I manage an OB doctor's office and often my staff and I have this discussion (due to the fact that we have many pregnant girls in between 14-18 years old). So I was just curious to see what other people think:
School should teach: abstinence ONLY or abstinence PLUS safe sex? Or do you feel that this is completly the parents responsibility to teach what they want their child to know?
abstinence plus safe sex, period. if the parents want to be the sole educator of their students in this area, then they should need to write a letter to the school requesting their child be exempt from these classes (and the school should honor it).
even if they're not having sex or don't have sex until they're out of school or married, eventually they're going to need solid, factual knowledge.
Abstinance plus safe sex. No matter how much you stress abstinance, there are still going to be girls and boys who do experiment, and it's better to NOT get pregnant and get STDs.
No to be the devil here, as I am not American but I have to say my beliefs. When I was in high school back home, in Cyprus (the island), the whole class had two meetings about sex. We were advices over all means of protection, how important it was to use a condom for protection of both sexually transmitted diseases.
Yet, the most important was a talk given to us about the responsibility that comes with the sexual act. We were told that yes, it does give out pleasure, but it is also to be done because we both care and love our sexual partner. We were told that sex is primarily our repriduction method and when the woman becomes pregnant, both the man and the woman were to face the consequences. We were told how traumatic the abortion. The girls were adviced to 'do it' only if they really wanted to, not because they were pressured. And the boys were taught to insist on the condom, for their protection as well.
I don't know if you will think that such an exposition to sex was damaging but I think it wasn't. In my country we have a percentage on 3.5% of abortions and most boys and girls lose their virginity after the age of 20.
I was actually shocked to see 14 year old girls carrying prams when I arrived in the UK.
Personally (I am not a parent) I hate infusing a value judgement like "abstinence" into sex education. I say, give them the facts, clear up all the urban legends (you can't get pregnant if you're a virgin, you can't get pregnant if the guy pulls out, etc etc), show them how to safely roll down a condom (leaving a resevoir at the tip, etc) and a very honest "having a kid before you're ready can significantly **** up your life, your dreams and your goals" (not to mention the long reaching effects of sexually transmitted diseases on fertility, future relationships and even death) and call it done.
In my opinion, it isn't the role of a school official to talk about morales of "should you have sex or should you not have sex". I definitely think the fact of sex education belong in schools, to help out kids whose parents are too embarassed to give them the straight story.
abstinence plus safe sex is what I vote for. Like others have stated, you will have those percentages who are reckless enough to go ahead and have sex, with a few even dumb enough to not use birth control of any kind. I would also recommend seeing if you could bring in a few to share their experiences with the kids, like one woman who had abortion at a young age, one who chose to not have sex, etc.
Seriously, there is more to life than partying and having sex. I realize a lot of folks don't agree with that, but there is a lot more activities that you can do as a couple to have fun with than the usual. Just my 2 cents.
I agree with Glory. Abstinence, besides having a poor track record, is a value judgement and in fact, is often a religious value judgement. Kids should be given the facts only.
I almost want to believe that sex ed shouldn't be taught in schools at all... after all, when did it become the schools' responsibility to raise our children? The schools nowadays are responsible for everything -- keeping our kids abstinent, drug-free, and at a healthy weight. How did parents get themselves removed from the equation?
That being said, if sex ed hadn't been taught in school I know I myself would have had zero education on the subject since my parents never felt it was their responsibility to teach me anything (see preceding paragraph....)
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My middle school sex ed was a joke. In seventh grade they tried to teach us about abstaining from sex by using toothbrushes as a visual aid. The only thing I remember? They screwed up the toothbrush presentation big time and there was a pregnant girl sitting next to me. The sixth grade presentation didn't even mention sex. They separated the boys from the girls an explained puberty. Ninth grade covered STDs but no mention of condoms. And at this moment I think it's useful to tell you that a few years back my county had the 7th highest teen pregnancy rate per capita in the nation and 3rd for chlamydia. (Courtesy of my local health department, upon request.) My middle school and high school years were spent surrounded by pregnant girls. No good sex ed class but the high school DOES have a class for teaching about pregnancy, labor, and child care. I got accidentally put in that class for one day. I was the only girl in there who was not pregnant or didn't already have kids. And there were absolutely zero guys in there.
Ideally, it would be absolutely awesome if teenagers abstained. I don't think you should have sex until you are physically, emotionally, mentally and financially able to deal with the possible consequences. Being prepared in all these ways is absolutely impossible as a teenager. Educating kids about sex and how to avoid undesirable consequences doesn't promote sex. (Oh my... there are PLENTY of things already promoting sex to them!) It's merely damage control for those who choose to engage in it and can be a determining factor to those who choose to abstain.
There's not any debate left among credible peer reviewed journals. The facts don't lie, but my town sure does like to ignore them.
Btw, if you want to teach your kids not to have sex before marriage, by all means, go right ahead. But schools aren't there to teach morals.
Last edited by SoyLaBelleza; 04-20-2008 at 04:49 PM.
I think schools should teach the facts. This includes the FACT that abstinence is the ONLY 100% way to be safe--nothing to do with values or morals, in my opinion. It also includes the fact that some STDs can still be spread even if condoms are used. It also includes the fact that vaginal intercourse is NOT the only way to contract an STD. It also includes the fact that even if the male doesn't ejaculate inside the woman, she can still get pregnant. It includes a lot of facts that, at least in my high school, are easily overlooked.
That said, I really think parents need to talk to their kids about EVERYTHING. No matter how much the schools try to teach, the parents really need to be involved in order to teach beyond the facts--to teach the values and morals and what they, as parents, want to instill in their children as being right and wrong.
I don't think this job has been taken from the parents because it is taught in schools; rather, I think this job has been placed in schools because too many parents don't take the time and responsibility to talkto their kids the way they should.
There should tons of information about safe sex, to always use a condom, etc etc etc but nothing about abstinence. "Never do it, that's the only way to be safe" and that's all they say? Um, no. Teenagers ARE going to go at it. Especially if they're told not to do it at all, ever, because we all know teenagers usually do the opposite. They should teach them how to do it safely and keep their damned opinions/religious views out of it.
It's the parent's/guardian's job to teach their kids to wait until marriage if that's what their views are.
6th grade sex ed was ridiculous in my school. We were only taught about puberty and told to abstain. Nothing about how to use a condom, STDS, nothing at all. Come 7th and 8th grade, and I overhear all kinds of kids talking about their sex experiences. Abstinence? Yeah, Right.
My mother had two sex talks with me -- when I got my first TOM -- "you know you can get pregnant now" and my second "sex hurts and it always will" -- my "education" came from school and totally misguided friends. I think they should teach the facts and that's it -- but I think the option to "opt out" of the class for a child, parent's written consent is a good one (I think as a parent I would never chose this, but it should be provided).
I totally agree with JILLYBEAN about teaching the biological facts and safe sex issues and really total abstinence is the only thing they need to know about sex until they are mature enough to have it!
And that isn't in high school.......
I have no problem with the schools "teaching" about sex...I do have issues with "what" they teach at times....one reason why I taught my own children about sex. About morals...Christian morals.
I am so glad my children did not make the same STUPID mistakes I made in school...
without a good moral background.....
But then I was so mature...at 17....sure....sure I was....sure!
I see a lot of little girls...pushing their strollers...full of kids...home from the high school in our area each day...I suppose they were mature too! to have sex in 9th grade...or before...don't see any dads around....bummer...
Yep...I was STUPID! thought I was cool ...I was lucky...I guess...sure feel bad now about some of my past...what could have happened....
My kids...were taught better...I am glad I learned...that I taught them...
don't teach abstinence?....seriously...then why on earth teach at all?
if you think they are old enough to have sex....then I guess they are mature enough to "figure it all out".....
'cause if they aren't...then abstinence is the only thing to teach!...
but that is my opinion...and I made mistakes...of which I am not proud of, I am ashamed ....my kids...that abstained ~ before marraige ~ are not ashamed!
Should sex ed come from parents? Sure. Does it? Most of the time, **** no! Schools need to have an active role in sex ed. As a teacher, I talk with other teachers and it's frightening how little people know about sex.
I grew up in a small Texas town, and most of the parents complained about the high school teaching sex ed, and many parent of those parents yanked their precious darlings out of the class.
I'm not making this up, many of those kids ended up being parents in high school. We even had our own high school daycare ON CAMPUS. I'm sorry, but it's hard to believe parents are being responsible with their kids when you have pregnant cheerleaders in your high school.
Sorry to be cranky!! Obviously this bugs me. I took a human sexuality class in college and there were grown men in there who admitted to using DUCT TAPE and BAGGIES as "protection" during sex. Maybe if these people had been educated correctly....
Again, I am now stepping off my soapbox. I know there are many wonderful, caring parents, who do a great job education their kids about sex. I truly believe this, so please, no one yell at me, lol! I just wish there were more of these great parents.
SEX ed in school
cool 
....my kids...that abstained ~ before marraige ~ are not ashamed!
