I can't hold this in anymore-but is anyone in your life that is jealous or resentful of your weightloss success?? I have a co-worker who is just foaming at the mouth because of my loss. I guess I'm am getting too much attention. Have any of you experienced this?
Jan
Jan, when I was successful in the past (and unaware of sabatoge), my best friend would get that way sometimes. Just subtly, and--I'm pretty sure--almost unaware of her actions. She'd offer me chips with lunch, or suggest going out to a fast food restaurant, things I avoided completely back in the day. Looking back at it, I think it stems from a bit of childishness (we were in HS at the time).
Jealousy is ugly, but remember that you have WORKED for this. It might look "easy" from the outside, but you know how many snacks and sweets and junk you ignored, turned down, eliminated from your life to get to this point.
That woman at work---it's a shame she feels that way and can't be happy for you, but unless (until?) she makes life really hard for you, my best advice is to ignore what she says. If she says something snide, your answer can be "yes, I'm really happy my hard work and commitment has paid off, but it's hard every day" (even if it isn't; sometimes just making them feel better will shut them up).
I'm pretty sure my best friend is jealous of my success. I think I'm doing all of the things that she wants to do for herself, but isn't ready to. I quit smoking, moved out of my parents' home, paid off all my credit card debt, started exercising, have mostly conquered my depression, and lost weight. I know she's happy for me, but at the same time, she sees what she doesn't have/hasn't done in me, and I know that bugs her. Luckily, she's a very good friend to me, and she never says anything that makes me feel bad for doing these things for myself. I only update her on my progress when she asks, and that's working for us.
My MIL has had big issues with my weight loss and has made many comments that sound like a complement when it rolls off her tongue, but then it sort of smacks you in the back of the head. It bothered me for a while, a long while actually, but now I've accepted that it is just jealousy and she's going to have to get over it on her own. She's been such a jealous person the whole 20 years I've known her, I was foolish to think my weight loss would be cheered on rather than being another sticking point with her.
Hang tough, this is something you need to do for you, regardless of how childish others may behave!
I haven't dealt with any jealousy yet, but it's only because my friends are so thin to begin with! (Like, size 2's and 4's) They're happy for me. I will say that I think my sisters, who are of comparable sizes, are going to make snarky comments when I get a more significant loss going. Oh well... I live for me, not anyone else. Congrats on all of your accomplishments!
I notice that as the pounds come off, the more "food days" we seem to have at work. None of these things are healthy. I am going to have to start doing my old "trick" of being the only one to bring something healthy for a food day. My old standby is watermelon, green grapes, strawberries, pineapple. Everyone eats it, though not as fast as they all scarf the chili-cheese dip.
i have a "friend" who also does this to me... we will be at some event and the moment someone starts to talk about how good im looking ect, she will change the subject so that we can start talking about something else ... its rude.
Kinda thought I was alone there....I have to really suck it up and zip it around her or the fur would fly. (we share an office).
I am so glad that we are all doing well. It's nice to have all of you wonderful people to talk to.
Jan
I haven't experienced this DIRECTLY yet, it's been too soon, but I know that if anyone in my life will give me a hard time it would be my boyfriends mother. She is a big woman but always feels the need to make it very known that I am WAY bigger than her. She'd go through her old clothes just to give me her "fat ones" as what she would say. The thing is, I bet she is the same size as me, but squeezes into clothes that are way too small. One of the happiest days of my life will be when I can pass on my fat clothes to her. I probably would never have the guts, but it's a vision that pushes me to work out harder when I'm on the ellipitcal.
So I'm the opposite. My husband decided to lose weight after I decided to do it, and that's a great thing, but I'm going crazy with jealousy. If we eat the same things (with me eating smaller portions and including exercise), he loses weight rapidly while I gain it. And, he's eating candy bars and drinking tons of soda between meals as well while I chew my carrots. I don't want to be jealous, because I want him to be healthy, so now I feel both jealous and guillty. How do I just be happy for him and recognize that as long as I'm making progress I should be happy for me too?
As of today i have lost 46lbs !! yippee skippie !!
I have to say at work i try not to talk about it, because in the past everytime i would get weighed i would be so excited to see a lost and i came to realize it got on their nerves . Which is why i love this site i can just babble on about my weight loss and everyone is happy because they are all going through pretty much the same . My mom is happy for my loss but i think she is affraid that i may loose too much and i may get my sister jealous. she has always been the skinniest and over the last couple of years has put on maybe 1 or 2 pant sizes . that makes her maybe a 6 or 8 . since i have lost some weight she has not said 1 kind thing to me or anything about my weight loss . but that is not going to keep me from getting to where i want to be weight wise. I am doing it for me not for my family .
i hope things get resolved at the office and that your co worker can just be happy for you. and if not then too bad for her .
LaurieDawn-my hubby lost 140lbs and I was a little jealous at first-but the dr told him to get his affairs in order-yikes! Jealousy flew right out the window. He's looking mighty fine right now.
Chocco-way to go girl on your loss!!! I don't talk about it much at work either-it gets to be too political. My co-worker is attention starved and I don't think things will ever change. I just ignore her-it's too bad cuz we could've tried to lose weight together. Oh well.........
Jan
I see it sometimes in my wife Kimberley. She tries to be happy but I know it bothers her that I lose faster. My MIL is defiantly jealous of both of us. You just have to go on living your life for what is right for you. People will be that way and we can only control ourselves.
Is anyone jealous of your success??
