100 lb. Club - Have you ever wondered... why food??

04-14-2008, 02:13 PM
I get in these pondering moods sometimes and my current ponderings have me wondering... why food? I am relatively successful in other areas of my life... I have a great marriage, great baby, great friends, house, successful at my job, etc. (Of course, I just started a game of peek-a-boo with my 14 month old as I am typing this. She has pasta sauce all over hands... duh. I will skip "decent mom' :D )

I would be rejected by Mensa for sure but I think I am at least relatively intelligent. Intellectually I get that I need to expend more calories than I take in. So why do I keep blowing it?

Anyone else ponder this? Anyone have any break through as to why this was true for them?

04-14-2008, 02:18 PM
I too have a very happy / successful life...other than the weight.

My father was an alcoholic. So were both my Grandma's and 1 Grandpa. It's in my gene's to have an addictive personality. My drug of choice is food. I often think that it's that simple. It's entertainment for me.

That's not an excuse, I fully plan to conquer my addiction, but that's where I think it came from.

04-14-2008, 02:20 PM
Maybe because you have other things that you have spent a great deal of energy investing in... career, spouse, family, finances, friends... it's hard to get that perfect balance to add ourselves to that mixture.

I can't imagine you are blowing it though... you have lost 52 lbs!!!! THAT is amazing! So obviously weight loss works for you too, maybe just not at the rate that you would like it to be at?

04-14-2008, 02:51 PM
My father was an alcoholic. So were both my Grandma's and 1 Grandpa. It's in my gene's to have an addictive personality. My drug of choice is food. I often think that it's that simple. It's entertainment for me.

That's me in a nutshell. I was judgmental of my father and a brother who had a drug problem for years before I figured out that I had the same problem, that I just expressed it in a different way.

Throw a little OCD on top of that and you end up with a fatapalooza.

04-14-2008, 03:13 PM
Throw a little OCD on top of that and you end up with a fatapalooza.

Now, that's ME in a nutshell.

04-14-2008, 03:37 PM
Hi hi hi! It's been a while - I've been over on the Beck thread. Which, as it happens, might be an interesting place to ponder this question. For me, we don't have any alcoholics in the family at all. We just eat. It was the center of our family growing up. Every vacation, holiday, celebration, everything was about the food. Everyone but my dad was obese. So, not much mystery there.

How are things going with you? (I should probably be PMing this...)

04-14-2008, 03:42 PM
I guess we all have our, "Why we turned to Food", story, some of us might have a slight differant story to tell, but food was always there, never judgemental, always made us feel good and never asked for anything in reply.

Of course the flip side to that is, the more you eat, the more you want to eat, :( I guess it's not so much what you are eating, but what's eating you.

I'm so glad I found this site, it's full of such great inspiration, support and the knowledge from so many, on getting healthy. That's what I'm trying to do, this time from the inside out. :grouphug:

04-14-2008, 03:50 PM
fatapalooza!!!!! hahaha i love that!!!

I'm in the same boat, food was my drug of choice. I have/had the "good girl" mentality that booze and drugs and smoking are bad so can't do any of that business, and brownies are wayyyyyyyyy more fun!!!

But if my brother can kick drugs (for more than 20 years now) i can kick brownies!

04-14-2008, 04:02 PM
Why food? -- I personally have had issues in other areas as well my entire life. Luckily I grew out of the rest of them!!

I guess I've also always had a "pleasing personality" -- my mother was a food addict so I just followed her lead. There were such control issues over food, friends, life in general when I was young that my goal was to make her happy (which I don't think ever could occur). Eating was my one comfort -- where I had "control". I know this because at 18 when I moved out on my own -- "poof" the problem was gone!! I was in charge then. However, when I met/moved in with my husband it came back.

04-14-2008, 04:04 PM
Just wanted to offer some :hug: to ya.

I don't really feel like food is an addiction to me, I just spent many years making bad choices because they tasted better.. I am a sucker for a sweet.

The only part of my life that I'm not happy with is my weight. I have horrible self confidence issues because of it.

04-14-2008, 04:11 PM
Our biological imperative to crave highsugar high fat food and store it for hungry times isn't an insignificant factor. Give our bodies 2000 years to get used to grocery stores!

04-14-2008, 04:17 PM
I truly think its just a problem with addiction for me. I used to smoke so that right there says that I have a problem with addiction. Do I truly need the food? No, I choose to have the food because I am addicted to it, rarely do I ever enjoy a meal that I have. I just love to eat and I feel that in some world I will somehow die if I don't get that food in my belly! Its ridiculous and its a battle that we will all have to conquor, I truly think that we all can! Good luck to you and everyone else, we can do it!

04-14-2008, 04:22 PM
Same here, I dont really know that I am addicted to food. My parents were both drug addicts so myself I never choose to go that route. what I will say is I am an emotional eater. When im happy, mad, sad, angry I eat. I am trying to find other place to focus that food void. I also can just eat and eat and eat. And now I dont, its been a fun change and I feel much better about myself. Granted i have only lost 13 lbs.

04-14-2008, 04:25 PM
We just eat. It was the center of our family growing up. Every vacation, holiday, celebration, everything was about the food.

That fits me, everything in our family revolved around food. I can remember events by the food I ate.:o

I also have an emotional issue with food. I turn to it when I'm stressed, when I'm really happy, when I'm bored. I think the only time I don't turn to it is when I'm sad or depressed, which thankfully doesn't happen very often.

I guess I also have some part of addiction...lol. I guess I have it all! :D The problem with food addiction is that you can't completely turn your back on it, you need to eat, and that's probably the toughest part, to learn to live with your addiction and try to modify your habits so you're not od'ing on the food.

I'm just glad I found this website, support is such a huge part of the battle that we're all in.

04-14-2008, 04:27 PM

Same thing...food was the center of everything in our house growing up. It was about the only time my parents weren't fighting! Well, not always, though...


04-14-2008, 04:54 PM
I suspect genetics (that's my story and I'm sticking to it). My family was typical, some food issues and bad habits, but fairly typical. My brother and I were adopted (different bio families). Grandma and Mom had weight issues, but adult-onset. My brother and dad had none. Both were very athletic, with huge appetities. When we were in highschool mom and dad had biokids (now in their mid to late 20's). They had no weight problems as kids. One is taking after dad with no weight issues, and the other taking after mom (though to a lesser degree) and putting on weight, and like mom, mostly in the backside.

I am the freak in the family. Scrawny until 4.5 I started putting on weight right before kindergarten. I think it started when mom would let us walk to grandma's after dinner. It was a half block away, but I remember crossing the street was a super big deal (even though an adult watched us both ways). Grandma and grandpa usually ate dinner a little later than we did, so we had the opportunity (and sometimes encouragement) to eat a second dinner. I made full use of that opportunity. My brother usually did too, but that boy has the metabolism of a hummingbird (even now, retired and disabled from the military, he's putting on a little weight, but it's distributed all over his body, and so it still it look more like muscle than fat).

The only full I have ever felt is my stomache hurting because I've eaten too much. I've always been ravenously hungry. I do have a mensa-level IQ (yep, my ACT scores, taken during the time mensa allows for them be to used as admissions criteria, qualify me for membership in Mensa. I've held on to the application for years, thinking it would be cool to be a Mensa member, but not sure why - I mean what do those people actually do). I even taught myself to read before kindergarten (according to my mother, I don't really remember it). I've always excelled and made friends easily (learned to be the clown who makes fun of herself, doing it better and funnier, to beat bullies to the punch - and laughed at their lame attempts, so they'd be less likely to try it in the future). I've succeeded in every aspect of my life, except my weight and health.

When people "blame genetics," most people consider it a lame excuse, but for me it has actually helped me conquer weight loss in a way, I've never been able to before. Before I suspected genetics, I thought I was just lazy and crazy. Realizing it could be the way I'm hardwired, it made me realize that this was going to be darned difficult to overcome, and I had to approach the problem differently. I had to celebrate successes, no matter how small, and stop beating myself up for failures and slow going. I had to look at and treat myself as I would a lab rat, to discover what works. I saw that I gained most of my weight during TOM, and unless I actively dieted, the weight would climb. Even actively dieting, it would take two weeks to lose TOM weight, and I had a one week "window of opportunity" to lose weight.

I explained this pattern to doctor after doctor, hoping some would offer a suggestion for controlling TOM hunger. Most just shrugged. Then I was put on predisone for an autoimmune disease, and it made me feel great, strong, and powerful again, the energizer bunny. It also made me ravenously hungry, on top of my normal ravenously hungry, this was not easily controlled. Getting off prednisone, finding a doctor who had a simple solution (stack my bc to shorten or avoid TOM - and low carb eating), has given me that light at the end of the tunnel.

Physically, I feel a lot different. My hunger is no longer like a schizophrenic voice in my head. I actually can go hours without thinking about food. If only I had discovered the magic combination in my 20's instead of my 40's, before I had destroyed my metabolism with crash diet after crash diet. It still isn't easy to overcome a lifetime of bad habits, "dieting" habits, like considering anything but a huge loss a failure - like indulging in carbs despite knowing they will trigger cravings and slow weight loss.

Yikes, just realize I've written my entire autobiography here. I just think there are so many factors that go into weight loss, and if we can seperate them and find out which method works best for each, we can help people sooner. Instead, we generally throw out "will power," as the reason for success, when it may not always be so. I think it's been the opposite for me. Only when I was able to find a way to elliminate the need for "white knucked, teeth grinding, 24/7 will-power" was I able to find a path through this.

04-14-2008, 05:16 PM
I think that I have a genetic predisposition to be overweight, but I think a lot of my issues with food is because of abuse and the way I was taught to eat as well.

I started binge eating when I was about 8, my parents would leave the house and I would stuff everything I could into my mouth. That is about the time when the sexual abuse began as well.

04-14-2008, 06:22 PM
That's me in a nutshell. I was judgmental of my father and a brother who had a drug problem for years before I figured out that I had the same problem, that I just expressed it in a different way.

Throw a little OCD on top of that and you end up with a fatapalooza.

OMG! That's me 150%! My mother loves her Cigarettes for 40 something years now. My dad was, and still is a huge alcoholic. My brother, and younger sister have a major drug problem, and my older sister has an addiction to cottage cheese because shes afraid of getting fat :lol::lol::lol:....Me, my addiction was cigarettes for a good 10 years, and when I stopped it became food! I always say to myself "why am I the fat one. Why me?" Don't forget though that all addictions are maintainable with hard work, courage, and will power!

04-14-2008, 07:43 PM
Food is the drug of choice. It's legal, it's not immoral, everyone joins in, it's widely available, and it's cheap (in comparison to, say, cocaine).

Throw in a genetic predisposition to weight problems, a need to comfort myself without always having the proper tools to do it well, and you have the perfect setup for a 300# person.

04-15-2008, 08:24 AM
Librarylady - I have asked myself this question so many times. I am convinced that if it weren't food...it would be something else. I am sucessful in so many areas of my life. I've been able to stop smoking (30 years ago) and let go of other unhealthy habits. But...darn it...it's the food that has a hold of me.

For me..it was food that is what I turned to in the hard times growing up - and I have to work so hard not to turn to it. Furthermore...food is a huge part of my culture and family. It's a "lethal" combination for me.

I feel sure that many of us have some of the same things in common. I am glad you asked this.

Apple Cheeks
04-15-2008, 07:57 PM
I just journaled about this today.

I recognize that fatty foods do give me momentary pleasure. They taste good, and leave me briefly feeling pretty contented. It's almost like a drug high.

Obviously, that feeling fades pretty fast, and I end up berating myself for eating junk food. It's a bit of an emotional roller-coaster when I binge on junk! Eat crap, get "high," then come down and feel lousy.

So, when I get overly tired and/or stressed out, it's small wonder that I seek out the things I know will make me feel better even if it's only for a brief few minutes.

04-15-2008, 08:11 PM
Add another chickie with an alcoholic father. Brother turned to drugs, me to food. Definitely used food to make me feel better most of my childhood. Childhood addictions are hard to break. I have done it twice, and relapsed twice. I'm older, wiser, have replaced my dependence upon food with my dependence upon God. I'm thinking that I will be successful this time around. :)

04-15-2008, 09:04 PM
I think we all have our own personal triggers as to why. For me I grew up in a house where mom would fry alot of our food. Steaks, pork chops, lamb chops not to mention french fries, potato cakes etc..... You get the idea, not alot of healthy eating by any means and of couse dessert. I grew up not knowing what healthy eating was. Mom snacked on chips and things at night so we did too. As an adult, I got away from frying food and late night snacks and I really don't like sweets but I just ate the wrong foods at meal time. Burgers fries fast food junk wings... and never ate in the mornings. After years of this it really added up. Hopefully we can get past whatever demon has caused us to become overweight and get on track to a healthier lifestyle.

04-15-2008, 09:40 PM
For me, I think it was a perfect combination.

When I was a toddler, I was a little chubby so my mother wouldn't let me eat. I remember being hungry all the time when I was in preschool and kindergarden, and that grew into a fixation about food and fear of not having anything. I'd steal and hide food. I think it must have clicked something primitive in me.

Then there was an issue of sexual abuse when I was little, which led to self loathing and an absolute dissociation with my body as a teen.

Then when I got older, it was, "Wheeee I'm free and I can eat anything I want now. My, these cheese fries taste so good, nom nom." Add in a culture of crap processed food, plus one screwed-up concept of exercise from the point of view of a gym class reject, and it just blossoms out of control.


04-15-2008, 09:43 PM
Hm. I don't think I'm addicted, although I had (have?) a severe binge eating disorder for the last 15 years. Food was never a celebration or anything with family. My mom hardly ever cooked. I was a skinny kid.

I have five great children, a couple of college degrees, a house in a nice neighborhood. So why food?

Frankly because I like it. It tastes good. It's an indulgence. I liked feeling like I could eat ANYTHING I wanted and no one could tell me no. I still was like a kid in my head, like a kid who sees boxes of candy and cakes and wants to eat them all. But I wasn't parenting myself and saying no. I was just letting the kid eat themselves into oblivion.

I like to turn to food because it feels like a friend or a lover or something. It's really comforting to me. But being encased in 100 pounds of fat is not comforting, so I had to stop.

04-15-2008, 11:28 PM
Hi I'm Lori and I turned to food when I was a child ......due to abuse. I continued to choose food for comfort and for safety as no one would want a fat girl...right! Wrong I was sexually abused as a young girl and also as a teen......so I turned to food.
As an adult with low self esteem....and still in abusive relationships (can you see a pattern here?) I continued to be drawn to my old friend FOOD...
I'm am very short woman....4ft 11 inches tall and at one point 250 pounds...

Recently I have been diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes and have other chronic illness......CFS and arthritus....
so now is the time........
I got so scared when I was told I had diabetes.......that was it.
It shook me to the core!!!
so that's my journey.............

04-16-2008, 01:26 AM
I was at the high end of normal creeping in and out of overweight for most of my life, but I thought I was (and was told I was) a great, big heifer, so I avoided exercising because I didn't want to be the fat girl running around looking sweaty and gross while people made fun of her behind her back.

Yes, I was thinking like an idiot.

Then, I went on some medication that, combined with a rough patch in my life, caused my weight to balloon. About 70 lbs in 2 years. I was so in the mindset of worrying about people making fun of me for exercising that I just said screw it. My weight continued to creep up, and I stuffed myself, because . . . Hey! I was already a great big, worthless fatso! Who cared if I gained another 10 lbs a year? Food could take the place of everything else that was missing in my sad, pathetic little life.

And, that brought me to where I was a few months ago.

How stupid I was back when I thought that 170 lbs was too far gone to recover from. A month or two working at the gym as hard as I'm working now would have set things straight. Now, I'm doing the work, and it will take longer, but it's even more worth it. I'm worth it. I'm worth it when I'm fat. I'm worth it even if my belly hangs and I have thunder thighs. I deserve to be treated well, and I need to be the one to start doing it.

I'm losing weight because I LIKE going to the gym. I LIKE putting healthier choices in my body! I LIKE that I'll be able to buy clothes that actually speak to the person I am and the person I want to be. The day when I never have to settle for some chunky, ugly-patterned shirt because there's just NOTHING else that fits me can't come too soon.

Why food? Because I HATED myself. I thought I was worthless because I was fat, but I did everything in my power to keep myself fat. Why? Self-loathing. If I got rid of the fat, what if I still hated myself? What if other people still made fun of me? What if it was me and not my fat?

I became interested in fat-positivity. Fat != ugly and disgusting. Fat != lazy. Fat != a worthless lump who doesn't deserve nice clothing. If fat wasn't any of those things, then why did I think that way about myself? And then I knew.

And then I changed.

But that's just my journey.

Sorry for the above massive rant. I'm not entirely sure where it came from, but it probably has something to do with noticing that no one in the gym stares at me. No one at all.

04-17-2008, 02:51 AM
Well I know I have a genetic predisposition to being overweight and addiction runs in both sides of my family. But why food? First because it tastes good! Also it's been scientifically proven that fat and sugar cause chemical reactions in the brain similar to some drugs. I personally have a problem with hoarding food and binge eating that stems from a childhood when food wasn't always very available. I'm working on coming to terms with the fact that as an independent adult I control when I will eat. I buy the food, it wont disappear when I leave the house. So yah, that's my why. :^: