wouldn't reccommend - very messy).

WebRover
08-20-2008, 01:59 AM
Quote:

Not unless you're fond of the "chainsaw method."

(I wouldn't reccommend - very messy).

:rofl:
How to lose all the weight at once - and stay in the same clothing size!
:lol3: :lol3: :lol3:

beachgal
08-20-2008, 11:47 AM
Melanie, you've gotten several great responses!

Some things to add in:

Losing at the "safe" rate of 1-2 pounds per week not only keeps you healthy, but allows you to learn a new way of eating so you are much more likely to keep that weight off. Even better, it allows your skin time to "rebound" so you are less likely to have saggy skin. It's an overall GOOD thing to lose weight slowly, even though it can be frustrating.
Every person's loss rate is different, based on how much they have to lose, how they ate before, if they've yo-yo dieted in the past, how much they exercise, and how much sleep they get, among many other concerns.
Putting too much pressure on yourself to lose more weight than you really can leads to feeling like a failure...and often to more eating, which compounds the problem. Set up achievable goals and then, if you lose more than you thought you would, you'll be pleasantly surprised, but if you don't, you won't feel bad.

beachgal
08-20-2008, 12:01 PM
If you set your behavior goals (what I will eat and how I will exercise), you will know when you've succeeded. Especially if you're finding a way to document what you've done (like a food/exercise log). So, even if you're not perfect, you can see when you're making progress. If the scale doesn't move in the right direction, or far enough, it you haven't failed, you may either have to change your behavior goals (say you did everything according to plan, and still aren't losing) or try harder to meet them (say you aren't losing because you weren't meeting your food/exercise goals).

For someone who is easily discouraged by failure, this new definition of success has kept me going. I can honestly say that every other time I have done this (weight loss) I would have considered what I'm doing now as failure. Losing weight slowly? Sometimes going weeks without losing at all? Regaining and relosing the same couple pounds over and over? Setting goals for myself and only meeting half of them? All failure.

I don't think like that anymore. I made myself a little goal worksheet that includes eight categories of things I want to do for the day (prayer, diet, exercise, TOPS business, cleaning/organization, finances, creative, leisure/fun). It may sound kind of dorky, but I'm a list addict. I'm so disorganized that it takes real effort to function in normal society sometimes.

... I can do better than I'm doing now, and as long as I keep THAT in mind, there are no limits to how much better.

Kaplods, I LOVE what you've talked about here! I have been staying away from the scale since February and have had the hardest time trying to "measure" how I'm doing. Plus, I feel like my life is often very unorganized, and I also hate the lack of balance between all the things I want to do in a day. I love those days when you feel like you've spent some time with your faith, some time exercising, some time eating healthy, some time relaxing, some time getting errands/chores done, and some time being creative. It's such a GREAT way to live! Thanks for sharing this with us! I'd love to hear more about how you set up your chart/goals and how you find time in the day for all the categories, if you want to PM me. :D Thanks so much for sharing...and for your infusion of hope! :hug:

JulieJ08
08-20-2008, 12:01 PM
:rofl:
How to lose all the weight at once - and stay in the same clothing size!
:lol3: :lol3: :lol3:

Yeah, but you'll have to hem things.

JerseyGirrl
08-20-2008, 01:22 PM
IMO the slower you take the weight off the easier it is to keep it off. I'm like Nessa..some months I don't lose at all...some I gain a lb or 2 and other months I'll lose 5-8 lbs. I think I can chalk that up to my chaotic life lately, but I'm back on track now. I can't set goals such as 10 lbs by xmas because if I don't reach the goal I'm disappointed and tempted to say "eff it all" and go off plan or if I do reach goal I think I can cheat a lil too much because I get over confident I guess.

The only goal I set for myself is for this to be a lifestyle change. Yes I have a goal weight in mind but my biggest goal is to be healthy and happy/comfortable with who I am and to find the old me(who I was before PCOS and insulin issues had a field day with me).

kaplods
08-20-2008, 06:19 PM
I think even when we talk about the safety of losing 1 to 2 lbs per week, that makes it sounds like that's what we all should be expecting to lose - or that it's "normal" to lose this much, and the fact is that your body may not even be up to 1 lb per week. I was griping to my doctor about how slow the weight loss is coming off and how I "should" be losing more, and he really got on my case a bit, about unrealistic expectations. He said there are no "shoulds," and that if you're consistently losing just about anything, you're ahead of most people. And I think part of it is that if people can't maintain the 2 lb per week loss or start to dip under 1, they get discouraged and start thinking this is all impossible.

If you're working as hard as you are willing to (I'm not even going to say able to, because nearly everyone could work harder - if they were willing to make sacrifices that it's ok not to be willing to make (quitting your job usually isn't an option, even if it would give you more time to work out, and force you to eat less), and you're losing weight, you're succeeding. I think sometimes people aren't happy with the rate of loss, but don't want to have to work harder. Well, unfortunately you can't have both - but it's perfectly fine to say "I'm working as hard as I am willing to," if that means you aren't losing as fast as you'd like to, or aren't losing at all, you only have two options. Change what you're willing to do, or change what you're expecting to happen.

For me, for the first time I think, I've changed what I was expecting to happen. I'm working as hard as I'm willing to - in fact, it's a lot less than I've ever been willing to do in the past, in some ways. But, the slow weight loss is ok, because I still weigh less today than I have in at least six or seven years. (Wow, every once in a while it still surprises me how different this time is from ever before).

I think before I was sometimes caught in a dilemma - I wanted the weight to come off faster (often faster than physiologically possible) but I wasn't willing to or couldn't imagine working harder. And I don't know why, but lowering my expectations never seemed like an "ok" option. If I wasn't losing 2 lbs or more each and every week, I was doing something "wrong," and since I couldn't or couldn't imagine working any harder, I felt like my only choice was to give up (it doesn't make sense of course, but yet it's the way I thought I was supposed to think).

murphmitch
08-20-2008, 06:26 PM
There are also many other ways, besides the scales, to measure your progress. Check your BP at your drugstore. Is it healthier now? Is your resting pulse in the morning lower as you exercise more? I love to use my waist measurement as a way to monitor. Sometimes you are losing inches instead of pounds. In my community, you can get your blood tested for like $15 periodically at community sites, so you could monitor your glucose or cholesterol level without seeing a doctor. Your body is getting healthier in so many weighs that are not neccesarily reflected on your bathroom scales! :goodscale

WebRover
08-20-2008, 07:53 PM
This just really speaks to me about the difference this time around vs. prior attempts to "diet"


the safety of losing 1 to 2 lbs per week, that makes it sounds like that's what we all should be expecting to lose You're right. For me I felt I NEEDED to lose at least a pound a week or I wasn't successful.

if you're consistently losing just about anything, you're ahead of most people.
Yes. I started out with a goal of 1/2 pound a week because that seemed to be more what my body would settle for before. Now I'm happy to be keeping it off and losing a little more whenever it happens.

And I think part of it is that if people can't maintain the 2 lb per week loss or start to dip under 1, they get discouraged and start thinking this is all impossible. Absolutely. I believe that's just a key difference between the diets you quit and the life change you successfully make.

"I'm working as hard as I am willing to," if that means you aren't losing as fast as you'd like to, or aren't losing at all, you only have two options. Change what you're willing to do, or change what you're expecting to happen. Very good point.

For me, for the first time I think, I've changed what I was expecting to happen. Yes

but lowering my expectations never seemed like an "ok" option. If I wasn't losing 2 lbs or more each and every week, I was doing something "wrong," and since I couldn't or couldn't imagine working any harder, I felt like my only choice was to give up (it doesn't make sense of course, but yet it's the way I thought I was supposed to think).


Thanks for posting this. Lots of "food for thought" here.

Moonring05
08-20-2008, 08:23 PM
I think it depends on the person. I have only been dieting for about a month now, but I have already lost over 20 lbs. I think a lot of it was water weight and just changing my life style. I went to never eating veggies to eating them every day. And I have been exercising sometimes three hours a day. And I have been exercising 7 days a week. I use to never exercise.

I feel great, and I already see the difference in my everyday life. I started school yesterday, my campus is in the middle of a big city so all the buildings are scattered, I used to never be able to walk several blocks and climb stairs to class without getting out of breath. Yesterday I walked all over the place and climbed tons of stairs all day, and I wasn't out of breath at all.

I don't think I will continue losing 10 lbs every month, though. I think it's different for each person. All you can do is try!

JulieJ08
08-20-2008, 08:29 PM
Yesterday I walked all over the place and climbed tons of stairs all day, and I wasn't out of breath at all.

That is just the best feeling!

kaplods
08-20-2008, 10:23 PM
I think the main reason I had to start changing my expectations wasn't because of what was or was not a reasonable goal, but it was the thought that I could control how much I lost.

For example, on one of my early largely successul (several months worth) attempts, I lost 11 lbs the first week. That's a hard act to follow. That set me up though to always want that kind of "first week." Also, I would use the previous week's loss, as inspiration for next week's loss (I want to do as well or better) and last month's loss as a guide for next month's loss.

I was so often overshooting, that even amazing successes, seemed like failures "darn, I didn't do as well as last week, or last month." Even when I tried to take into account the ever diminishing effects of weight loss, I still overestimated more often than not. As a result, I felt like I was failing more often than I was succeeding.

No matter how much I told myself that I was "really" being very successful, not meeting a month's goal (even if I came very, very close) just took alot of "oomph" out of the victory (if I felt any victory at all).

Changing my expectations meant any loss was a celebration, and a gain that wasn't related to how well I followed my food/exercise plan was not something to see as a failure (that's still a little harder).

For example this has been a crazy, horrible week for me. On Saturday I went shopping with my MIL and SIL for MIL's wedding. I overexherted myself and fell into a super doozy of a flare of the fibromyalgia (felt like I had the flu - muscle aches, nausea...). I also ran out of my diuretic (for blood pressure - I still had my main blood pressure medication, but not the diuretic), and wasn't able to fill it until today, because of how we get paid. So I kept drinking extra water, but my body wasn't flushing it. This morning, I was up 8 lbs, and i was very discouraged, but decided I wouldn't change my ticker until I'd been back on my medication for a few days.

I took my pill at 10 am, and am already down four pounds from this morning.

Nothing I did to gain those 8 lbs was worthy of guilt (except being careless with my prescription med refills, but that has nothing to do with "diet guilt" that's just "being a bonehead guilt"). And nothing I did in the last 11 hours was worthy of praise, either.

When my goal was a certain pound loss, I never felt in complete control of the outcome. How hard I worked, didn't always translate into how much the scale moved. But when my goals were behaviors, I felt more in control of them. If I did everything I planned, even if the scale didn't move, I knew I was learning skills that were going to get me where I wanted to go. If I didn't meet all my goals, and the scale didn't move, I didn't have to have the "what did I do wrong," feeling, I could SEE where I needed to make improvements. Sometimes "try harder," is too ambiguous. Try harder at what, specifically. Oh, I gained this week - I didn't journal, hmm I notice I do better when I journal, I'd really better make an extra effort to journal this week. It's like even when I fail, because of the way I'm doing this, I don't feel hopeless when I do anymore. I have it right in front of me (in my journals) what I need to do next week to get better results.

I feel more in charge of my life, I guess. And I think that's what the "old way" of weight loss, the "diet mentality" takes away from me - control. The hoping and wishing and praying, meant that whatever happened on the scale wasn't really connected to me. I know that sounds crazy, but disconnecting the goal with my actions, also meant that failures didn't point me in the way I needed to go, they just told me I was bad - a failure. "Why" wasn't always clear.

Now, I analyze the outcome of the scale in terms of what I've done, not who I am. It's not longer telling me whether I have been "good" or not, but it is telling me if my goals need to be reconsidered.

Since I can't set "goal by" dates without feeling the scale is telling me who I am, I just don't do it anymore, and I find it completely changes the feeling of weight loss for me. All other weight loss attemps have unpleasant connotations. I don't ever remember having so much FUN losing weight before (uh, or any fun for that matter). And it's not like my charts and games aren't things I tried before, but they were all about the weight (no goal charts, no exercise - action oriented charts). I've never felt so in control of what I'm doing before - even though in many ways I don't have the will power or determination, or stamina than I did when I was younger.

Thin4Good
08-20-2008, 11:57 PM
I wish I had a printer right now. - I need this on my wall.

beachgal
08-21-2008, 10:56 AM
I wish I had a printer right now. - I need this on my wall.

Amen, amen, AMEN! Kaplods, you are writing some very inspiring and thoughtful stuff here! :hug: Thanks so much for sharing your hard-won wisdom with us. :idea:

I'm sorry to have implied that it's normal by saying that losing 1-2 lbs/week is safe. I agree with you, Kaplods, when you say:
if you're consistently losing just about anything, you're ahead of most people
We had a Beachie here (RNMom) who consistently lost something like 1/2 lb or less each week, but she eventually reached her goal, and kept it off, too. Even if you just maintain the weight, you're doing much better than most! So I totally agree with you and plead with anyone who's putting too much pressure on him- or herself to please be gentle with yourself. This is about changing your life...not about how much you weigh, even though we often tend to focus on that. :grouphug:

Moonring, you're doing great! :congrat: I love your NSV with the walking around campus thing. I had a similar experience with the stairs at work after I started SBD, and it was thrilling!!! :hyper: I get what you were saying, kaplods, about the issue of setting yourself up for failure when you expect later weight losses to be like the beginning. When I started out, I lost an exteme amount of weight during the first two weeks (like Moonring, I had never eaten much in the way of veggies and never exercised...plus I was extremely overweight and had been eating junk for over 3 years without any dieting at all). I continued for the next seven months or so, losing so much each week that I had to go to a nutritionist to make sure it was healthy. Eventually it slowed down, and that's where I floundered...not knowing how to deal with the change. I think you've isolated the issue, kaplods, and done a great job of explaining it! Wish I'd talked with you when I hit that spot. ;) I'm so sorry your week has been so bad, but you are doing a great job dealing with it! :hug:

...but lowering my expectations never seemed like an "ok" option. If I wasn't losing 2 lbs or more each and every week, I was doing something "wrong," and since I couldn't or couldn't imagine working any harder, I felt like my only choice was to give up (it doesn't make sense of course, but yet it's the way I thought I was supposed to think).
Absolutely how I feel in lots of areas! Sadly, it makes great sense to me...but I'm so glad to hear what you're saying about thinking outside the nine dots. It's a little how I felt when I read Obama's second book (hope this doesn't sound political...it's not meant to be)--that we think that there are always only two options (Lose weight or gain, this way or that way), but there's no reason (at least some of the time) that we can't think of a totally new option or way.

kaplods
08-21-2008, 01:23 PM
Oh I didn't mean that anyone was implying that 1 to 2 lbs was to be expected, it's just a reflex for me to point that out, because I learned it so recently (boy do I feel dumb for being "trapped" in the box for so long). But that is the problem of "in the box" thinking - you can be a genius and still never go outside the lines. Why? Why is it so easy to put boundaries on our options? I'm not sure, but Obama is right, so many times we think that our options are limited when they are not.

It really shows how much of dieting is governed by unwritten social rules and taboos - so much so that learning to think outside the box is a challenge.