Ok so this is a rant!!! I hate when people (family mostly) know when youre eating healthy and trying to lose weight and they think they should tell you what and when and how to eat! My aunt came up yesterday so we had dinner at my grandparents and i had my salad and a piece of chicken parm and some veggie noodles and my mom goes "youll never be a size 8 by next year if you keep eating like this" mind you this was at the table infront of everyone. EMBARRASSING!!!!!!!! Oh and i forgot when i got there i had maybe 5 flat oreo cracker things and my mom goes dont spoil your dinner with snacking youre not going to lose any weight cheating. Like who are you to tell me??? She made one more comment later on and i finally said "oh and youre the one telling me how to eat?" My moms always been overweight and overfed me and fed me crap growing up, i think thats what bothers me the most youre going to bother me about what im eating but youre big too? I just feel like whenever im doing good someone puts me down or someone is offering me bad food knowing that i cant eat it. i guess my question is does this happen to you and how do you handle it?
I don't know what plan you're doing, but I doubt you'd be eating it if it weren't in your plan...especially since you've done so well this far.
Perhaps the next time something is mentioned about your food choices you can simply say, "well, I've done well so far with the choices I've made." or, "If this wasn't allowed in my plan I wouldn't be eating it."
preciousMissy is right, you've lost 29lbs by doing what you're doing. Try to ignore your mum, and if that doesn't work, I'd sit her down and tell her how you feel. I did that with my mum and she's nothing but supportive now, and her suggestions are supportive, positive and helpful. She also no longer brings up my weight loss unless I mention it first, all because I talked to her about it, she had no idea how badly she was making me feel, she thought she was being helpful and encouraging.
That's really frustrating. My mom always had comments about what I ate, how much I weighed, etc. At some point when I was in college, I finally invoked a bulimic friend and told her to let up and it worked to a certain extent. I still have to not talk to her about weight loss. It's easier now that I only see her every other month or so. She talks about food and her own and other people's weight all the time, and I just give an non-committal response every time. It still bothers me though. Even now, she's noticed I've lost weight, and I just don't want hear it from her, because I know it means she's noticed when I've gained too.
I guess I don't have any concrete advice, except to avoid the topic with her at all costs.
BTW, I grew up in your neck of the woods, Cold Spring, NY.
Honestly, if I were you I would take the "give it right back to them" attitude, and as soon as she said anything about my eating habits or weight I'd reply "and how is all of your weight loss wisdom working for you? I don't see YOU wearing a size 8 so maybe you don't know what you're talking about" with a smile of course.
In my experience, family and friends who act like this fall in to one of two camps. The first one is jealousy, they're the people who want to lose weight or feel like they're being left behind etc, and the other camp is the one where people genuinely feel like they're being helpful and supportive. It might be helpful to find out which camp your mum falls into then decide what to do from there xx
In my experience, family and friends who act like this fall in to one of two camps. The first one is jealousy, they're the people who want to lose weight or feel like they're being left behind etc, and the other camp is the one where people genuinely feel like they're being helpful and supportive. It might be helpful to find out which camp your mum falls into then decide what to do from there xx
I agree. And I think that my husband is really trying to be supportive......but it's so irritating!
I agree with everyone. You are doing great and you should keep up the great work.
That being said...
You have to live your life. You will be in situations where you won't be able to eat the 100 calorie steamed chicken and will have to eat what is provided. You make adjustments and move on. Do not let other's opinions get in your way.
My mother and I have always been on a very short fuse. Being honest about your feelings is the best way to approach her. You may even ask that she just not comment of your weight/plan. Bringing up how she taught you to eat will only escalate the issue. Be calm and have your needs clearly outlined. Then after you've had the talk, if she continues to say hurtful things you will have to decide what is more important. Eating at the family gatherings or your well being.
I think you could educate her too. Like, "losing weight is simply creating a calorie deficit" As long as I eat less than I burn in a day, I'll lose weight. I've accounted for X today, so it's fine."
if she wants to know more explain how this is a lifelong journey and you have to be able to eat how you feel you can maintain for your whole life. So, if you really like mayo on a sandwich, use a bit less and enjoy - especially if mustard doesn't do it for you. if you want to enjoy chicken parmesan, then reduce teh portion size and enjoy, etc.
People just get this idea that you ahve to suffer to lose weight and that is so not true!
Weve never had the best relationship but it gets better as we both get older so i think the next time we talk im going to try and tell her that it bothers me whens he makes these comments and to just let me do whats worked for me and well see what kind of excuse she comes up with lol
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Originally Posted by zoodoo613
BTW, I grew up in your neck of the woods, Cold Spring, NY.
Oh man! Your were right next to me! Miss it at all over here?
Weve never had the best relationship but it gets better as we both get older so i think the next time we talk im going to try and tell her that it bothers me whens he makes these comments and to just let me do whats worked for me and well see what kind of excuse she comes up with lol
Oh man! Your were right next to me! Miss it at all over here?
Oops quoted two people instead of the original comment...not real forum savvy....LOL!
If you think she'll make an excuse, you probably aren't going to get her to take accountability for her behavior, much less have her change it. It's best IMO to get your head above it so it doesn't affect you when she or anyone else does that to you. It's best to just tell them "I know exactly what I am supposed to be doing so don't worry your pretty little head over it."
Sometimes people make stinging comments and are ignorant to how bad it sounds....I often get comments from a loved one on how tired I look today and if I am feeling well, usually on days when I've gone the extra mile on my appearance. The other day, although I've lost almost 50 lbs, I got to hear how my tummy was sticking out making me look pregnant. You just gotta let those things roll off of you like water on a duck's back.
"I know exactly what I am supposed to be doing so don't worry your pretty little head over it." .
LOVE THIS!! I agree with shell just blow it off like she wasnt wrong and im just getting too over emotional about it soooo i might just say that instead!
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Originally Posted by zoodoo613
I get back not too infrequently, as my parents are still there. Pretty area!
Very pretty area i havent been over there in a while but i love walking through the little shops and that restaurant by the tracks is delish!
Ya i have this issue kind of. My grandmother is around me a lot lately and she always makes comments on whether or not I can eat this or that and comments on how large my salads are. Lol. She's old and thin and has a very old mentality about weight loss and how to eat well.
It's hard to ignore the comments or to just reply in a polite manner. But I try to just let her know that she shouldn't comment because she has no idea where I am in my program or what I have had that day or what I will have later. If I have planned to have a cheeseburger and/or a splurge it's no ones business. And you are walking proof that you know what your doing if you have already lost weight!
youll never lose weight if you eat that
mind you this was at the table infront of everyone. EMBARRASSING!!!!!!!!
Oh and i forgot when i got there i had maybe 5 flat oreo cracker things and my mom goes dont spoil your dinner with snacking youre not going to lose any weight cheating. Like who are you to tell me??? She made one more comment later on and i finally said "oh and youre the one telling me how to eat?" My moms always been overweight and overfed me and fed me crap growing up, i think thats what bothers me the most youre going to bother me about what im eating but youre big too? I just feel like whenever im doing good someone puts me down or someone is offering me bad food knowing that i cant eat it. i guess my question is does this happen to you and how do you handle it?
