Hi,
I'm new here, I hope you don't mind, this is the first thread I've ever started. I need to let off some steam and it seems like there are a few of us brides to be around, maybe someone else can relate.
I've been engaged for about a year and I'm getting married in September. Earlier this year I made a decision to *finally* lose that weigth that I've been feeling bad about for the last couple of years. I'm about half-way there with fifteen lbs to go in eleven weeks.
Here's where I get annoyed: when I asked my friends and family to be supportive, nine times out of ten, I get a simpering smile and some variation of the patronizing "Oh, you look perfect how you are. You brides always try to lose weight!".
I'm getting tired of trying to explain that this is not simply about squeezing into a dress for pictures' sake. It's about feeling a little better about myself eveyday on the way to the goal. It's about being a happier, more confident me. It's about starting my new life with the me that I really want to be. And yes, if I end up looking better in the dress, I won't complain about that either! The wedding motivated me to start, but it isn't the end game. This is for life.
Now, I'm not asking anyone to go out of their way with diet friendly foods at events, or to be my cheer leader. Nor am I asking them to look me up and down like my future mother in law with a "it's about time" look on her face (lol). Just don't argue with me when I turn down a piece of birthday cake, or order a salad instead of a burger and fries.
I think I've finally gotten through to them that this isn't just a whim, and I plan on sticking to it. Just frustrating that somehow, because I'm getting married, my goals aren't to be taken seriously.
Anyway, sorry for the Monday morning rant. I just needed to get that off my chest.
Unfortunately, due to the timing of everything, people are going to assume that you're "doing it for picture's sake" and blah blah blah...but don't let them get you down! You know what it's about and you know that it's for the rest of your life! Everyone needs some sort of motivation or swift kick to get them in gear, that moment of no turning back- for you, it's your wedding, and what better of a goal to have!! Just keep with it, even after the wedding and I wish you the best of luck- they'll see, even if not right away; Congrats on the wedding and your weight loss, too:-)
I'm getting married in October and EVERYTHING I do/say/want, etc. is supposed to be for the wedding... Everything. That's sort of just how it is; but YOU know your motivations behind what you do, so just keep that in mind and don't worry about what others say.
couldn't agree more. I started losing weight before we got engaged (a pretty good chunk of it). and people STILL think i'm losing for the wedding...HELLOOOO my dress is too big already, but whatever. Its your day, don't stress. And if it really bothers you just tell them "I really wish people wouldn't say that. I am really trying to feel better about myself and improve my health...". Ok maybe its a big snide, but i understand your frustration!! That's why i'm taking a more relaxed approach, however people will understand if you use it as an excuse to avoid snacks/cakes/etc. Just don't make a big thing out of it.
Yup, I started to lose weight before the engagement and now that it is noticeable I get talks like "Here's a good way not to gain it all back in married life" or "Every bride is beautiful - no need to lose weight" and I am like HELLOOO this weight loss isn't for just one day - it's so I can live to see my children get married!
Good job on your progress so far! Just an idea, could you ride out this bride thing to your favor? Since everyone is already assuming you are only trying to lose weight for the pictures, wouldn't it just be easier to use that as a convenient excuse when you turn down the cake? "Oh no I can't, I'm on the wedding diet." Skip the explaining of having a healthy lifestyle part, it only wears you out and people just don't want to hear that you are doing something they know they should be doing (except for those of us on here!!!). I feel like saying "wedding" and "weight loss" would get people to stop bugging you sooner about not taking the cake than to try and explain that you are turning down the slice of cake because you are being healthy. I'm not even engaged yet, but I have friends suspicious of me that the only reason I am trying to lose weight right now is because there maybe a wedding in my future so I understand what you're saying!
haha, orthodiva, that's what i do. It makes it easier than having to explain myself when i tell people its for the wedding (afterall!) they just let it go!
Bride to be
