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Old 05-21-2007, 09:00 PM   #1  
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Hi, everyone... my name is Wendy and I'm giving it another go at this WL thing. I know I'm thingking about it the wrong way and it is taking me a while to learn that this is my life I've got to make the most of it. I've got about 80-90 (a 100 lbs if I'm really feeling froggy). That is why I'm in the 100club. I really do need to lose 100 lbs.
A little about myself. I'm married to a wonderful man for almost 10 years and have a beautiful daughter who is 3. I've been dieting off and on my whole life, but in 2005 I made the decision to really take it seriously, unfortunately that was short lived, after 6 months (right around Thanksgiving) I started gaining it all back. I loved how I felt being skinny I mean I was 2 lbs from hitting 50. Then I just spiraled backward. Then I tried Nutrisystem... I lasted a total of 11 days. The food started tasting the same. I couldn't handle it anymore. Now I'm on LAWL and am spiraling out of control again. I hate being restricted. I guess I'm scared of giving up some of my favorite foods. I'm a binge eater, what's worse is that I'm a closet binge eater. For example, at my daughter's birthday actually the day after. I went into the kitchen while everyone was in the living room, cut myself a piece of cake about 4x4 (or bigger) went into the bathroom and shoved the whole thing in my mouth, while people thought I was using the bathroom (i wasn't by the way ) I just don't know how to stop. I see sweets and I go crazy. The other day at work they had a luncheon for Mother's Day, I had 4 pieces of cake. I would make sure no one saw me go into the kitchen to get it. I didn't want them seeing me. The biggest thing is no one understands what I'm going through. I'm an emotional eater, a binge eater, an eater just the same.

So I'm going to give it one more try. I need to change my mentality but it is hard, not to think that I'm on a diet. Does that make sense?

I didn't mean to make this drag out so long. If you made it this far, thanks.
I look forward to getting to know all you wonderful and successful people.
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Old 05-21-2007, 10:06 PM   #2  
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Welcome, Wendy! So glad you're here!

Trust me when I say that I, and I'm sure many others here, know EXACTLY how you feel. I've been there! I know what it's like to shove cake in my mouth when no one is looking. It's a very scary place to be!

You will find that you've got a great group of people here who are ready to give to support, motivation, advice, and a swift kick in the rear if that's what you want! There is no judgment, here. And no one is going to drop from their chair when they here what you've done. In fact, you probably didn't think it up! hahaah I'm sure we've all done it, too!

I'm like you...restriction scares me and pushes me to binge. I've decided that nothing is "forbidden" food for me. If I'm seriously craving something I have to make a decision if I'm willing to work it into my calories or not. Generally, it isn't worth it to me to give up my filling, healthy food for something I know won't satisfy long...but sometimes it is worth it to me. Like yesterday, my husband asked me to make apple pie for his birthday. (I make the BEST apple pie...I've been asked to market them!) So, I made it for him and had a tiny slice for myself. Yep, I had to sacrifice those 280 calories from somewhere else...but for that it was worth it to me. So far, my decisions have not adversely affected my weight loss. If I get to the point where they do then I'll have to rethink my entire plan.

That's basically what this is all about, I think. Learning, tweaking, rethinking, replanning....nothing is set in stone. What works for you today may not work tomorrow. Have fun with the experimentation. Whether it takes a year or two or ten...it will be worth it in the end!

Good luck and keep posting!
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Old 05-21-2007, 10:13 PM   #3  
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Welcome! You will definitely find a home here. We all know what you are going through. Like Tricia, I try not to deprive myself either. It's a fine line of "bad" food being worth it or not. You just have to get your mind together, and the rest will follow. I look forward to getting to know you!
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Old 05-22-2007, 08:20 AM   #4  
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Wendy! You can do this....just take it one day at a time and one change at a time.
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Old 05-22-2007, 08:49 AM   #5  
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Keep reading and posting! You'll get lots of support here!
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Old 05-22-2007, 09:00 AM   #6  
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Hi Wendy,
Welcome to the group. Have you tried a food diary? I use an online food diary ( like fitday.com or thedailyplate.com), to track what I eat, maybe you need to figure out why you are overeating , when you don't want to?? I know I over eat when I am bored, angry with my husband or depressed. When I get angry or something, I try and do something else, so not to think about food. I am not on any one diet just counting calories and moving. , I hope you find the right path for you. Good luck on the weight loss and I look forward to get to knowing you better.
cheryl
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Old 05-22-2007, 10:32 AM   #7  
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and a This is the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. To me the mental part of weight loss is the hardest part. If I can get that in order everything else seems to fall into place. I too do better with a food log than restricting myself. I try to stay around 1800-2500 but this time I didn't really set a top limit on my calories and it's working pretty well. I've also been out to a *gasp* pizza buffet for lunch yesterday and had just two small slices and one large salad and that was it. I didn't feel deprived in the least. If I do start to crave some of the old foods, I sit on it a day and if I'm still craving it, will plan the calories into my day. I'm like a few others on here and think of my calories like money. Yes I can "spend" 220 calories on a candy bar but how long is that going to last me? Sometimes though it may be worth the cost of it.
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Old 05-22-2007, 11:56 AM   #8  
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Hi and welcome. I too was a closet binger. People used to say to me all the time, "I don't understand, you don't even eat that much." Yeah, right.

We all have to find the right method that works for us. I was not going to be satisfied following someone else's plan for life, so I've made up my own. We need to pinpoint our weaknesses and then do our best to combat them. I personally needed to totally and completely get rid of and yes, restrict all the foods that I loved. I just didn't have the self discipline to have them around. I was not satisfied with a measly 1/2 cup of say rice. So I had to initially do completely without the bread, pizza, cakes, cookies, pasta, ice cream and all. I knew that eventually I would be able to add them back in tiny portions and I have - once in a while. Because funny enough when I did get rid of them completely, after about 3 weeks or so, I hardly even wanted them. I have truly come to love the healthy foods that I eat.

Good luck in finding your "method". It does take some trial and error, but when you get it right, and you will - it is so incredibly worth it.
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