Weight Loss Support - Do any of you think it's just not going to happen?

02-16-2007, 06:53 PM
I'm looking at all the weight I have to lose. Granted, it is not anywhere NEAR what some of you wonderful people have to lose or have done.

I can't look at the overall picture. It's too overwhelming for me. I just keep telling myself that I have to lose 5 lbs.

Even with that, sometimes it seems like those 5 lbs won't go away so I can greet their cousins (5 #).

At least I'm starting to get a little support at home. I think it really hit him hard when I told him that since I succeeded in giving up beef for Lent last year, this year I'm putting a bigger challenge on myself and giving up anything that walks on 4 legs. (I love hot and sour soup and won't be able to have it because it's partially made with pork :( ) I told him that I would be fixing separate meals for myself and he was welcomed to join me if he wished. I will be menu planning for the week just as we do now, but only for me. I think we'll be sharing the salads and veggies, but not the rest of it unless he wants more seafood.

But still, making those lbs go away is hard sometimes. Hopefully the trampoline place that I posted about in the exercise section will be something that will help as well as being fun for the 2 of us.

02-16-2007, 07:02 PM
I constantly think (briefly :dizzy: ) this won't happen, but then I think of what will happen if I give up -- I'll continue to gain weight and feel more hopeless, tired, depressed, etc. I'm going at it 10 pounds at a time, making little changes gradually and working on my exercise, binging, etc. And, like you, I keep looking at all the people on here who have done it, and more importantly the ones who have lost at least 2x as much as I want/need to and that's where I find my support.

Could you get your husband to eat what you do maybe two or three nights a week? I know something like that would make it easier for me than if he always got to eat something different than me. Besides, it would be so much healthier for him too!!

02-16-2007, 07:17 PM
I know it's going to happen.. I've come so far, and I'm not giving up now.

Are you getting enough protein? Sometimes it's hard to feel like you can't do something, if you're unhappy about doing it. Hungryness = unhappyness. At least in my opinion. I get grouchy when I'm hungry, lol.

You can do this! It's hard, but we're all here for you, we all believe in you.

Maybe it would help if you put up a ticker in your signature... just one that has 5 lbs on it, so that way you can see how close you are.

Also, putting up a smiley face or something for every 5 lbs lost is also a great motivator.

02-16-2007, 07:59 PM
oh yeah, at some level I dont believe in it. But then I think I dont need faith to keep on doing.

02-16-2007, 08:14 PM
I think we all feel that way from time to time. I know I have. Days like that are not easy, but that is when you should take the time and remind yourself why you are doing it, and who you are doing it for (you!!) and tell yourself that though it may be slow in coming, the end result will be worth it.

02-16-2007, 08:29 PM
I don't think I have felt that way this time. I knew I HAD to lose weight, and I decided that I would lose weight some how or another. I had decided that if I didn't lose, I would just keep trying until something worked. Once I started losing, it was easier to know that I could do it.

02-16-2007, 08:50 PM
Tammy, you are GREAT!!! Look at how much progress you have made!!

:cheer2: :cheer2: :cheer2: :cheer2:

cbmare, I'm not sure what your goal is. Is it to lose weight or to become a vegetarian? You could do both, I guess, but it's like trying to do two hard things at once...

Yeah, I've been on this road since 2004, and I started and stopped and backed up and started again, etc. etc. Sometimes it seemed like it was impossible. But thinking that way does not help! In fact, it may throw a wrench in the works. This time I am following a plan, tracking what I do, and it IS working. And it will KEEP ON working as long as I keep up with my part of it.

You CAN do it! You CAN! YESSS!!! Keep going! :carrot: :carrot: :carrot:


02-16-2007, 08:55 PM
I don't allow myself to think it's not going to happen. It will, period. Just like quitting smoking or finishing college, some things just must be.

02-16-2007, 09:02 PM
I thought that at first, maybe even for the first 50 pounds, because I've lost that much before and gained it all back plus some. I knew something "clicked" this time, but something has clicked before and then it just sort of turned off. I was really afraid that would happen this time too. I was like "well, here I go again...we'll see how long it lasts." The 110 pounds I needed to lose was incredibly daunting, but I just went for it. I'm 71 pounds in now, and I never really doubt it anymore. My life has changed. I'm a runner now (a novice, but still). I'm getting so close to my goal, and it really feels like it's just a matter of time. It took me a while to get to the point where I don't question it, and I suppose it could change (people gain back weight all the time, after all), but it just feels right this time.

GR8 2B48
02-16-2007, 09:34 PM
When I look at the big picture, I sometimes get discouraged because it seems I have so far to go. I'm about 1/3 of the way there, but then I look at the fact that I've lost 40 lbs. and that's enough to keep me going. We all will get where we need to be.


02-16-2007, 09:42 PM
When I first started trying to lose this weight, I had doubts if I could do it or not. With each lb . that came off the more sure I became that indeed I could do it. You can do it too. It takes persistence and drive but it's worth every bit of the hard work. I'm now 7 1/2 months of maintenance and still there are days that I can't believe i made it to goal, but I did. Good luck and I also just looked at it as having 10 lbs. to lose instead of the overall picture because 90 lbs. was very daunting.

02-16-2007, 10:06 PM
I definitely felt that way in the beginning. We had just joined a gym and I was so convinced I couldn't lose weight that I didn't even list it as one of my goals on the membership form. I just said I wanted to get healthier. But the staff at the gym just assumed I wanted to lose weight and they were so confident that I could. It really made me think about it. I remember sitting on the sofa with my SO later that night asking him if he thought it really would be possible for me to lose weight and actually feel good about the way I looked. I don't think I'd been happy with my weight since I was in grade school (or maybe the early junior high years, but I know by the time I hit 8th grade I was already trying to find clothes that disguised my shape). I simply could not imagine what it would feel like to look in the mirror and like what I see there.

But it turns out that it really is possible. And, at least for me, I didn't even have to give up meat; in fact, I think I eat more meat now than I did before. Lean protein is good for weight loss and I find that I actually like it more now. All I had to do was carefully monitor and limit my calories (which also meant cutting out high-fat foods, high-sugar foods, a lot of pasta, and a lot of baked goods). Add regular exercise to that, and the pounds started to come of; quite predictably even, until I got within 10 lbs of my goal weight.

02-17-2007, 05:26 AM
cbmare, I just noticed you have no ticker or stats under your name. Could you give us an idea as to where you are and where you want to be?

To tell you the truth when I started on this venture I had no doubt in my mind that I would do this. I had finally made the decision to lose the weight and not be fat. I finally figured out that my weight IS something I have control over and therefore I can change it. I also kind of looked at is a life or death/now or never situation due to my very high weight. The more I get into the new lifestyle, the stronger I feel about it. My determination keeps on increasing.

Now since I started out so much higher then most, again cbmare I haven't a clue as to where you are, I don't know exactly how close to my actual goal I can get. In fact I just raised my goal by 10 lbs because I was wondering if I could really and truly get to 125. Maybe I can, maybe I can't. So I just raised it to 135 because I think it is more obtainable then the 125.

But I'm doing this. I'm taking it all the way home. It's GOING to happen.

02-17-2007, 09:00 AM
I've been ruminating on this post for a while this morning (a bad sign because that means I'm gonna type something long and wandering).

My first thought is probably semantics ... it's not gonna happen, you have to do it.

Secondly, you need your husband's support less than you think. Go ahead and make dinner. Meat, potatos, vegetable, salad. Let them eat! You skip the potatos and have low fat dressing. You don't have to cook seperate meals.

I, too, would like to know how it's going for you. Are you talking about the first five pounds or the next five pounds? It definitely makes a difference.

If it's the next five ... you've done it once, you can do it again.

If it's the first ... stick with us honey, we'll help you. Tell us everything you eat and do on a typical day ... we'll tweak it.

02-17-2007, 10:39 AM
Hey MARE ~ I would suggest finding a way to "ease" your husband into the eating/meals routine you would like both of you to have.

When Angie and I got together, 12+ years ago, one of the biggest differences between us was our eating habits. I had been a divorced parent for about 6 years, now my ex-wife and I had the kids 50/50 but I saw them every day and usually was the one to get them fed. My kids were involved year round in sports, scouts, dance and church activities. It was all I could do sometimes to just get them fed between games and practices. Of course STUPID-STUPID me did a lot of the :burger: :jeno: :mcd: fast food thing OR when I could cook fed them high fat meals. Now in my defense people are not generally heavy in my family (other than medical reasons) so I was not used to "healthy" meals being a priority. My ex-wife, who was thin also, and I have our roots from the mid-west. So, we had a lot of :moo: hamburger dishes and casseroles, etc.

When I met Angie I had no idea someone could eat chicken :chicken: NOT FRIED! Not only that, but to live in a house that didn't have a pantry full of chips, cookies, ding dongs, etc. I remember the first time Angie made me dinner, my plate had this chicken piece on it that was WHITE with nothing on it! some brown stuff (I learned later was brown rice) and some broccoli without any :cheese: cheesy stuff on it! I was like WHAT! the :fr: is this? AND "WHERE IS THE REST OF MY FOOD!?"

I won't bother you anymore with details, but as the years went on and she progressed me into "her style" using :witch: :stir: "her tricks" I adapted and not only learned to eat that STUFF but how to cook it. When Angie and I met my kids were about 12 and 9...used to junk...several years later they would come in from school asking "who's cooking dinner?" if I said Angie, they would be :dance: :carrot: :dance: "YES! chicken, rice and veggies!"

MARE, just use your magic tricks on the 'ol man ;) and I suggest throwing away the scale for awhile and just FOCUSING on the eating/exercise plan that you have in mind ~ focus not so much on lost weight but the lifestyle change you are about to make ~ GET EXCITED about doing GOOD things for yourself!

You KNOW where your strenth comes from...this is a great time of year to focus in that direction.;)

02-17-2007, 11:42 AM
You know, when I started, I don't even think I could THINK about whether I could do it or not. I just did it. I mean, I knew what should work: eating less and moving more. I trusted in this. I made the changes and committed to the process. Along the way I certainly had my doubts, but I knew that the process worked, as long as I worked the process. I didn't starve myself. I didn't rush myself. I didn't expect perfection. I started slowly and kept tweaking.

Now I can't believe I actually LOST over 100 pounds sometimes! :D

02-17-2007, 11:49 AM
I heard something on the radio last night that was sort of germane to this conversation, it was on Dr. Oz's show on the Oprah network on XM. He was speaking to someone who had written a book about getting into shape. I think it was the person who wrote you: exercising or something like that. The trainer said that the difference between his clients who do get into shape and those who give up on their programs is the level of deservedness that they feel. Essentially, you either feel like you deserve to be in good health and you pursue it despite setbacks and obstacles or you don't feel like you're worthy of it for whatever reason.

It resonated with me when I heard it because just Thursday I was feeling pretty down and was thinking what's the point of it all anyway? But everyone deserves to feel good about themselves.

Possibly you could make your meals on the weekends and freeze them so that you're ready to go on the weekdays.

Happy Apple
02-17-2007, 11:50 AM
I don't allow myself to think it's not going to happen. It will, period. Just like quitting smoking or finishing college, some things just must be.

Boy, does this strike home with me - "...some things just must be." Having that change of point of view has really helped me this go round. I stopped asking myself why and wondering if and just got on with the business of doing it. For me, the less time I spend thinking about doing it the better, lol! I have to spend my thoughts on the mechanics of doing it (new recipes, planning meals, figuring out exercise times, etc.) instead of the more philosophical stuff.

It sounds like you're already on your way and know what you want to do. You've gotten all sorts of wonderful advice here, I don't think there's much I can add except to say "Go Team!"

Stay strong - you CAN do this!

02-17-2007, 08:28 PM
First, I want to thank each and every one of you for your words. Some of them have made me cry, which isn't hard to do. I've always been a crier.

Oh, God, I hope I don't get flamed for my next comments.

Now, you are not going to believe this. I'm embarrassed to put up my fitday, anything under my name or a ticker. I just don't want to feel like a failure if those numbers don't change. I'm not asking for a lot of loss per week. I want 1-2 lbs/wk. I feel that is the safe way to lose weight. I don't know why I'm embarrassed. Look at Tammy and some of the rest of you. I only have about 70 lbs to lose. Give me a few days to steel up my nerves.

I'm not considering becoming a vegetarian. I'm too much of a carnivore. I'm giving up anything on 4 legs for Lent. It's a personal challenge of inner strength for me. Giving up beef wasn't easy last year but I did it and I've kept it limited to no more than 2 times per week since then.

Gary, you are amazing. I gave up brown rice and certain foods when we got together in the 80s. He didn't like them. I also tried to tolerate Italian food because he loves it. I finally put my foot down last year and told him to eat all that yucky raw (al dente) pasta he wants. I'll fix something else for myself. If we go to an Italian restaurant, I request what I want, usually some sort of seafood, with no pasta, risotto or polenta. They look at me funny, but I tell them they won't be wasting food because I won't eat it. You'd think they'd lower the bill. LOL.

Again, thank you for all the support. I'm going to go ride my bike for about a half hour while it's still light and an absolutely gorgeous day for a change.

02-17-2007, 09:20 PM
When it comes to cooking, in a way, I lucked out. I am the cook, he is the dishwasher. If he doesn't like what I cook, then unless he wants to cook, it pretty much sucks to be him. *shrug* I fix healthy, nutritious meals for my family. Thankfully, Matt is on board with this as well and being part Asian, he could eat rice and fish all day long and not care. He's not particularly fond of brown rice, but he still eats it. Occasionally, he'll ask for an old Sunday dinner, fried chicken, mashed potatos and gravy etc, "If you can fix it, you can eat it", pretty much quells that discussion. I am on the lookout for an oven baked healthier version of fried chicken, but he doesn't know that.

I think for me, it was trying to chase my then 2 yr old around the park. Crap that winded me. I hated it! My son was only 8 months old and it was hard to keep up with him and my 2 yr old daughter, I was just tired all the time. I didn't make a concious decision to lose weight, just to eat healthier. Some days I was on the ball, some days I was out in left field. But, I kept plugging away at it, before I knew it, I was on the phone with Matt, trying on shorts this past summer and was down 2 sizes. I dropped the fone in the Cato's dressing room, slid to the floor and cried. For an HOUR. Salesgirls were worried, the Manager was asking if I needed to fill out an accident report. I had somehow managed to drop 2 sizes, without even really trying. I know it's not what alot of people want to hear, but by simply making healthier decisions, I had lost weight. By doing more with my kids, I had lost inches. I hadn't at that point, given up fast food, my kids and I had 2 weekly dates, Friday afternoon for lunch, considering their ages, BK it was. I still got them a big kids meal to split, but instead of the crispy fried chicken sandwich, king sized "So the kids had enough fries" *eyeroll*, I got the side salad and a piece of broiled chicken parts mashed together in a patty shape. A saturday morning breakfast date at Huddle House, usually involving waffles, hasbrowns all the way etc etc, I got the kids a breakfast to share, and started having a side of grits, with splenda and a side of scrambled eggs. Amazing how those little changes helped so much.

I think if the numbers are daunting, and well, face it, when someone see's they have 30, 40, 50, 75, 100 pounds to lose, that is not just daunting, it's easier to stay fat. It's comfortable, to stay fat. For me, making decisions to eat healthier and move more, meant admitting I had a problem. Not just to myself. I share a house with another adult who would have been suprised to see all the crap food go out the door, had I not first shared what I was doing, and why. We did a sit down, heart to heart. There was no ability to "suprise" him with my sudden weight loss and more sexy self. He would have noticed when I started weighing my food and measuring portions. I had to tell him, <yeah, like HE didn't notice I was fat, lol>, that "Hi, my name is Angi, and I have a problem...", filling him in on how I felt about myself, my future, even my ability to be a good partner to him and mother to my kids. I felt that I was abusing my own kids and family, by feeding them unhealthy food, I was neglecting them by being unable to care for them. By being unable to play with my kids, in my mind, I was neglecting them and giving them childhood memories of a mom, firmly rooted to the couch. That's not what I want for my kids. So for me, it started with tears and it'll end in tears, when I see that scale say <insert whatever> here, or when I can run 5 miles without gasping for breath and feeling like I'm being force marched to a gas chamber. Someone replied with "It doesn't just happen, you make it happen" and she's right. I didn't intend to get fat, but I do intend to get healthier.

02-17-2007, 09:24 PM
Hey MARE no I am not amazing...but you gals are!

Angie is half Italian but we don't over do the pasta here. We do try the whole wheat from time to time but we always go pack to white. We love Italian food and go out maybe once a month at least for it. Of course I go "heavy" but Angie always orders light and always brings home her doggie back for lunch the nest day.

Speaking of POLENTA did you see the story in the FOOD section under the Italian Magazine thread about Angie's family? That is her dad in the picture as a baby. Look for the post from Suzanne.

02-17-2007, 09:28 PM
mare -- you don't have to worry about being embarrassed to put your numbers up. I remember the thinking before I posted mine -- could I really post that to these people?? We get it. And if you don't want to post, don't! (though it's harder to give targeted advice sometimes! :) )

One little thing: 1-2 pounds a week for a target is great, but just remember that weight loss isn't linear. You won't always lose what you think you should! It's just one of the many tests you get along the way! I think most of all, you have to have patience when you have a lot to lose. And you have to know that not everyday is going to be perfect, and that's okay too. I lost 100 pounds in 55 weeks and still occasionally had pizza, and chocolate, etc. Just not a lot! You can lose weight and still indulge occasionally.

02-17-2007, 09:29 PM
Now, you are not going to believe this. I'm embarrassed to put up my fitday, anything under my name or a ticker. I just don't want to feel like a failure if those numbers don't change. I'm not asking for a lot of loss per week. I want 1-2 lbs/wk. I feel that is the safe way to lose weight. I don't know why I'm embarrassed. Look at Tammy and some of the rest of you. I only have about 70 lbs to lose. Give me a few days to steel up my nerves.

I'm familiar with this emotion ;) . When I first started, I didn't tell anyone what I was trying to do, other than my SO (and only because I had to--he would have wondered where I was going every day when I went to the gym and why I was coming home all sweaty, plus all the food measuring would have been hard to hide). I have a huge fear of failure, especially public failure, and I was so afraid I wouldn't be able to lose weight that I was too afraid to tell any of my friends :o . I wasn't until a couple of months in that I had the courage to tell anyone and even then it was just a couple of very close friends. I didn't find 3FC until well into my program, so I by the time I created a profile, I was pretty close to my goal.

02-17-2007, 09:59 PM
mare I must tell you when I first signed onto 3FC back in September just a little over a week into my journey my numbers were pretty darn frightening. I was in fact frightened. Even here at 3FC there were not too many people with numbers quite as scary as mine, I am only 5 feet tall. But I kind of decided right there and then to be up front and honest with people, well probably myself more then people. It's funny though because you guys here are the only ones who know my numbers. Except for my doctors. My husband, children, mother, kids, best friends - NOBODY knows what I weigh. They don't know what I did weigh, they don't know what I weigh now. I haven't lied to any of them and I never will, I just tell them that I'm not ready to speak about it yet. I don't know if I will ever, ever be able to fess up to weighing 287 lbs. It was kind of freeing to me to be able to be open and honest and forthcoming about my weight here at 3fc. Almost like a huge burden was lifted. I was acknowledging the fact that I had an enormous amount of weight to lose. And that I could use help in doing so. I don't think I would have gotten some of the great advice that I received if the folks here did not know my real numbers. And I don't think people would have taken me as seriously as well. We can't change what we don't acknowledge. So acknowledging it here on cyberspace was perfect, for me that is. We all have to do what we think is best for ourselves. I think part of the beauty of 3FC is that we all have a common bond, wanting to lose weight and live a healthier lifestyle, whether it's 20, 30, 50, 70, 100 or as in my case over 150lbs to lose. We all face the same struggles day in and day out.

Although I had an enormous amount of weight to lose, still got QUITE a bit to lose I really tried to not focus on the amount of weightloss per week. I just focused on eating healthy foods in healthy sized portions and adding movement, activity and exercise to my life. I knew if I did those things the pounds would come off. And they have. You start chipping away at those big numbers one tiny lb. at a time and before you know it they're less and less pounds to chip away at.

Another thing I'd like to point out is, that you don't have to wait to you get all the way to goal to start seeing and reaping the benefits. You will see benefits and life improvements in every area way, way before goal.

I've lost over 90 lbs so far and like Wyllen, I DO eat the occasional slice of pizza, piece of chocolate and so on. Just not a lot. There is definitely room for an indulgence every now and then. I do find the more I get into this lifestyle, the less I want it though, well except for the pizza. I do love pizza, but I love me more and I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE my new lifestyle. I wouldn't go back to my old ways for any money or anything in the world. In fact without a doubt, I enjoy my food soooo much more now then I used to. I used to eat without thinking, so nothing had any importance to me and now that I think about it, I really wasn't enjoying any of it. Kind of like a spoiled kid with too many toys. He has so much that he appreciates NOTHING. Well now I savior and enjoy every morsel that goes into my mouth. Every bite of vegetable, every bite of chicken breast, every spoonful of fat free yogurt. I even love my Fiber One cereal in the mornings. Who would have thunk it?

02-17-2007, 10:27 PM
Hi Mare!

You've gotten wonderful advice from so many already, but I just wanted to add something...

Have you ever tried on a piece of clothing and found it FIT when maybe just a month before it didn't? Do you remember how pleased you felt? Well, it sounds like you need to create little rewards for yourself so that you can have opportunities to PRAISE yourself rather than feel sad that you somehow just aren't meeting the grade.

Feeling good about yourself is all about the little things that combine together to produce a BIG FEELING of satisfaction and pride.

Before you know it those tight jeans will be too baggy to wear. You will be losing inches which make you fit into smaller sizes. Each success will spur you on to more successes.

You can do this, and we are right there with you!


02-17-2007, 11:17 PM
cbmare--that story about the lost 2 sizes--that's when you knew you could do it, wasn't it? Wow... What a breakthrough! No wonder you cried. I think everyone would like to hear about that--you increased your activity and you ate healthier, and there you were! Wow!!! :hug:


02-18-2007, 10:28 AM
It was kind of freeing to me to be able to be open and honest and forthcoming about my weight here at 3fc. Almost like a huge burden was lifted. I was acknowledging the fact that I had an enormous amount of weight to lose. And that I could use help in doing so.

Robin, I feel EXACTLY the same way. Only my mother, my sister, and my best friend know how much I weighed at the beginning of all this, and I only told them after I'd lost lots of weight. I would NEVER have told my husband what I weighed at the start. I was just thinking yesterday that when I hit my goal weight I might tell him. People know how much I've lost, so they can do the math and get a rough estimate, I suppose, but I never really think about that. It WAS incredibly freeing to post my real weight on here and talk openly about how much I need to lose. I think that's been a crucial part of my success so far.

cbmare, I encourage you to share your stats with us, because I honestly think it helps. If you're going to share it with ANYone, this is the place to do it. But I understand if you're uncomfortable with it, and you should do what feels right to you. Just know that success CAN happen, and that it WILL happen if you commit to it. And if you do, every day you will feel better than the day before. Even if you screw up a little, and we all do, you'll still be on this incredible journey that we're all taking together. Sometimes you just have to do what feels impossible -- just decide that it IS possible, and life has a way of surprising you. On July 18th, when I started this for the millionth time, I really had no idea that I'd be signing up for a 10k a few months later and shopping for clothes several sizes smaller. You just have to commit to the changes and let the good stuff come. It absolutely will. :)

02-18-2007, 12:21 PM
Now, you are not going to believe this. I'm embarrassed to put up my fitday, anything under my name or a ticker. I just don't want to feel like a failure if those numbers don't change. I'm not asking for a lot of loss per week. I want 1-2 lbs/wk. I feel that is the safe way to lose weight. I don't know why I'm embarrassed. Look at Tammy and some of the rest of you. I only have about 70 lbs to lose. Give me a few days to steel up my nerves.

:hug: I completely understand this. Even though I knew I HAD to lose the weight or else, I still had this kernel of fear. Fear that I wouldn't/couldn't do it. Fear that people would know I was trying to lose weight and failing. Somehow in my mind, it was better for everyone to think I was happy being morbidly obese than for them to think I was trying to lose weight and struggling, or failing. My DH was the only person who knew about it, and that was only because he saw the groceries that I brought home and would have wondered about it, so I told him. I had lost almost fifty lbs before I would admit to anyone else (my parents, my sister, my best friend) that I was trying to lose weight.

But I do echo what the others have said about it being freeing to talk about it in this forum. Almost no one in my real world knows how much I weigh/weighed. Just DD (she's nosy enough to look for my posts on 3fc if I leave the screen up on the computer) and my sister, who could figure it out, since we've had little competitions together. I also didn't start out on here with so much information posted about myself. I had already lost about 70 lbs and it was another couple of months before I had the nerve to put up a weight, or a photo, etc. Just do what you are comfortable with. But don't forget how anonymous the forum can be. Even with your stats up there, it's not like we know that you're mare down the street who weighs XXX.