100 lb. Club - I HAD my AH-HA moment




View Full Version : I HAD my AH-HA moment


mollymom
08-13-2008, 10:56 PM
I had been doing really well for a year..had lost nearly 50 of my 100 pounds..then I let myself get off track...and was gaining again. I didn't realize how much it was bothering me until:

My boyfriend and I were at an antique sale a few weeks and I was introduced to a woman he knows. She was maybe a size 6/8 and about 5.10. Anyhow we were talking about my friend's daughter's wedding and we were talking about her dress. I said, well it will look lovely on her..she is very tall and slim..like you. Well this woman, starts smacking her CONCAVE stomach and saying: Slim oh god no I am a cow..loook at this gut and went on and on about this.

I am 5'9 and an 18/20 I WAS FURIOUS! Driving home, I was pretty quiet and my friend asked me what was wrong and I just burst into tears. It all came out..how pissed off I am at women who are *****ing because they have gained three pounds and now they can't fit into their "skinny" jeans, how movies always make the "funny person" fat, how mad I was at myself for letting myself get off track..it all just came out...and I realized how much of an emotional toll being fat is taking on me.

I am about to turn fifty, and I am GOING to lose that extra 15 pounds and reach my halfway goal of losing 50 pounds by my birthday in november. I am angry at myself for letting myself get fat in the first place and then living as a fat person for twenty years. I am determined that my days of living as a fat, sad, depressed self-loathing person are going to come to an end. I don't want to worry if I will fit in the plane seat, to be limited to shopping in FAT LADY STORES WITH UGLY CLOTHES, of seeing myself reflected in a window and being shocked at how I look.

I have a lot going for me. I may not be pretty, but I don't make dogs howl. I have beautiful blue eyes good skin and don't look fifty or feel fifty at all.I am tall, and I have long arms and legs. I have always carried myself well and I am pretty graceful. I remember being what looked like slim...but I was a size 14/16..that is just my build. I find it ironic that my goal weight and size are what some women just wail about..but they are shorter than I am and dont' have my build. I pull out a 14.16 from a rack and it looks TINY to me.

And when I get there, I am going to post my picture..in my dream outfit..a slim black skirt, a gray cashmere turtleneck, my favourite silver jewellery and my killer high heels..which I will take off immediately after that picture is taken:D (the heels, not the whole outfit,a dn then I will put on my pretty patent flats lol)

So ladies and gents..be prepared cause this woman is going to be posting losses and workouts and every little success she has,,,cause I have spent years hiding and hating myself..and now I am going to pat myself on the back every moment I can. SO THERE~! :wave:


shelby897
08-13-2008, 11:32 PM
You go girl!! :D

Your determination will get you to goal -- you wait and see.

I'm an inch taller than you and 10 pounds heavier -- but I bet in no time we can be 1/2 way to our goal -- a great accomplishment!!

Good luck "seeing the light". To me it's not one particular thing, it's the whole collection that just put me over the edge.

Your life is waiting :hug:

chick_in_the_hat
08-13-2008, 11:43 PM
I may not be pretty, but I don't make dogs howl.

That's hilarious. :lol:

Thanks so much for the inspirational quote...I've been sliding a bit myself lately.

Looking forward to your goal post! :cb:


Dillybar
08-14-2008, 12:15 AM
Thanks for posting and allowing us to read this. Its so good to know that there are people like me out there. :)

valpal23
08-14-2008, 12:25 AM
:cheer: :cheer2: :cheer: you can do this!

Sheila53
08-14-2008, 01:28 AM
:cheer: Go for it!!

I, too, was 49 when I started my 100 lb. weight loss journey. Don't let anyone ever tell you that you can't lose weight when you're over 50. I'm here to tell you that you can, and, more importantly, you can maintain that weight loss, too.

Jo7475
08-14-2008, 01:40 AM
:cheer: :dust:

Thanks for sharing your story with us. I feel that many women do not understand unless they have been overweight themselves. You can do this! Keep up the good work you are half way there! :)

mollymom
08-14-2008, 07:08 AM
Thanks so much for the kind words...I have realized that I have had a lot of negative people in my life so I can use all the cheerleaders I can get!:cheer:

Last week I also lost a very fast 200 pounds..I asked my boyfriend to move out. We were getting along great but it had obviously become a friendship not a romance. That was taking an emotional toll on me, and we all know that getting emotional control is part of the successfull weight loss/control triangle. We are honestly and truly still very good friends. I think he was relieved that I was the one to bring it up. It feels good to be on my own again. I don't think I could ever live with someone happily...I have always said I would love to get married, but could he live across the street? Anyhow he is a huge help to me with my house, and still comes over and works on the projects he had started. I am very lucky. He had never been negative about my weight loss progress/problems, he just didn't understand. He had never had a weight problem, saying "oh I can't have that...too many calories/fat" was an unknown experience to him.

The upside of this is that I am now able to live my life the way I know I have to to be successful and happy. He was a meat/potatoes and ice cream man, and he wouldn't have wanted to eat the kind of food I actually love an enjoy..i.e vegetable lentil soup, quinoa and tomato/black bean salad with lime dressing etc...and he was complaining about the amount of turkey and fish..well tough. I honestly don't know how women who have to feed husbands or families do it! Kudos to you!

My fridge is now back to being stocked the way I like it. I sent along all the spareribs, ice cream, cookies, crackers, peanuts, high calorie low fiber cereal etc. to his place. I am up at this hour, without having to tip toe around so as not to wake anyone. I am off to walk the dog along our beautiful river, and then to the gym. Oh BTW I am a teacher...back to work after 2.5 years on disability...let's just say six surgeries in five years, arthritis, and fibro and the resulting depression and anxiety disorders..but I am not going to be whining about that. It hurts, I take meds, I get on with it..I rest when I need to (or soon that will be changing to rest when I can)..that is reality. It could be worse! Much worse!

Rosinante
08-14-2008, 09:17 AM
Inspiration post, thankyou!

I could have written it (the first one) about me - except I'm 6" shorter! - but great eyes, astounding skin for 53. I have sworn to be on the high side of 'normal' by the time I'm 54 in April 2009.

And I could stab those slender people who have not the sensitivity Not to bang on about their weight to someone much heavier, it is So Rude! They're allowed to want to lose more weight but a little tact, please!

Trazey34
08-14-2008, 12:28 PM
off topic i know but yer a bit mental for not thinking you're pretty!

you're VERY pretty!

and you look nowhere near fifty so yah i kind of hate you :D
SO THERE!

clibrarian
08-14-2008, 12:34 PM
You'll get there! You have a great attitude!

And oh my, I LOVED your description of the woman that was speaking with you and insisted she was a 'cow'-- ugh. Hilarious. That is so insensitive and ridiculous of her. Sometimes I wonder if people do that because they are so horribly insecure or something.

xYourBelleMortex
08-14-2008, 12:36 PM
You are a better and more gracious person than I. I would have told her that she looked a wreck and should run home immediately and hide in her closet until she gets rid of that hideous gut of hers.

You go girl. From your picture you are totally hot!!!!

delitaagain
08-14-2008, 12:51 PM
I had been doing really well for a year..had lost nearly 50 of my 100 pounds..then I let myself get off track...and was gaining again. I didn't realize how much it was bothering me until:

Mollymom, I can so identify! I lost 50 pounds (of 150 to lose) then got off track and put back 35! I wish I had turned around after onl 15.

And, I'm 5'8" and carry weight so well I can always win a prize from the "weight guesser" at the carnival. LOL

I'm not a special beauty bu nice enough when not bloated, and also have nice some nice features; eyes, long limbs, great skin and people under-guess my 58 years all the time. Size 14-16 looks GREAT on me, and a 12 is THIN! Less would be anorexic looking. Not just my thoughts, some people worry about me at a low size 12.

Hurray for you and thanks for the inspiration! I especially like the fact that you can see your good points and don' feel the need to be size 4-6!

yoyonomoreinvegas
08-14-2008, 02:01 PM
:cheer: Don't let anyone ever tell you that you can't lose weight when you're over 50. I'm here to tell you that you can, and, more importantly, you can maintain that weight loss, too.

Meee tooo! In fact, we have a whole group of 50+ folks gettin' fit a fantastic so you are so not alone in this.

You'll get there! You have a great attitude!

And oh my, I LOVED your description of the woman that was speaking with you and insisted she was a 'cow'-- ugh. Hilarious. That is so insensitive and ridiculous of her. Sometimes I wonder if people do that because they are so horribly insecure or something.

Sometimes it's insecurity and sometimes it's a body image issue - At one point (loooooong ago and far away) I was all the way down to 115 lbs. At my height and with my build that was really unhealthy and pretty scary skinny but, when I looked in the mirror, what I saw were enormous thighs and a huge, flabby butt - and I used to complain that I was a "cow". One time a lady called me a "skinny minnie" and I nearly went home in tears because I thought she was making fun of me. So, even though her behavior seemed hurtful and insensitive to you, at least you were able to turn it into a positive - meaning the motivation you needed to take control - She may actually be hurting as much as you are. Think of how sad it would be to have that little body and not be able to enjoy it....

mj5
08-14-2008, 05:03 PM
Great attitude! I am so glad that you are making these positive changes in your life!!! Good for you!

mollymom
08-14-2008, 05:56 PM
I had to come to the realization that for a long time I was the opposite of an anorexic. I would look in the mirror and think I was thin!:dizzy: Yep...denial is more than a river in Egypt!

I have my TOPS meeting tonight. I hope/am pretty sure I will lose again. I was high loser last week...would be nice to do it again. Had a pretty good week, a few no no's but I THINK I managed them in my "calorie budget" pretty well. Basically I look at tracking weight loss like tracking the stock market. As long as your month end is lower than the beginning of the month..well WOO HOO!;)

GirlyGirlSebas
08-14-2008, 07:02 PM
:cheer3: Go Molly! :cheer3:

Vladadog
08-14-2008, 07:10 PM
You can do it Molly! I'm starting out about where you were and am about where you are now and at about the same age (just shorter and no flashy blue eyes, alas!). This site is great and you'll have lots of cheerleaders the whole time!

mollymom
08-14-2008, 10:59 PM
I have a BLOG..Fifty by Fifty. I am just such a newbie to this stuff, I can barely figure out how to write in it let alone edit comments, upload pictures etc. HOW COME THESE THINGS NEVER COME WITH INSTRUCTIONS! My kettle came with instructions... but not blogs. I will do it though.


Okay tonight wasn't as good as I hoped but considering three lunches out, one dinner party, one bbq and my once a year fries from the chip truck, I should be happy with the 3/4 pound loss. That is three weeks in a row that I have lost..not huge amounts but a loss nonetheless. One more loss and I get my 4 weeks in a row loss reward of one week's free dues from TOPS:cool:

Thanks so much for all the encouragement. It just boggles me that I can write out my frustrations and kind messages come pouring into my computer from all over the place. I just don't thinka bout how it works ..cause I get a headache. I am just glad you are all there for me...and I will try to get reading some other posts and put in my cheers for others as well:hug:

Pandora123a
08-15-2008, 10:21 AM
Hey Mollymom,

Three weeks of loss is awesome! You've lost a lot already, slowing down is also part of the process.

I feel sorry for the woman you met...the truth is she probably wasn't being insulting, she didn't think about your weight, she felt so lousy about her own body. That type of encounter reminds me that much of what we carry around is mental. I worry that no matter how much I lose it will never be "enough" and I will continue to feel fat.

I love being married...but I lived alone for a lot of years and sometimes miss it. There is a lot to be said for a husband in the house across the street. (Mine does live with me.)

One thought if you meet someone else. After a number of years of dinner unhappiness, when my husband and I are alone we eat separate, but concurrent, meals. He is a pasta and volume guy, I like broiled meats. We are each responsible for our own cooking and cleanup. (Sometimes I roast a chicken, which he loves, and we share.) At first it felt very strange and wrong, but someone pointed out that we don't share meals in restaurants, why do it at home?

Good luck, welcome to the boards.

Cuter w Curves
08-15-2008, 03:27 PM
off topic i know but yer a bit mental for not thinking you're pretty!

you're VERY pretty!

and you look nowhere near fifty so yah i kind of hate you :D
SO THERE!


THANK YOU!

This was what I was scrolling to post! :carrot::carrot:

Well said!

Beverlyjoy
08-17-2008, 10:04 AM
:flow1::cheer2::cheer2::flow1:

I am so, so glad you posted!! You go girl. I know you CAN do this. We will be here cheering you on and holding your hand!!!

LisaMarie71
08-18-2008, 12:01 PM
Thank you for posting your story and sharing your determination. It's obvious to me that you WILL succeed!!

I'm coming back to the 100 lb. club after gaining 80 pounds back with pregnancy, right after losing 115 pounds!! And if I can lose 115 pounds, anyone can -- I know people say that kind of thing all the time, but it's true. Back in 2001, I lost 50 pounds, just like you had, but I slacked and gained it back plus some. Then in the last year or two I just got really determined and did it. And you will too. Of course, now I have to do it all over again after gaining the extra baby weight (he's 11 days old, by the way), so I'll be looking for support and encouragement as well.

By the way, I always had a goal of getting down to a size 14 because I remembered being thin enough at that size. When I got there last year, though, I ended up keeping on going and eventually got to an 8 and a 10. Of course I was only there for about 5 minutes before I got knocked up!! Anyway, as far as sizes go, you may surprise yourself!

Sea
08-18-2008, 12:22 PM
I feel at home here, today.
I'd gotten down to 160 before stressing out after a visit to family. It only took a couple of days off plan for me to give up. That was wrong. Two years later I know that I need to be in here regularly to keep on plan. Thank you for helping me feel some optomism. It helps to be reminded that I'm not the only person going through my particular struggle. Your original post could have been me except that I'm a lot shorter.

Mommysince21505
08-18-2008, 04:59 PM
Congrats on finding your "ah-ha" that is so great!!! Good luck, you can do this!!!

Ookpik
08-19-2008, 01:48 AM
Great attitude, it will get you where you want to go!

And of course you're pretty! :)