General chatter - Rant about online people -- no one here!!!
05-08-2007, 05:54 PM
For the last few years I have belong to many online sites -- some support -- some for fun and lately for weight loss. Last year I googled a different site and soon found a lovely group of people. One person started to become quite the drama queen -- without going into great detail lets just say I decided for my sanity to quietly remove myself from her life the easiest way possible. One of my other dear dear online friends wasn't able to extracate herself. About a month ago she sent me a message that this person (the drama queen) had passed away. Of course my inital reaction was sorrow and fear that it was suicide (she had said she was diagnosed as bi-polar). I was widowed myself several years ago so I was initially upset for her surviving family members. As the day progressed and more information came out I began to doubt that the news of her death was real.
Quite honestly I hadn't given too much thought about it over the last month. A few things happened a new person arrived at the website and there was an air of familiarity about her. I cautioned my other friend to just watch what she says. Sure enough proof was found online today that this person had faked her death. She is alive and well and selling products online. I have met a few fakes in my online adventures but nothing as sad and sick as faking your own death.
I guess in reading this it isn't a rant as much as a vent. You can understand why I cannot do this on the other site but I wondered if anyone here has had that sort of experience. I know when we go online we can be anything to anyone but this takes the cake (ooops shouldn't say that on a diet site).
05-08-2007, 06:21 PM
I actually experienced EXACTLY the same thing on a teaching support site I used to frequent. I was utterly shocked - not by the lies (on the Internet, I take EVERYTHING with a HUGE bowl of salt!) but by the very nature of the manipulation of the very real emotions of very real people who believed this man had 'died'.
I never went back.
But I am grateful not to know him in real life, for sure.
Hang in there, for your dear friend if not for yourself :hug:
05-08-2007, 10:32 PM
I definitely am familiar with liars on the internet. Mostly through chat rooms though. I will say I've met several people in person who I first met online- including my husband.. and almost all of the people I've known have been great and true to their real life selves... but there are people out there who find it all a game... and you never know which one is which.
I finally just decided not to get too invested in anyone I meet online- and to take everything, as said before, with a huge bowl of salt.
05-08-2007, 11:37 PM
Yup. Posted on a writer's forum for years and we had our share of those. She's not a "drama queen". She's a troll. Plain and simple. They LOVE to get a board fired up, they love being the center of attention, and they love making stuff up. Then...they love coming back under new or multiple handles and pretending to be someone else and/or pat their own selves on the back. Its people who have way too much time on their hands or they just find something so strange to be somehow amusing.
05-08-2007, 11:45 PM
JOANNE I am so sorry you had to experience that! You expect people to be honest for the most part, maybe a little B.S. to livin a story up from time to time, but that was un-called for. She certainly needs help.
P.S. I have been known to "fake" my own sanity from time to time! ;)
05-09-2007, 05:18 AM
I know exactly how you feel. I'm a member of a board for moms, and recently one of the moms turned out to be a troll. Luckily, she was found out by some of the other moms who did a little investigating on their own. It's awful of people to prey on others like that.
05-09-2007, 09:49 AM
Hmmm...I also witnessed similar behavior on a writers' board. "Someone" got their feelings hurt by a critique and a few days later a "friend" said she had committed suicide. THere was a fake myspace page and also donations were requested in her memory for a live-in rehab place that she had stayed at. Only problem: the rehab place is for men only. After being busted, the perp 'fessed up" "Doing research for my writing"....yeah, sure....
There are some sick puppies in this world.
I find that the number of troll-posts are inversely proportioned to the number of active moderators and one of the (many!) reasons I love 3FC is our lovely mods.
05-09-2007, 09:55 AM
Have I mentioned how cool everyone here is??? (BIG GRIN) While I haven't run into characters like you guys describe, I have no doubt they exist! That's why I appreciate everyone here. Weight loss and the issues that surround it are challenging enough without people playing games.
Take care, all.
05-09-2007, 02:13 PM
Its amazing that people can do this. I am fairly new to 3FC but there seems to be total support and (hopefully) lack of drama. I have witnessed some real crap and been a victim myself. It could have been worse but I knew it was all lies so I couldn't get too upset -- another pathetic human. As long as we don't get too jaded but always realize in the back of our minds that things may not be what the seem.
Lizziness I am also happily engaged to a wonderful man I met online -- and several of my closest friends on this planet started as online friends but I have met them in real time and love them even more.
Yes, I've experienced this sort of thing, many times over. And eventually you just become numb. Nothing phases me anymore. Not on the internet, anyway.
Just think of these people as very sad and lonely individuals and let it pass.
05-10-2007, 07:24 AM
Oh my gawd, I've experienced exactly the same thing. It was years ago when I first started getting online and was stupid enough to believe people were genuine. This woman faked her death and then returned to the forums with a new identity (as a famous person, no less, who was a friend of the "deceased") and started a memorial thread so she could hear good things about herself. Oh yeah, there was a famous boyfriend in there too, both posting from the same URL as the dead girl. So sick and sad but at least it taught me a valuable lesson.
05-10-2007, 10:59 AM
I posted on a band's discussion board for a while. No fake deaths, but one man and woman ended up meeting for coffee or something. Turns out she was married, and after he tried to end things, she basically ended up stalking him. Of course, this became the focal point of some lively discussions on the board, as he outed her for her behaviour.
I think one of the things that keeps that crap to a minimum here is that the mods are very quick (err on the side of caution!) to shut down any thread that looks like it may be heading in a negative direction. That's why this is always such a happy, supportive place!
05-11-2007, 06:05 PM
Derrrr, I said the same URL and I meant ISP. Sorry about that!
05-11-2007, 06:36 PM
Using the same ISP is how I outed one idiot that was really lame (long ugly story). Janie I can't even express what a wonderful site this is here -- seems to be full of so many nice people. Quite honestly though this person didn't do anything whatsoever on the site. I don't think there was any indication that she was such a sick person -- I just had a gut feeling about her during some personal chats -- and I certainly wouldn't say anything to anyone else about it.
Now here is the question -- would you let the people (site admins) know what you found out? We told one admin but we have no idea if anyone else was told. I find it awful that her death notice is sitting there with all these platitudes -- I want to just out her but I hesitate. Oh well.
05-11-2007, 06:55 PM
OMG, this is quite interesting! I belong to two other boards and have never run across anyone quite like that. The only thing close to it was when I noticed a post from a user on one forum and an identical post here. Turns out it was spam and she was trying to get information or trying to sell something covertly. It's been a while, so I don't remember it too well. The mods here ended up closing the thread because of my comparisons between the two forums.
On a similar note, DH and I are poised to go and meet a bunch of other people from one of the other forums (one for Labrador owners). We're all meeting on a beach in So Cal. Hope it'll be fun!
05-11-2007, 08:09 PM
I met my hubby on a chat forum (just a general one, can't even remember how I found it) just over 9 years ago and it took a lot of emails, chatting, phone calls, letter, photos etc, before he came over here from Canada for a holiday that October and we haven't been apart since. We are coming up to our 7th anniversary in June. On that same forum there was a girl who ALWAYS had something incredible happening in her life. The last time I bothered 'listening' to her was when she was supposedly sitting in a hospital bed, typing messages to us, just an hour or so after miscarrying her twins. She was talking quite normally and didn't mention anything about the pregnancy after that. No matter what the reason for this unusual behaviour, she needed help. On another board, for teachers, there was another lady who constantly had 'dramas' happening in her life, but after she left the board (although people say she is still visiting under different names) people said that they had met her and read about her in online newspapers and she was a 'real' person and very nice. So, I'm still not sure about that one.
I have met some people from that teaching site on a trip to the US and they were fantastic people. I guess you just have to sort out the good from the bad, just as you do in real life.
05-12-2007, 10:55 PM
Allison, hubby and I met up with a group from the writer's forum we used to post on and had a great time. In fact, one from that group is our best friend, even though none of us no longer visit that board...too many trolls, and the fake death. The only real thing that died was the board. ::sigh::
05-13-2007, 03:35 PM
A note to that lady over on that other board:
We all know you really haven't been through all you say you've been through, you never get your stories straight. It's so nice to know that the dead hubby you mourned last month is now getting a really great promotion! And that all your children are pregnant, miscarrying, addicted to drugs, graduating Harvard, marrying into royalty, etc...especially since they were all killed in various car accidents over the years leaving you all alone in the world.
But for cryin' out loud, DO NOT use it all as an excuse to peddle your crappy cosmetics business to us! Yeah, I'll be giving you a board vacation again for soliciting today.
05-16-2007, 02:19 AM
I've been on a dozen boards (moderator on some) and never had a resurrection. That does take the cake. There are lots of crazies for sure.
But the craziest person in my life was actually a very good friend who, after she was widowed, turned into the crazy cat lady. Eventually she had over 40 cats in the house and, when they came to clear her out, they learned she had her dead cats in the chest freezer.
After that, not much surprises me.