Someone please feel free to kick me in the pants..
So its evident that i OBVIOUSLY need a good swift kick in the pants. Dealing with the past two weeks being so stressfull, i allowed my stress to get out of control and turn into a " i think i will have this just for tonite" and it obviously turned into a "more than once" experience..which has resulted in gaining two pounds, not losing..PLUS my exercise has ..shot right out the window, due to frustration, tiredness, stress, headaches..arghh!..So needless to say, its obvious that i need someone or more than one person to kick me in the pants because its evident that ive managed to spend more time freaking out about my kid's health or laying in bed from daily headaches instead of actually helping myself by eating better and exercising..I think i should just wear a sign around my neck that says "kick me when i make an excuse..cause by now im sure my butt would be more sore then it is after a 60 minute box fit workout .
Well, I've read your other posts in other areas of the Forum and I think the only person who can kick you in the pants is YOU. It's time to evaluate where you have slipped up and why and make a plan you can stick to. Yes, we know your daughter has been ill but Life happens.
Maybe South Beach is not the plan for you and calorie counting would work better. It has to be your own decision.
I agree with Ruth, you are the only person who can make it happen. We can encourage and make suggestions but you have got to want it enough to make it your highest priority. I'm sorry your little one has been sick and that your bf left but that is life. No one ever said that life is easy and believe me there are some very successful folks here that are dealing with similiar issues and are getting the job done by taking care of themselves, eating on plan and losing weight. It just boils down to how bad to you want it.
Just a side note, with all you have going on, I'm wondering if depression may be part of it. You might want to consider talking to your doctor.
Hope to hear that you have pulled it all together and are doing better. Good luck.
When I hear about someone in your situation, I think that rather than the *how* of dieting/which diet to pursue, it would be helpful to step back and examine the *why* of what is going wrong and figure out some solutions.
I spent a lot of time last year reading every diet book I could get my hands on, from the goofy trendy ones to more academic works. I learned a lot. I decided to stick with South Beach (with tweaking to reflect what is currently the best knowledge available about a healthy diet... that's a different post entirely) because I think it can be an optimally healthy way of eating. But what really turned me around was a book about cognitive psychology and how it relates to healthy eating/exercise. The book is The Beck Diet Solution: How to Think Like a Thin Person by Judith Beck. It works with any diet plan. It takes you through behavioral steps and destructive thought processes that will thwart you every time and gives you skills to combat them.
Of course, there are no guarantees that this will turn your life around - I certainly manage to screw up plenty even though I have taken all her ideas to heart - but it definitely provides a new perspective and tangible things you can work on rather than just vaguely trying to stick to a diet and being frustrated at yourself when you don't.
I recommend this book so often that I probably sound like I work for Judith Beck (I don't) but in all the reading I have done, that was the book that actually provided a progression of actions that seem to really work. I checked it out from the library and have now finally bought the book. It's worth checking out to give you something to focus on rather than being down on yourself. I hope this suggestion hopes at all!
I guess i can say that i allow myself to screw up once a week..just so that i feel like im human to a degree..in other words : i take a cheat day..im trying to teach myself that one cheat day wont kill me..i guess my thing is..ive never been really good at learning how to succeed with allowing that one day and then getting back on and continuing..Im trying the best that i can..and for those people who say "South beach isnt the way to go for me" ..all i got to say is "uh yes it is..thanks for your opinion but it is and it will be regardless of how many times i screw up..because i know it works and i know that i can do this and im not going to give up on it, just because other people think maybe its not the plan for me".. Lets face it, we all screw up.. i admit it.. i screw up..and other people screw up..and maybe im just harder on myself than most people when it comes to getting back up on plan..but i am going to do this and i am going to learn and im not going to allow a screw up or a binge take control of me and just let me fail and walk away from it..cause then how will i succeed? i would just fail..again..and its not going to happen this time..and ALSO..to the people who say "maybe you have depression or maybe you need to see a doctor"...well, not that its your business to know..but just so you know since you brought it up "Yes i have depression.. I suffer from PPD and I AM on medication that effectively works in dealing with those symptoms of depression" I hate to be the bearer of bad news for people who thought otherwise, but depression medication does not reverse or cure circumstancial depression aka: depression caused by issues or circumstances un-dealt with. Second of all: We do not have Pyscologists or Pysciatrists where i live, the closest one is 4 hours away and it costs money..its not covered under are medical plan..and to see a counsellor you need to be in a position where its an emergent basis...and im nowhere close to being an emergant case....So thanks for your opinion..i appreciate that you would seek to look out for my mental health, however, i have gone down all the possible roads that i can in terms of seeking help for my PPD and i am under the care of a physician on a monthly basis and im doing the best that i can given the resources we have..
For further information.. i just want to say..if your going to kick me in the pants like i ask for..try doing it in a positive way in which your advocating staying on south beach and not switching over to some other diet because you think its not working for me..if i didnt think it was working for me..i wouldnt be on it.. i would have quit altogether..and as you can see from my post..i am alive..well ..and i am working hard to stick with it and figure out how to get through these things..
My two cents - I can't have a cheat day once a week and be successful on South Beach. At least, it's very difficult. We ALL fall off the wagon once in awhile. I had a major mood-related binge last night. But today, I have suffered from it. I've craved sugar ALL DAY, and even went down to the vending machine and had to talk myself out of buying anything. When I don't have a cheat day, I'm not tempted by the vending machine and forget it's even there.
The whole point of Phase 1 is to "detox" your body of all the bad stuff so you can be successful on South Beach, getting rid of those cravings. When you have a cheat day during Phase 2, you're basically wiping out all the hard work you did on Phase 1 and a lot of times you need to start all over again because you gave your body a taste of the bad stuff and it will crave more, thus more and more "oh just a little tonight" and "maybe just a little of this tonight."
If you follow the plan as laid out, you will be successful. If you don't, then good luck to you, but you're not really following South Beach, as it doesn't allow a cheat day. Maybe the Abs Diet is more for you. They allow for a cheat day.
I'm sorry that you don't feel you are getting the support you need. I think we all struggle with falling off the wagon and trying to learn how to get right back on rather than just sink more deeply into a state of discouragement. I will say that it doesn't really seem that you are following South Beach - I rarely see veggies on your menu, and then there is the cheat day. I don't think anyone is saying "don't be here", I think we all just wonder if it's best for you to say you are doing SB, but then not really doing it, and getting discouraged. There are other diets out there that would work better for you, just based on your eating patterns and what you know works for you like the cheat day.
I'm not doing South Beach at the moment but I am reading the book. My two cents is to get through one day, then another, then another until you have succeeded at getting through Phase 1. Just take it one day at a time.
I can't remember the exact wording but the book does say that the first one or two days will be the hardest. By having a "cheat day" or even one off plan item, you are most likely putting your body back to day one or two of the plan ~ setting yourself up for another hard day over and over again.
I don't want to kick you but I will offer you a
Don't think of it as having to get through 2 weeks ~ think of doing it one day at a time, fourteen times.
You can do this! Remember those relatives you want to prove it to? Bring that back and use it for motivation.
I'm sorry, but I have to agree with MmcKellen, your lack of veggies and regular cheat day don't sound at all like SB. My suggestion (not a kick in the pants) is to follow this plan to the letter. It works!
I don't think there is a reason to be indignant. Sometimes a kick in the pants involves advice that you don't want to hear, but the ladies here are experienced and know what they're talking about. They've been pointing out the deficiencies in your meal plan and have answered your questions patiently -- I don't think it's fair to respond so defensively to their comments.
Of course, you have the ultimate control over whether or not you follow South Beach (and, thus, whether or not you have success on it). But, when the same advice is coming from multiple directions, it's worth reflecting on why they might think what they do (even if you believe it not to be correct) at the very least.
In my experience, "cheat days" do not work. I've learned to have a nice meal out with my friend or popcorn at the movies once every two weeks or so, but I don't cheat all day, and I try to stay within my calorie and nutritional ranges.
Cheat days tend to screw up my whole week (fighting the subsequent cravings, trying to lose the water weight, etc.) and I know they just mess things up in the long run.
Also, a friendly word of advice: don't ask for tough love on the internet unless you want to actually get it!
Last edited by ParadiseFalls; 03-11-2011 at 07:59 PM.
I agree, a kick in the pants doesn't mean people should tell you you're doing it right when it isn't. Otherwise you'd ask for high-fives instead
And since you asked for advice for staying on SBD and not switching diets, I'll offer mine
First I have to agree with the others that question your diet choices as being the South Beach Diet. Yet. I've looked over your posted menus and I've not seen one day when you were actually on the South Beach Diet. If you review the sample menus in your book, I think you'll see the difference. Obviously there is no cheat day on SBD either. But more than that, your daily menus have not resembled the guidelines of SBD other than your choice of lean proteins. You are eliminating entire food groups (never a good thing) and if your measurements are accurate, you are not eating enough food and definitely not enough of the right foods. Your choices are very unbalanced and you're shooting yourself in the foot, so to speak.
I'd like to make a few suggestions if you don't mind.
Phase 1 is intended to help reduce cravings so you choose better foods for the rest of your life. Even if you do follow SBD to the letter days 1-6, having your cheat day will undo that and you have to start over again. It's a vicious circle and not good for anyone, especially for someone experiencing depression.
Many dietitians recommend bypassing P1 and going straight into P2 because it's more balanced nutritionally. Since P1 is really just restrictive to help get past the cravings, it may not be for everyone. I think that if you go on to P2, you'll be able to widen your food choices to include fruits (might help your sweet tooth) and limited amounts of whole grains such as your gluten free pasta. But you also need to include your green vegetables, and follow the other guidelines for SBD. Until you can do that, you are not on SBD. You seem to like the idea of being on SBD but you are just on a restrictive diet plan and only part time.
I hope you will consider giving up your cheat day. If you are choosing to follow the SBD, you'll find there is no place for it. Sure, you can occasionally pre-plan a planned cheat meal such as a birthday dinner. But that's just a normal or smaller portion of something not on your approved list. It's not a binge and it's just a rare meal.
It appears that you are using your cheat day to feed your emotions, and there are other ways to do that. My statement is based on your own comments, so I hope it didn't come out the wrong way. You are really not alone in that. Almost all people that overeat do so out of boredom, stress, or other emotions. We did a site survey a few years ago that included over 10,000 visitors and showed that only 3% over-ate due to true hunger. The rest was head hunger.
Anyway, you will be more likely to succeed if you can take some time to figure out why you need the cheat day and take the steps to turn it around.
My suggestions:
A *Get thee to P2 P1 isn't working for you. Try P2 to the letter and see if it is easier for you to follow and stick to.
B *Grab a copy of the Beck Solution Program that focuses on finding out why you make your food choices and involves cognitive therapy to turn it around. The Beck Solution is proven to be one of the most effective diet tools out there. Use it with P2. Cognitive therapy is also very effective for treating depression so you might learn some things to help with the other aspects of your life. Twofer!
C *If necessary, begin with suggestion B and take a few weeks break from SBD then apply one to the other.
All diets work if you stick with them The trick is finding one that fits your personal lifestyle and habits, because that's the one that you will stick with. If you try suggestions such as mine and those by other members that are trying to help you, and you find that you are still not able to stick with the plan, then please consider trying something new. Sometimes we just need to shake things up a little
I know you've said you have a seven month old baby. Are you nursing? Phase 1 isn't recommended for nursing mothers. I'm nursing my baby (he'll be four months old tomorrow) and I skipped Phase 1 and went right to Phase 2 because I didn't want to mess with my milk supply.
But the other gals are right. If you're not following the guidelines of South Beach, it isn't going to work for you. In suggesting an alternative diet I think we're all just saying that maybe if this plan is causing frustration for you, there might be another one out there that would be easier for you to properly follow and would therefore be more successful. No one wants you to leave the forum, but it's also frustrating for us to keep suggesting things to help you (get more veggies in, slowly move into Phase 2, etc.) so you have success on this program and you just blatantly ignore the advice.
Have you read the book? I got it at the library, so I didn't even have to pay for it. If your local library doesn't have it you might be able to inquire if you could interlibrary loan it from a partner library.
Someone please feel free to kick me in the pants..
If you review the sample menus in your book, I think you'll see the difference. Obviously there is no cheat day on SBD either. But more than that, your daily menus have not resembled the guidelines of SBD other than your choice of lean proteins. You are eliminating entire food groups (never a good thing) and if your measurements are accurate, you are not eating enough food and definitely not enough of the right foods. Your choices are very unbalanced and you're shooting yourself in the foot, so to speak.
