I sure can relate to this thread. It's not easy to get those looks from people. One thing it did tell me is who my real friends are. I was really surprised when one fairly new "friend" seemed to be quite agitated about the weight gain I had when I was depressed about a failed adoption last fall. I realized that having her in my life was not a positive thing and distanced myself from her.
Cheekiemonkey - I think that the more things you can get out and do, the better you will feel, especially if you try something new. So many of us understand how you are feeling and we are here to support you. It can help to focus on some of the goals and good things that will come out of losing weight. Maybe having more energy for hobbies or seeing some new scenery on your walks. Take care of yourself - you ARE worth it.
Wow, I have to say I haven't gotten to that point...but how heartbroken my family and I would be if my sister, who is over 300 lbs had shut us out of her life because of her weight! When we spend time with her we don't see/think about the weight she's gained. My sister is funny, smart, caring, a great sister, mom, and daughter. We didn't love her any less when she gained her weight, and now that she's had the gastric sleeve and is losing weight, we don't love her more because of it. Life is waaay to short, don't deprive yourself or your loved ones of the memories of time spent together. That lost time can't be regained!
Hello,
This is my first time posting to this website, and I am both thrilled and saddened to see that so many of us can relate to this post. Believe me, sometimes I wish I could just avoid all people, but my life just doesn't allow for it. I do, however, avoid LOTS of events and situations because of my weight and my feelings of shame. The worst of which is swimming lessons form my youngest (he won't go in the pool without me). I have cut back on all volunteering at my son's school because I can see the shock and dissappointment in so many people's faces (I lost and gained back 85#'s), One teacher actually congratulated me on my pregnancy (she was very embarrassed, I actually felt bad for her because honestly I do look pregnant). That was the day I said to myself I am no longer going anywhere I know people unless I have to. Of course that day was also part of the kick start to get me on the right track with my weight. Perhaps we really need to hit rock bottom before we can do something about it. Now everytime I think of going off track, I try to think about the humiliation, embarassment and unbearable depression I felt the day the teacher thought I was pregnant. Sorry for rambling, but I just wanted to let you know how much I understand. I know our self worth is not based on our appearance, but it can be so hard to internalize that idea on a minute by minute basis.
Yup, I have withdrawn. It's awful. i imagine everyone saying, "Wow, Joan really put on some weight."
Getting dressed to go anywhere is a tortuous exercise in camoflauge (sp). This is one of the things I hate most about my weight gain.
I laugh at this, but used to be when I went "fishing" for compliments about my weight---you know, when you say, "I've gotten so fat," etc., and wait for people to say, "Oh, you have not, you look great"....well, lately people aren't saying a word! Even my mother VERY cautiously said, "Well, you've put on a little weight..."
The other day I was looking at my wedding pix--16 years and almost 40 pounds ago--and the difference is stunning. I looked SO great, and didn't appreciate it. I want that girl back! Or at least, a slightly older, wiser version of her.
yep, I can relate to this post. I have been avoiding people and since it has been winter here when I do go out I have been wearing a cape to cover up the fact that my jackets are bulging at the front. I'm dreading going out now the weather is warming up.
my partner is really healthy and slim, he does sport or trains every day and his friends are all fit and really active as well, they are lovely people but I feel just huge when I'm around them so I avoid going places, I think they've just stopped asking me anymore since they know what the answer will be.
I have a family wedding I have to attend in October--so I will be forced to come out of hiding from many family members. I am feeling a little better that I have shedded some weight but not quite ready to come out of hiding.
I know this is not a healthy mindset. But ****- I'm dysfunctional :-)......
Well, hopefully this will be less eventful than you fear, and then you can move on I'm sure your family will be very happy to see you, and hopefully your new-found confidence from having lost some weight will shine through.
It's still a few weeks away, which means you may have even lost a few more pounds when the time comes.
I'm sure your family will be very happy to see you, and hopefully your new-found confidence from having lost some weight will shine through.