[restlessspirit]

Well I am looking forward to my second f2f OA meeting. I really hope I can get a sponsor..at least temporarily till I find someone that has what I want . I haven't been binge eating...not what I consider binge eating anyways. I am a little confused on the abstinence thing. I was reading the Overeaters Anonymous book by Bill B. yesterday. Of course, he said it was his experience, strength and hope, but he was talking about abstinence and how the compulsion to overeat was lifted, that a food plan was still a controlled method of eating..etc. etc. etc. So that kind of confused me. Because I know we are supposed to quit trying to control it, that is what got us here in the first place. So now I'm like..okay..I'm not binge eating, I am eating 3 meals, not planned, but just an average meal. I might have a banana or something if I do actually get hungry. Now that may change..but so far I haven't bought 3 or 4 doughnuts and waited till no one was looking and ate them all at one sitting. I haven't went to a fast food restaurant and hid the food in the car till the kids went to bed. To me..that is being abstinent..at least for now. But the meals I am eating, well they aren't outrageous or anything. But they aren't low fat or low cal..or sugar free etc etc. Just normal meals I cook for my family. So, is this okay? I'm gonna keep coming back..and maybe I'll find out. I'll keep praying to my HP and maybe the answers will be revealed. I would still like to hear anyones experience strength and hope on this matter.

[marny]

Hey there-

Wow! You are doing fantastic! You're right-- you are being abstinent by not eating compulsively. Everyone's definition of abstinence is different. Mine is that I only eat at my planned meal times, and I don't eat dessert because it's my trigger to binge.

When I sponsor someone new to the program I suggest a beginning abstinence of 3 meals a day with nothing in between. Those three meals can be anything and any size. They can be banquets in fact. This is how I started out. My brain and body needed time to adjust to not eating all day long. So, to convince myself that I wouldn't starve to death between breakfast and lunch, I allowed myself to "eat enough to get me to the next meal". That could mean different things to different people, but to me it meant stuffing myself silly. After a few weeks passed, and I began to trust that I would be okay not eating until my next meal, I was able to begin working on portion control.

[blender]

Hello Restless,

How was your second f2f meeting last night? Did you connect with a sponsor?

The way I see it, an individual's definition of abstinence must be revised as they progress. And I say you've progressed by leaps and bounds this week!

[restlessspirit]

Thanks blender..it went real well. I already posted on a new thread before I read your question. The meeting went well and I found a sponsor! Thanks for all the support.