Thanks so much for the common sense advise. I'm a very intelligent person, but I have an "impulse control" problem in several areas of my life, and this is such a huge (there's got to be a pun in there some where) decision. I remember reading an article that discussed a study in which 70 percent of college women would abort a fetus if it could be determined that the child was likely to grow up obese. Even relatively normal sized women do very risky things to try and lose a tiny amount of weight. It makes me very sensitive to our society's view that it is better to be dead than fat, so it's almost seen as ok that many weight loss products and procedures are dangerous. Our society sees it as "worth the risk," to the point that teens are being treated with wls before they reach the "tried everything else and failed," stage. Then there's the other perspective, that I think is equally crazy, that fat is never the real problem, and that it's dieting that kills people. What's craziest of all, is I can't seem to find anyone who has an opinion somewhere in the middle. In the last few years, I've experienced increasingly sever health problems that I know are weight related (they go away when I lose weight, and they come back when I regain it, there's no big mystery there). Here I go ranting again, but I just want to make sure that I'm not trading one set of problems for an equal but different set. I also know there are no guarantees, and some side effects can be prevented or predicted and some can't. I'm willing to be under a physician's care for the rest of my life (I am already). I'm willing to pay attention to what I eat for the rest of my life, and realize there are negative consequences for failing to address my bodies needs (I do that now too). I'm willing to live my life according to strange idiocyncracies of my personal bodily functions (hey, I'm doing that already too). I'm willing to accept that maintaining a post wls body is going to be at least as difficult, as maintaining the one I've got. I'm even willing to accept a (slightly) shorter life expectance, if necessary, for fewer higher quality years. I'm even willing to acknowledge that there's a possibility that a physical or mental defect in me may prevent this from being permanent. What I'm not willing to do, is say my life is so horrible (it isn't) that any risk is acceptable.
I see my doctor on Monday to find out the results of the heart scans I had this week. I'm going to talk to him about wls. Meanwhile, I'm trying my damndest to lose at least enough weight to make me a better candidate for laproscopic surgery.
(Big, big, big, big sighhhhhhh).