Oh Veggie & gang, I have experienced many of the things you have described. My stars, the shadow thing is SO upsetting, isn't it?! lol Well, we will all be able to chalk it up to past tense, right? We can do it! *hugs
The major factors that have put a sustainable fire under me are:
1. Ramping up my business and receiving requests for video, newspaper (with photo) and tv interviews
2. My book release this Summer that will also generate the same media attention as above
3. Meeting with clients real-time in an office besides online
and
4. Performing a bellydance routine this Summer NOT being a fatty-bo-batty
All good things that have given me the inspiration to practice a fair amount of will power without pangs. I am also working my butt off in bellydance and aerobic bellydance class.