Locke you have come so far! I have definitely been medicating myself with food too. Practicing mindfulness is a great tool for dealing with anxiety and I need to remember that too.
Jensassy, thank you for the meditation reminder. I am going to copy paste that and put it somewhere that I can look at it. I tried it and I did feel calmer. I love being able to meditate without sitting cross legged trying to focus on nothing.
Wannabe: were you a therapist in your past life?
No but seriously you have this amazing way of just cutting right to the quick of an issue and showing it to people. You are SOOOOOOO right. I am trying to seek acceptance and connection with my dad through food. ( or lack of it) Looking at it with the scenario you described above was really helpful too. Thank you.
I realized that this issue may be mostly in my own head. They came over, the pizza place got their order wrong and put cheese on their pizza. They ate it anyway and shared it with me and it was delicious. It was veggie and with cheese it was scrumptious. (Even if they had a non cheese pizza, or I had eaten the pepperoni it would have been fine too) We had a wonderful time. They brought amazing cake and salad and we all had a great time. I knew in my rational self that it would probably be fine but I guess I have issues from childhood or teenage hood or something. I think it did really help me to identify the cause of my anxiety before they came over though. I do feel foolish for being that worried about it though. Hopefully I learned something for the future.