so. another issue i have been thinking alot about is the whole extra skin thing. my mom had gb and lost almost all of her weight. i am so proud of her! and she looks amazing....with her clothes on.
i don't want to seem like i am being vain here...because at 422lbs i'm not, at all. but this is starting to become a real issue for me. my mom has been married to her husband for almost 20 yrs. now. he is just happy she feels so much better. he doesn't care about the skin. i am only 24. i am a single mom. how and when do you explain to someone that you look great with your clothes on..but....
it scares me. i know i have my own issues to deal with, but i am not letting this seemingly silly fear stop me from feeling better.i am doing this 50% for my kids 40% for my health and 10% because i want to look better, i can't look any worse right? i am just wondering how some of you deal with it.
another question...i am going with the lap-band, so will it have the same effect even though the weight comes off a little slower? i chose the lb because its less risky, but was wondering if it has the same results.
like i said, i am not trying to be insensitve, i will be going through all of this soon enough...just trying to get an understanding of this particular issue. i haven't seen any recent posts on this subjuct....so.....
How long ago did your mom lose her weight? I'm just curious because I've lost my weight over the last 3.5 years and it did annoy me at first, which was actually a mental block that stopped me from losing weight for a while. I do have to say that I have loose skin but it has firmed up somewhat over the past couple years and also I am extremely happy to have a good portion of my weight off, even with the loose skin.
As for losing faster vs slower and loose skin, there is no evidence that you get more loose skin by losing faster BUT it may appear to you for a while that you have more because it takes a while for your skin to firm up if it is going to do so.
As for explaining to someone, well I had met my DH when I had lost 75 of my lbs and I told him that I had lost some weight and had some loose skin. He has never been bothered by it. It has become more prominent now but he says it doesn't seem like a lot, although it seems like a lot to me.
Basically, my advice is to cross that bridge when you get there.
I thought about this a lot when I first started my journey, and it was actually a major factor concerning my decision not to have WLS because I knew I would need reconstructive surgery, and I wanted to spare myself a surgery. From just the way my body looked before I lost the weight (HUGE upper arms, "spare tires" above and below my belly button, and a nice "ledge" above my butt). I even though since my face was so bloated, that I'd have a problem with sagging skin on my face, but luckily, I think my age worked in my favor, and I think I don't look any older than I am.
I didn't start dating until AFTER I lost the majority of my weight, and the first couple of guys knew I had lost a lot of weight, but they didn't get to see anything because we never got physical. For some reason, I don't mention it anymore to the guys I date, and the two who have actually seen my body, didn't ask why it looked that way. I'm still embarrassed by it, and I don't walk around naked in front of the guy I'm dating, but it's not so bad that I never take my clothes off around him. Most chickies on here will tell you guys really don't care, and I'm a little hesitant to completely believe that, but I'll tell you I think *most* guys will be sensitive.
And I'd to add that if guys are turned on by you enough to start taking your clothes off, why would they run out of the room when they finished the job? It's never happened to me, but I think I've read some unfortunate stories where it actually has But I like to keep that thought in my head.
You're very young so it may not even be an issue. I don't think it has anything to do with how long it takes to lose the weight. My skin is a saggy mess and it gets me down a lot - but I am healthy for the first time in years - my diabetes is gone - my sleep apnea is gone - I can buy normal clothes - I can keep up with and even outdo my kid - I get compliments and I feel excellent. I know by the time I reach my goal my skin will be even worse but I'll deal with it then - and I will NEVER go back to the person I was before. I had a bad experience with the loose skin and a man and it has thrown me into a major stall with my weight but I am fighting my way back. I will not put myself in that situation again but I am sure there are men out there who will not have a problem with it - mine wasn't one of them.
BTW - good for you for making the decision to take control of your life and your body. You have so much time ahead of you and I am SO PROUD of you (hope that doesn't sound condescending) !!!!!
Last edited by witchyonadiet; 11-21-2007 at 08:20 PM.
My skin is looser because I'm older. As young as you are and with proper exercise, you might just bounce right back. But as some of the others have said, I'll face that when I get there. At the present time, I'm in it for my health and then my looks. If I have to mortgage the house to get plastic surgery and it bothers me that badly, then I will. Otherwise, I just jiggle and enjoy knowing I'm looking better and losing.
sweets - with your youth, you DO have a better chance of reducing the sagging and bagging. but you'll probably have some. it DOES improve over time, but at a certain point, nothing but plastic surgery will help.
and that's what i'm cruising for - after i get the alzheimer's mom settled into a nursing home in the first part of the year, it'll be MY TURN and i'll finally be able to STOP LIVING ON KETOCONAZOLE CREAM! with occasional oral antifungals.
My best friend has gastric bypass surgery in Feb 2007 and has lost 137 lbs and she does not have any sagging skin( I saw her completely naked with my own eyes) I could not believe it!! so genetics play a big part. She told me her mom never had strectch marks after having 5 children. So please be encouraged everyone is different.
I think about how my skin will eventually look sometimes, but my main goal right now is getting rid of the fat. I guess I am more concerned right now with how the fat looks and how it's affecting me.
I know I will get there one day, hopefully sooner than later. I am in my 20's, unmarried, not really dating and I want kids one day. I wonder will I have to wait on some ps until after I have kids (stomach area). Hopefully, I won't need it, but realisticly I am pretty sure I will.
JMHO, but I doubt I looked all that great nekkid when I was SMO at 316. I hate my hanging skin, especially in the stomach area and will get it fixed when I reach goal. I got stretch marks going through puberty and knew that the elasticity of my skin wasn't that great so the hanging skin doesn't surprise me. I figure it is part and parcel of what I did to myself and just another thing to deal with. Given the choice of a healthier weight with hanging skin or being where I was, not much choice. FWIW, DH says the skin doesn't bother him but it's certainly possible he's lying LOL.
As for the lapband, yes you absolutely can lose the weight with it. My advice is that all WLS is a tool and it's about picking the one that fits right for you. Based on MY eating habits, mental discipline, etc. I have no doubt I'd have lost a ton of weight with RNY and then gained it back as I stretched my pouch - I am NOT good at limiting my quantity. I have good restriction with my lapband but am losing weight very slowly. Of course, I'm not the best with exercise (and I know better!) but I feel like I am living a normal life and slowly losing weight so I am very happy with my choice (this time of year NOT GAINING counts as a victory in my book). However, both the RNY and DS are good choices, it's all about what works best for you.
I'm an RN and have taken care of plenty of post-op WLS patients and am surprised at the different ways that people's skin have reacted to weightloss. Some, of all ages, have no sagging skin. Others, batwings, belly flab, saggy butts, and floppy thighs. My mother had seven kids, has two stretch marks and nice skin. I on the other had, even before WLS, have floppy underarms, flabby belly and skinny thighs and legs! I've had a floppy belly since I was in my early 20's and I only weighed 160 lbs. My sister had WLS and has a nice flat stomach and hanging boobs. So it is a matter of age, heredity, and just plain ole you. Yes, skin is a problem for me, but to me my health is more important, and WLS is giving me a chance to live my life. Your children and grandchildren don't care about hanging skin, they only care that they have you in their life. My older grandsons' tease me about my batwings, and only thing I can say to them is "Have you every had a batwing smacked up beside your head?! Just keep it up!" LOL!
JiffyPop: I'm glad to hear that you will be able to have work on your belly. I'm sorry about your mother. We had a similar experience with my FIL and he was quite happy at the nursing home. He made lots of friends and was safe and we visited him everyday. He'd been lost for so long after my MIL died and when he couldn't take care of himself any longer and we couldn't keep up; he made the decision himself. Didn't make it any less painful, but gave us some peace.
scared of extra skin
But I like to keep that thought in my head.
