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44 and fat and depressed and stressed and overeating and overdrinking and and and

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Old 05-04-2007, 08:10 PM   #16
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I totally understand the depressed, fat and overdrinking thing as I sit here at the computer with a glass of wine! LOL I think I used to blame the antidepressants for the weight gain as well as the depression. Well, I was depressed before when I weighed 118lbs too. So, the only thing that has made me feel better at all is a bit of exercise. Yeah, I do know how difficult it is to get motivated. I joined a gym 1 year ago with a friend. She lost 25lbs and I have gained 10lbs. I would wake up late and not answer the telephone when she would call to "motivate" me to work out. When I did go I would only burn 100-200 calories in an hour doing cardio. Then I'd eat 1000
cals after midnight in addition to my daily calorie intake. (I am a restaurant manager that works at night). Well, 4 weeks ago I decided I needed to do something or end it all. Since then I joined 3FC and have loved the support. I have also been going to the gym 3-4 times a week and burning 700-800 calories a day doing cardio. My friend and I are going to start yoga next week. I feel so much better. Don't know if I have lost a pound since I haven't weighed myself in 10 years but did today for the first time. Aagghh! 20lbs more than I thought. Don't look in mirrors much either!! Well, anyway, I think the only success I have achieved thus far is the exercise high. It's a start and am looking forward to weight loss success with the help of all my 3FC buddies. Hope you can get to a point where you can enjoy that high too. It can happen as I have experienced. I also can't say that a bit of wine once in a while is a tragedy. Be kind to yourself. Cheers!
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Old 05-04-2007, 08:31 PM   #17
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Hi there "Roxy", It's nice to hear from you, I KNOW the reason for our weight gain is alcohol, which is REALLY hard to stop when you are a depressed person. I too am a depressed person and I know that the medication I took for awhile didn't help with the weight gain, in fact it hurt... badly... but I have stopped taking them for about 6 months now and am still gaining so I must blame it on the drink.... I haven't drank in two days then tonight I broke down, I'm sittin here with a vodka & oj, so cheers to you also. I used to drink wine... totally understand.... I did however exercise today and it made me feel better that I didn't give up totally today. I also understand about the high you are talking about. I used to get it when I used to run when I weighed alot less. I want to get there again.......... I WILL get there again........ Maybe we can get there together? You are right about the support here, I have found alot of support. I am glad to have found you have a great evening and I will chat with you later, Elizabeth
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Old 05-05-2007, 10:24 AM   #18
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Elizabeth, all of us have been down your same road. It is the reason we are all not size 4!

Basically, what has been said has been the only way to go. I have found that the new portion size snacks are a God send. Who would have thought that 3 little cupcakes, love the carrot cake ones, can be as satisfying as a whole cake. The chocolate ones are to die for. So that has been my mission is to see that a little can be good.

Good luck to you and us all
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Old 05-06-2007, 06:38 PM   #19
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Hello Elizabeth. Thanks for the kind words. I have been told about the weight gain issues caused by antidepressants by my doctors. I am just going to work harder to drop the pounds and stay with the pills for now.
I had a pretty good weekend. Had a date on Friday night which was strange since it is the first time dating since I have gained 30lbs. Didn't honestly think anyone would be interested in a fat middle-aged me. Glad I was wrong. I did drink a bit on Friday night since we went to dinner and had wine. Only had one Corona for Cinco de Mayo and no nachos!!! It's nice to back out there in the world and receiving a bit of positive attention.
Back to the gym tomorrow. Hope your weekend was fun.
Cheers!
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Old 05-10-2007, 04:55 PM   #20
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Gosh, what to say? I've read through this whole thread, and I'm sitting here at my desk at work and I can feel the tears forming at the back of my throat (swallow swallow) (and I hardly ever cry)! Lawsclan and all the other women here…I've never had the courage to admit to anyone else what you've been talking about, but I've "identified" so much with what you have all been saying. I've been in (am deeply in) the same boat as you, and while I know I'm not unique, I've never meet any women who seem to have the same issues as me, and I've been feeling so very alone. Lawsclan, you did a courageous thing, facing your nervousness of measuring yourself. Just think, you've done it! That's one less hurdle to jump over. I'm 45, and I am way overweight. I have been depressed for a long time, and am currently taking quite a high dose of Effexor. Plus…..I adore my white wine. All I want to do when I get home is get some relief from the feelings of stress and tension and sadness. I'm 5'6" and weigh between 195 and 200. Oddly enough, I know I look really fine, thin even, at 160, which is strange because all those charts say a woman of 5'6" is overweight at 145. I WISH! I am not fine boned, so maybe that's it. I'd like to get down to 145.
You have inspired me to try again. I'm gearing up (mentally) to take a walk tonight with my dog – usually I walk in from work, drop my bags and start cooking. Then there's the dishes, the bills, the laundry, my 3 daughters to deal with (not that bad, they're great young women), my mom who has been ill – and the irresistible lure of finally plopping down on the couch with that glass of wine and a movie.
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Old 05-12-2007, 01:26 AM   #21
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Hey Sandyj. You too have proven to be courageous. I am now sure we are far from alone with our depression and weight battles. As much as it seems impossible to feel better reaching out to strangers, it is such a relief to be able to get on line and know that others understand.
I spent my only day off in 14 days on the couch today, trying to motivate myself to go to the gym or even walk around the block. Nothing so far. I guess I will try again tomorrow. One day at a time huh?
I have faith that we will all be ok since we are making the effort to talk about things and that is a huge step.
Have a good weekend.
Roxy
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Old 05-13-2007, 08:10 PM   #22
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Thanks, Roxy, for your reply. You are all right, this is a really nice support group. I've been busy all day, would you believe....cleaning my kitchen! Sounds depressing, but it's not. It looks so nice and I feel good. I wonder if that counts as excercise? Well, I was up and down on a stool, cleaning shelves, cleaning the windows, the top of the cupboards and fridge, and then down the floor. I certainly worked up a sweat. I have tried very hard last week as well as this week end to just focus on what I'm eating and drinking. I haven't got a diet to follow really, I just want to eat healthily and enjoy good things in moderation. This week I am keeping a log of everything I eat or drink. I also started a blog, Oh RubyJean - that's me! I gave myself that name years ago as a joke, but it stuck in my head. I think of RubyJean as the woman I am on the inside.
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Old 05-14-2007, 01:59 AM   #23
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Great job with the cleaning binge. I know what you mean. Once you get into it the cleaning can be a terrrific workout. Keeps your mind off food too.
I was keeping a food and exercise journal up until last week. It really does help and they say you are more likely to lose weight if you record all that you eat. I haven't done it in the past week because I only worked out one day and ate indiscriminately. The truth hurts, especially if it is in front of your face on paper. Back to the old grind again tomorrow.
I am also not on any prescribed diet plan. I figure after all these years of every diet on the planet, I know what to eat and not to eat. I eat bc of many other factors than hunger. Bet most of us do.
Keep up the journaling and thanks for the motivation to clean my house.
Roxy
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Old 05-15-2007, 09:12 AM   #24
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You gals are an inspiration. Maybe it's something to do with the 40s or the high expectations we lay on ourselves. I've been in the same boat. One oar in the water and wondering why I keep going around in circles. This Jan. I read an article about resolutions, it said to make a long term goal and mark it on the calendar. That's where I came up with my weight loss goal. One pound a week, one at a time. My problem lately had been quitting after a few weeks or a month or two. Now I have that looming on the calendar in Nov. Last month I only lost 1 lb. the whole month, but this month is going better. I think we are weak when we're in our low points and that's why we quit. If you can just stick it out when you're not as successful, the successes will come. Laws, you'll be glad later that you took your measurements, I wish I had, now I have nothing to compare too. That can be an awesome non-scale victory, in fact that book "you on a diet" tells you to go by your waist size not the scale for getting healthier.

I too have been a member of 3FC for quite some time and never really looked at the 40s support group. This site is so great, I'm very thankful for it. From support to recipes and even my silly weight tracker. It all helps.

I'm a big (pardon the pun) proponent of exercise for fighting depression. It helps so much. I try to do just a little bit more, not too much because if you hurt yourself then you're screwed. Mini goals to reach your long-term goal which should be mostly about better health.

Speaking of which, my WW leader is always talking about doing what you can keep doing long term. She's always telling us if you're eating something you don't like just because you're on a diet you're not going to make it, you need to learn to eat less of what you do like. So, keep that in mind. I've done the "eating only a tablespoon of peanut butter and sugar free jelly on lite bread" diet and although I lost a bunch of weight it came back.

I'm trying to create a new healthy lifestyle and the weight is coming off, slowly yes, but I think it's going to stay off this time. Lots of luck and good wishes. Just remember ~ don't give up! Just get back up and try again.
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Old 05-15-2007, 12:30 PM   #25
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kelijpa, your post is full of practical "do-able" ideas. Thank you so much for weighing in (do not exuse the pun)!
I didn't take my measurements as I proclaimed to myself that I would, so, thanks to your encouragement, this is what I will do todoay. I will also dust off my little weight icon thingy.
Today has not been so great. I wasn't feeling good yesterday, maybe a touch of a tummy virus. I am also feeling so very tired, but I think it may be just work stress. I have called in sick today from work, and I slept late. I plan to have a nice bath, just now, and pull myself together. I have my laptop at home and all the technology to work from home, and as a measure of self discipline, I plan to do that and accomplish something.
But....before that, I WILL take those measurements, and I will take my darling girl Shelby for a walk. (Shelby is a golden retriever).
Thanks all you ladies for your inspiration.!
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Old 05-18-2007, 03:31 PM   #26
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Hi, Elizabeth (and everyone)! I'm somewhat new here and I, like pretty much everyone else, used to be small (120 lbs - I have tiny bones) and gained a lot of weight. I also, unfortunately, adore wine and love to cook. My main problem, though, was getting motivated. For the life of me I could not get motivated! Finally I saw or read something that suggested that step one is to exercise - don't try to make such huge changes all at once, if you're having trouble with motivation. So that's what I did. I started lifting weights, which isn't so burdensome to me. After a month or so I added some light aerobics. I got on the treadmill and was shocked that just trying to jog for ONE MINUTE nearly killed me! So I worked on that. This was only last month - then I got onto the coolrunning website and also fitday and started tracking what I was eating. So...today I can run 2 miles, am lifting heavier weights than I ever have and am sticking with a food plan. The funny thing is - once I got started, the rest was comparably easy! Sticking with the food plan is surprisingly easy. I've only lost 10 lbs, but at least it's in the right direction. So this is a loooong winded way of saying that I agree with Diane that thinking in terms of baby steps might be helpful. I know it's really tough when your knees ache from walking -but just do a little bit each day and soon you'll be doing more.

P.S. - the second hardest thing was cutting back on the wine. I try to limit it to the weekends...not always successfully

(Update: just got on the scale and finally broke my 10 lb plateau - so now I'm down 11 1/2! )


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Old 05-23-2007, 04:34 PM   #27
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You know what-WE 40 somethings ROCK!!!!!!! I'm glad we have a thread to come to!!! I'm sick of hearing that it's so hard to lose weight after 40-HOGWASH...... keep up all of the good work ladies.....!!!!
Jan
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Old 05-23-2007, 07:01 PM   #28
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Have you thought about counting calories? Diet and exercise together bring better results.
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Old 05-26-2007, 01:48 PM   #29
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Ok , not to be a drag or anything but the booze? it's a dead end. I have been sober for 5 years and it was the [b]best[b]move I ever made.Booze breeds depression, it's like chasing your tail. Your up for a bout a half hour then down, the rest of the night your looking for that dose of optomisim you had with the first drink!
This all leads to hunger , lack of motivation and greater depression.I don't know many people that want to get on the treadmill when they are depressed and depleated of energy! I'm here to help sister!

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Old 06-03-2007, 04:53 AM   #30
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lawsclan View Post
I am 44 almost 45, I went from 125lbs to 214 in 2 years. It is even more depressing because I lost 70lbs to get to the 125lbs. I was fine eating the way I was, it was a lifestyle to me, but people started telling me that I was getting too thin. Then I went through a couple of depressed episodes and then I just gave up I guess and I started gaining weight, I started drinking too, making my weight gain even worse! I am struggling now to stop that as well as the OVEReating. I used to look like my avatar and I want to look like that again! I am hoping that telling on myself to others will help. I used to do tae bo which I LOVED and it helped me to lose weight. I haven't done it in 2 years, now I am so fat that even when I start to walk on my treadmill my knee starts hurting. Being a student all day makes matters worse, because I am either sitting at school or sitting at my coffee table studying. I only really take the time to make a family meal or change over the laundry. I know this needs to change... I just can't seem to get motivated............................. H E L P

I totally understand how you feel. I have a very busy life with my kids ages 15, 13 and almost 11. For me, I sit a lot at all of their sports games and practices, and most of the time, there's no place to walk for exercise during practices.

I started a diet I did years ago with much success. I eat several small meals a day, about every 3 hours or so, and stay under 1800 calories. Little by little I will bring the calories down, but I don't want to make myself sick by cutting down drastically, or put my body into starvation mode.

What I've done, is bought some mini meals. Lean Cuisine, Smart Choice, small microwave cans of Chef Boyardee products- I make sure every one of them is under 300 calories. It's only been a couple of days, but I've already lost 5 pounds doing this (I will update my ticker in a few days after I hit the first week cycle). Last week, I lost two pounds, from simply using Z Trim in my salad dressings, cream cheese on bagels, mayonaise, sour cream, and veggie dips. That was change number one. This week, I did the mini meals, so so far, I've lost 7 pounds. It can be done, but make it a diet that is convenient for you! Good luck!
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