[philana]

I love to read ally our replies and am thankful for your honesty!

My reason for asking was not to support the statement or frustration from the person in the 100lbs thread. Though I do understand it. I recognise the battle we all have here, no matter where we start or wish to go. I was just wondering if indeed many featherweights in the end are still very pre-occupied by this thought that their body or their perception of their body is still not good enough.

I think it's safe to say if you are within heatlhy weight range in this day and age, you are probably working really hard every day. Here in the Netherlands the amount of obese people is not as big as in the States yet but it is growing everyday and more and more kids are overweight. It is shocking to see. When you start counting calories you just are surprised every day at what mess gets put in our food. And to see how many people think they are eating healthy while they are eating absolutely krap is just disheartening.

But I also agree with other posters like PetitPowerhouse that say we should not look at people working hard to be at the low bmi range like they are the silly ones either. It's almost more of an issue to be really skinny and healthy than it is for female students to be having a beerbelly at 21years of age.

I do think however that there is a difference between trying to live up to the supermodel-body type and measuring yourself by that vs wanting to be healthy and look lean. I sometimes just read stuff on these featherweight boards that make me feel like we are harder on ourselves than we deserve. Than ANYONE deserves. However, I also love that we can be so honest here and say how we feel and NOT feel guilty over it. As there is no need. But I just hope that in the end, we are atleast happy. We are healthy and fit. We are not being treated harshly by the outside world. Only by ourselves, and that is something we can do something about.

--
Now, to answer my own question, do I sincerely feel fat? Some days I do, some days I don't. The days I do are less than the days I don't. And as soon as that starts to change, I will start to worry about my body perception. I think every woman has days she feels just ICK, but featherweights looking at themselves believing they are fat and can call themselves fat is just not right I think.

[PixieChix]

After reading PetitePowerhouse's post, I reread my own post and saw that I was doing what she said--separating my struggles from "their" struggles because I don't have much weight to lose.

My intent was to be respectful and to realize that I can never understand what it's like for those who have to lose a lot of weight, because I've never been there.

Sometimes my husband complains about neck pain because he worked out too hard and pulled a muscle. I know what that feels like; I've done it. But that can't possibly compare to the neck pain I live with every day as a result of a car accident. The two are incomparable, although they are both painful.

[pinkrunner115]

I read all of the posts here and I guess I'll post my feelings on the matter. I've been so thin and had such little body fat that I lost that "time of the month" for over a year. I've always been a runner, but during this time I worked my body to the point of just shutting down. After that, when I began eating "normally" and exercising "normally" I gained a lot of weight-- I was around 145. Going from being underweight to the borderline of overweight was absolutely excruciating for my mind. I had a broken metabolism and that's how I felt: completely broken. I felt enormous to the point that I didn't want to leave the house.

It's true, I have no idea what it's like to be a 100 pounds overweight. But I do know what it's like to suffer because of weight gain, and I know what it's like when your clothes don't fit properly and you feel humiliated at your appearance. This was nearly 10 years ago, and it became difficult to find a happy medium. I always watch myself and if I start to get carried away with working out (i.e. running 15 miles one day and then deciding that it's a good idea to do 2 hours of cardio the next day) I back off. I used to not allow myself a day off, and when I was bigger I was too humiliated to go to the gym, so now I always make sure I don't get caught in either end of the spectrum- I run, but not more than 40 miles a week, but also not less than 20 unless I am ill or injured.

I guess this has been a drawn out way to saying that while underweight, healthy, overweight, and obese have actual numerical meanings in terms of how much body fat one carries, "fat" is a very, very subjective term.

We all have a starting point and an ending point. We all get there in different ways. I've found that for me the best thing to do is be encouraging to everyone and try my best not to judge- we all know that we're our own worst critics and it would be irresponsible to tell someone that their journey is less significant than that of another person.

As for whether I call myself fat and mean it? Not so much anymore. There are days I'm uncomfortable in my skin, but I don't truly believe I'm fat. I work out hard, but I still eat too many sweets. I'm a human being and sometimes I'm weak. I can honestly say that I am more balanced now than I have been in the last 10 years, and while my goal weight is important, it's not something that I continually beat myself up about.

[banananutmuffin]

Short answer: Yes, I see myself as fat every time I look in the mirror. But no one else would call me fat.

However, my problem is body composition, not actual weight, and I realize this. I have too little muscle, am waaaayyyy out of shape, so the extra few pounds that I do carry are, in fact, jiggly fat (which is not great looking in the mirror).

So I call myself "fat," but what I really mean is "I need to lose some fat and add some muscle." It's just "fat" is the simplest way to say it to myself and others.