South Beach Diet - Just got pushed over the edge (sorry so long)




dollyfinn
06-20-2008, 02:44 PM
I have to vent. Hope you all don't mind.

I have been exploring SB diet since I read about it in an article in Woman's World magazine this week. I am desperate to lose weight. I am 38 yrs old, just over 300lbs, and fairly miserable. I got this fat because I had an illness for many years that went undetected for the last 10 years but now I am getting better and it is time for a change.

Anyway, do any of you have a friend who is kinda always an emotional wreck? Her role is that of "basket case" and yours is the "together one"? Well, I do. Not that my friend isn't amazing. She has a great career but she is always unhappy due to not finding a man. Well, this week I have been consoling her because her ex boyfreind just got engaged to another girl after only breaking things off with her like a month ago. Obviously he had been two timing her and she is crushed. In fact, she is so upset that she is going to a match maker in her native Egypt and getting married at the end of this month just to get over the old boyfriend. A little crazy right?

Well, we were talking about all of this and she suddenly changed the subject to me having a baby (not sure why she went there, I hadn't been talking abou it). She started saying that if I would just get myself together and get my weight off I could finally have a baby. And, what was wrong with me that I haven't done that yet. That dieting is not that big of a deal so why can't I get the weight off? And, being a mother obviously wasn't that important to me it I wasn't willing to starve myself thin. (and, she thought she was being nice to me by saying all of this)

Well, coming from her that crushed me. One, because as a good friend she should know better. And, two, because I know she is only saying what probably no one else has had the courage to say to my face before. I am feeling pretty devistated and fragile since she said that to me today at 12:30pm.

So, do you all think that the South Beach Diet is easy to stick to? I am feeling rather unconfident of my ability to lose weight and keep it off at this point. Can anyone tell me about their experience and give me some hope please??

Thanks for reading this. Just having a bad, bad day.


michmich
06-20-2008, 02:52 PM
I'm sorry, dollyfinn. :hug: That was incredibly insensitive of your "friend". And what does that whole conversation have to do with the price of tea in China anyway?! I mean, really....

But, to answer your question, I've only been doing this for a week, but I can tell you I'm absolutely LOVING the diet. The foods you can eat are good AND good for you. I've read time and time and time again that "my doctor recommended it" from other members. That just reinforces for me that this is a great lifestyle change.

With the right mindset and attiude, a little planning, alot of reading and the support you can get here....it is very doable. I really think you will be pleasantly surprised.

Again, I'm sorry for your friend's rude comments. Totally uncalled for.

dollyfinn
06-20-2008, 02:58 PM
michmich, thanks!! It is good to hear how enthusiastic you are about SB,it is really encouraging.

thanks!!!


Schmoodle
06-20-2008, 03:06 PM
I have NEVER been a person that could diet and take off weight, even a little bit, and even for a little while. I mean NEVER. My weight steadily increased for 20 years even though I wished that whole time I could figure out a way to stop it and had many false starts on "diets". I still have no will power. I topped out at 245. South Beach is something you can live with and stick to. All you have to do is make a commitment to follow the plan and you don't even have to work that hard. Honestly. You need to be willing to learn some new, healthy habits, that's all. You don't have to starve, deprive yourself or any of those things I always thought I'd have to do to lose weight. I hope that gives you some hope. My plan is to take off 100 lbs. I know I will succeed eventually. I was in a big hurry when I started but I'm not any more, I know it will come off and I know I can stick with this. I'm confident it will be the same for you. I feel like if I can do it, anybody can. Now, read the book, get some groceries, make yourself a batch of egg and cheese cups and get started! And be sure to let us know how it's going for you and ask any questions that come up.

wannabnmaui
06-20-2008, 03:08 PM
dollyfinn,

Just remember who that was coming from. She certainly doesn't sound like she has room to tell you what you should be doing with your life. Let it roll off your back.

I'm not on SB, but I do know that we have to take it one day at a time. And sometimes we have to take it one moment at a time.

Keep your head up!



I have to vent. Hope you all don't mind.

I have been exploring SB diet since I read about it in an article in Woman's World magazine this week. I am desperate to lose weight. I am 38 yrs old, just over 300lbs, and fairly miserable. I got this fat because I had an illness for many years that went undetected for the last 10 years but now I am getting better and it is time for a change.

Anyway, do any of you have a friend who is kinda always an emotional wreck? Her role is that of "basket case" and yours is the "together one"? Well, I do. Not that my friend isn't amazing. She has a great career but she is always unhappy due to not finding a man. Well, this week I have been consoling her because her ex boyfreind just got engaged to another girl after only breaking things off with her like a month ago. Obviously he had been two timing her and she is crushed. In fact, she is so upset that she is going to a match maker in her native Egypt and getting married at the end of this month just to get over the old boyfriend. A little crazy right?

Well, we were talking about all of this and she suddenly changed the subject to me having a baby (not sure why she went there, I hadn't been talking abou it). She started saying that if I would just get myself together and get my weight off I could finally have a baby. And, what was wrong with me that I haven't done that yet. That dieting is not that big of a deal so why can't I get the weight off? And, being a mother obviously wasn't that important to me it I wasn't willing to starve myself thin. (and, she thought she was being nice to me by saying all of this)

Well, coming from her that crushed me. One, because as a good friend she should know better. And, two, because I know she is only saying what probably no one else has had the courage to say to my face before. I am feeling pretty devistated and fragile since she said that to me today at 12:30pm.

So, do you all think that the South Beach Diet is easy to stick to? I am feeling rather unconfident of my ability to lose weight and keep it off at this point. Can anyone tell me about their experience and give me some hope please??

Thanks for reading this. Just having a bad, bad day.

marbleflys
06-20-2008, 03:12 PM
That was an incredibly crappy thing for your friend to say to you....but you can excuse her because she is obviously not in charge of her own mind at this time, (a matchmaker? back in Eygpt? for real?).

whatever plan you decide to use, you'll succeed because you want it for yourself.

Skinny4baby
06-20-2008, 03:12 PM
:hug:I am so sorry your "friend" said these things to you. I have struggled with infertility fo five years, and I know how painful it can be. I know how it feels to "FEEL" pressured to lose weight. I have learned that first and foremost I must lose the weight for myself.

I have lost my weight basicly through "intuitive eating." Basicly waiting for TRUE hunger and stopping when you feel fullness. I use the hunger scale of 1 to 10...with a 5 being full and 6 to full. I also read the book SuperFoods RX..Fourteen Foods That Will change Your Life. Great, great book.

I hope you feel better soon...Let us know.

dollyfinn
06-20-2008, 03:22 PM
Guys, thank you all so much. You are making me feel so much better. I so appreciate the support today. Thank you for being there for me!!!!

ladybugnessa
06-20-2008, 03:30 PM
i would not call her a friend... she needed to make you feel bad so she could feel good.

as for SBD.. its' not a diet... it's a lifestyle change. 2 years ago i weighed nearly 300 pounds and i'm under 5'3"....

SBD is something you really have to commit to for life.....

Lovely
06-20-2008, 04:19 PM
First of all, I think this "friend" brought up the baby & weight things just to make herself feel better. She was trying to bring you down. Shame on her!

You need to select a plan that you feel comfortable with. That you can visualize yourself following for the long-haul. Try out SB. You may find it's something you can live with. It's all individual. You'll find the plan that works.

Extra :hug: to you on your bad day.

(Extra shame to that "friend". :mad:)

dollyfinn
06-20-2008, 04:20 PM
Thanks Nessa, I hear you on the lifestyle part. I hope I have it in me to make it a lifestyle! But, I have to try!

Faerie, thanks for the kind words!!! Yeah, I have to give this a try so I can see what happens. Better to try to make your life better than to sit around and wonder what could have been.

Thanks again everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

grneyedmustang
06-20-2008, 04:28 PM
:hug: She only put you down to make herself feel better.

As far as SBD goes, I really like it because it doesn't feel like a diet to me. My best friend did SB and lost a ton of weight and has kept it off! I am never hungry and LIKE the food that I eat. There are some habits you will need to change in order to be successful, but it can be done.

Good luck whatever you decide!

djett626
06-20-2008, 05:04 PM
dolly,

I have hypothyoridism and PCOS. I lost over 30 pounds the first time with this diet and I am a junk food junkie. I think you can do it. I truly believe my loss of weight is what caused me to have my beautiful baby girl. I was on progesterone for my PCOS, that helped. But, I felt better about myself and my body was ready.

I'm back again b/c I know it works. When I got preggers, I went nuts with the food. And now, I am in the middle of a divorce (DH had substance abuse problems) I'm an emotional eater and I lost my mind. I am struggling with staying on track, but I truly feel that the demons that I am fighting are not hunger, but emotion.

Before I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism, I can remember the mean and hurtful things that people said to me. I saw an Aunt at Walmart and she said "Wow, you've gained a LOT of weight." (Old people) That still upsets me to this day. I can remember my SIL and supposed BFF talking with one another and agreeing that I was depressed and that was the reason I weighed so much. I WAS depressed, but I also had a medical problem that caused me to be that way. Once you gain weight with thyroid problems it take work to get it off even after you have your meds right. I remember being so thrilled to find out something was wrong with me.

My supposed BFF used to do me the same way. She would insult me to make herself feel better. It sucks. I eventually closed ties with her. I'm hard enough on myself. Keep your chin up and do what is right for you! Good luck!

Ruthxxx
06-20-2008, 05:10 PM
Time to ditch toxic people!

dollyfinn
06-20-2008, 05:45 PM
RuthXXX, Djett626, grneyedmustang, and everyone,
thanks so much for sharing your stories and support with me.
When my husband got home tonight we talked about the SBD and we both are on board. Now I just have to get the book and get started. Thank you all so much for your help!!! It really helped to turn a bad day around!!!

little chick
06-20-2008, 06:44 PM
Hi Dollyfin, sending you big hugs. I hope that you are feeling better, as I agree with the others that your so called friend wanted to feel better. People like that are always going to bring you down. If you want to make a life change then you need to do it for you, and for your health and to be the person you want to be. You can do this South beach is a great way to live. And remember that you have great chick friends here who will let you vent when you need to, cry when you have too and never judge you. Believe in the journey that you want to take and with the help of your chick friends you will get there.

hmacneil6
06-20-2008, 07:57 PM
I wish you all the best, dollyfin. It sounds like you might have found the piece of the puzzle you've been looking for to get you committed to changing your life. This is a great place for ideas, support, and obviously a great place to vent. Welcome to the beach!!! May you find peace on the surf and sand!

WebRover
06-20-2008, 08:37 PM
So, do you all think that the South Beach Diet is easy to stick to? I am feeling rather unconfident of my ability to lose weight and keep it off at this point. Can anyone tell me about their experience and give me some hope please??


Yes, I find SB easy to stick to. I feel I'm focused on eating healthy foods and not on a diet where I can't have this or can't have that. Since the plan was originally intended to improve (heart) health and losing weight was a side benefit that made it popular, I'm pleased to see my health improve as I'm losing. :smug:

Make sure you read the book and understand the program. The food lists in the new book (SB Diet Supercharged) are different than the ones in the original book. The new lists are here on the SB forum. You can start right away and read the book as you go - you did say you've started researching the plan, so you're ahead of the game. We started the day my husband's doctor told him to go on South Beach. I bought the book & the ingredients for the first day's meals on my way home. Then as we/I read the book, we adapted the daily menus and recipes for our preferences within the plan.

I don't feel like I'm on a diet. I feel like I've learned how to eat and enjoy healthy food.

So let your friend's unfortunate comments be your jump start to a healthy new life. ;)

[By the way, looking at my ticker below I just wanted to make it clear that it hasn't taken me over a year on SB to lose 40 pounds - I lost 14 pounds on WW from April 9 to ?, then maintained until mid-December. I lost the other 26 pounds from mid-December to now on SB. I'm age 55 with a goal of 1/2 pound a week, which is a reasonable expectation. I'm actually averaging about .9 pounds a week on SB. When I've lost weight before I felt like it was a race. Now it's a way of life.]

dollyfinn
06-21-2008, 08:21 AM
little Chick, hmacneil6, WebRover-Thanks for the hugs and support!
I just want to thank everyone who took the time to be so kind to me yesterday!! I can't tell you what it meant to me. Did a lot of thinking last night and I really feel that I am ready to start SB and try to lose some weight. But, like many of you said, it has to be for me.
This community of woman is just amazing!! You are all so wonderful and welcoming. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you a million times for reaching out to me and lifting me up when I really needed it. Yesterday was the "final straw" for me. I could have crubled into the negative but because of all of you I was able to focus on the positive.
I just can't wait to get to know all of you better!! Have a wonderful weekend and talk to you more next week.