This times a charm...
Where do I begin?...
Well, like many here, Ive struggled with my weight my entire life!
Chubby as a kid, but damn cute, my teenage years were filled with insecurity with diet after diet. Granted, I was overweight and always felt people were ridiculing me for my weight and that alone, but I was never over 160. But, someway or another I turned to what now I recognize as bulimia.
Yes, thats right, beginning in 7th grade I began to purge. It started with just overeating but led to my college years of intentional bingeing followed by routine purging. What an awful way to live! Finally at 23 I found Atkins which ended it, for 3 months! I lost 30 lbs without one single goof! But, like any other diet, it eventually left me craving and led back to the ever so familiar cycle. I had lost once again.
After years of this double life I finally confided in my Mom, who took it blindsided! She had no idea. I then went to a nutritionist and ended up gaining some 30 lbs. Up to 199, I freaked and resorted back to the old ways. At this point I had just recieved my masters degree and found a very loving and caring man. For a while, things were good in terms of food. Then we were married and inevadibly stress hit and yup, you guessed it. Of course, this double life was now hidden from my husband but also my family.
Then one day, my husband devulged a very secret and hurtful part of his past and I figured it was time to tell him. I was on WW at the time and for 2 weeks was purge free. It was as good of time as any. He finally knew and was so wonderful about it.
So here we are. Yet another try at getting fit. I really want it. I want to be healthy. I want to not look at food as good or bad. I want more than anything to have a healthy relationship with food and my body. So, any hints? I know excersise must be part of my routine. I am such a perfectionist its hard to not do things all or none! I think I have a mental block from committing to doing something about my complex!
As of today, I am 7 days free of binging. I need all the support I can get! So please, let me know what ya'll think! Thanks!!
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I'm a former anorexic who has too often been stuck in the starve/stuff cycle and I'm convinced a history of multiple diets gives people control issues. Down with diets, up with healthy eating for life!