Thank you for your kind words, VermontMom. The problem with my mother, and with most, was she wanted her children to have perfect lives, and she thought she knew the best way for that to happen. My mother was a good person who wanted her six kids to have an easier life. She and my father put all six of us through college, telling us they would pay our way if we promised to pay for our further degrees, which we all did.
Her problem with my sisters and me as adults was she thought she knew what was best for us and gave us her opinion....whether it be about a shade of lipstick, the house we bought, how we arranged our furniture, our spouse's family, just about anything except how to raise our kids....she drew the line on that (although she would complain about each of us to the others - - She once told me about my sister, a physician "Those boys look like they just came out of the rag bag. Someone should tell her that her patients would run the other way if she saw the wrinkled clothes she put on those boys." I said, "If it bothers you that much you should tell her." Needless to say, she never did, but if those nephews dropped by, my mother would tell them to take their shirt off so she could press it!
She always wanted us to "make a good appearance," and stressed "what goes on in this house, stays in this house." which now seems so weird, as nothing went on in the house that could not have been published on Page One of the local newspaper. It was that "Greatest Generation" of women, and they could not seem to help themselves.
My advice is to be kind to your mother; listen, thank her for her advice regardless of what you think of it, change the subject and do not argue.
Regardless of your relationship, you will miss your mother when she is gone. It is much easier on me than my two sisters as I never saw the point in arguing with her, going weeks without speaking to her, and so on. I realized that she only wanted the best for us, regardless of how she tried to tell us what we should do.