[shrinkinglizzy]

...and my therapist is on vacation.

so, as happens frequently at the gym, i get inspired to be everything i can be while reading O magazine on the elliptical, and then go back and forth from feeling like I can take on the world to self-berating about why I'm 26 and haven't yet identified, much less realized, my dreams. Then, I get to strength training and keep all my frustrations in mind while I squeeze out one more curl, one more sit up, partly believing that I will be empowered to make some life changing decisions once I get the healthy body I want. Or something like that.

This is a pretty public forum and my picture is posted next to my name so I'm going to refrain from going into further detail, but suffice to say that I declared in another thread that by my birthday in Feb, I will have pushed myself to really re-evaluate where I am and where I'm going in life. I guess until then I should get off my own case.

If you've read this far, thanks for "listening."

Sonja

[House_of_Mirth]

While I COMPLETELY and totally relate to vacillating between feeling the elation and just general awesomeness of feeling like you can do anything and the feelings of frustration and maybe even guilt when you start to think you should be doing more I agree that you should get off your own case a little.

It's OKAY to not have identified your dreams yet...let alone realized them. You are 26! you have only lived a quarter of your life (fingers crossed). Would you reasonably expect a freshman in college to definitively declare a major? If you manage to figure it all out soon WONDERFUL! you should consider yourself very lucky but if "living your dreams doesn't actually start in the next year or next ten or 15 years that's okay too.

Now as for self evaluation and empowering yourself to make decisions that will make your life better or make you happier: those are things that should happen on an ongoing basis and I really admire you for doing that.

Why is it necessary to wait until you have a "healthy body" (if your body is in fact wholly unhealthy now) to make changing decisions? In fact wouldn't a "unhealthy" body need or benefit from those changes more than a healthy one?

Lots of signatures on the board have the saying "eat/work out for the body you WANT, not for the body you HAVE" I think a great corollary for that would be to "Live like you have the body you want, not the one you have."

It's one thing when you have a genuine physical limitation ( and I don't know if this is your case, I apologize if it is) but I think much of the time we hold ourselves back from doing things that have very little to do with our weight ( I actually wrote a post dealing with this recently, you can check my profile for it). My weight does directly prevent me from going sky diving (which I REALLY want to try). Companies wont let an obese person go up. But my weight does not actually directly prevent me from walking into a bar, my feelings and insecurities about my weight and appearance do.

Sorry for the long post. I hope it wasn't preachy.

Good luck on the introspection and happy pre-birthday!

Patsy

[shrinkinglizzy]

Thanks for the response!! I hear you about living like you have the body you want...especially when I think back to the years when I DID have the body I want NOW, but back then, thought I was too fat to (fill in the blank -- too fat to wear a skirt, etc).

Anyway, thanks again for responding. And can I guess that your 2/7 goal is in relation to your birthday?

Oh and by the way, no actualy phsyical limitations! Just psychological ones.

[House_of_Mirth]

Originally Posted by slisette

Oh and by the way, no actualy phsyical limitations! Just psychological ones.

Well thank goodness for that! It's really possible to work through psychological ones!

And no, February 7th isn't my Birthday. Its the first day of a yearly gathering the organization I work for has every year and this year I am speaking so I need every ounce of confidence I can get. I work with this organization as a volunteer now and hope to be part of the (sadly, poorly paid) staff next year so it's a big deal. Frankly, a much bigger deal than my birthday.

My Birthday (March 22) is on the Pisces /Aries cusp though...so I have the some of the same qualities (astrologically anyway) as people who were born in
February...does that count?

[lovinlifex2]

Vent away my dear that is what we are here for.

I still have those moments when I ponder how did I end up a divorced single mom of two. I think it is normal to wonder where your life is going and what the purpose is. Now you just got to grab on and figure out what you want out there are go for it.

You will find your nitch...just hang in there.