No I get how you feel and agree with you. When I started at my current job, I was fat, so i was the fat/big girl. Now that ive lost weight, im the girl who used to be fat. I want to work somewhere where people didnt know me when I was fat and my whole being isnt defined by that. I dont want people to constantly go "wow look at how much weight you've lost etc".
My suggestion update your FB photo with new photos of you OR update photo and only give htem access to particular photo album. Not sure you can do that though but changed your photo on FB. Why have old photos you dont like when you look so great?
Yeah, if the old pics of you are only in a few specific albums, you can add them as friends and then promptly go to album privacy, where you can make specific albums available to friends "except:" and then list their names. Then they can see most of your pictures, just not the few old albums.
Ahh i'm been slacking on replying to my own thread haha
Little update!
So this came up at work last night and the guys promptly went on and friended me right then and there and I was trapped. I had previously decided that I would just accept the requests and not private anything.
Well, they saw my profile and my pictures and being typical guys there were fairly clueless at first.
They did however notice "something different" and they pondered it for a while. Everything from my hair to "are you just really pale in these pics?"
Finally one guy noticed and said "your face looks a lot more round in these pics than it does now" They all agreed and there was one kinda long silence. I believe they all came to the "oh she lost weight" realization but were courteous and didnt say anything.
Then they moved on to talking about a coworkers birthday party....
I love how guys just dont seem to care as much. The topic was dropped and their interactions with me didnt change. They still continues to innocently flirt and everything is good
Bet you anything that the guy that blurted "your face looks a lot rounder..." instantly felt like a bit of a douche. And then all proceeded on with life. As men do!
The funny thing is, I dont think he did, or even realized what he said haha
I'm not even upset about it, I actually feel really comfortable.
I'm so happy to have the interaction I do with the guys, they're all very fun.
I can understand this, because my weight has shifted up and down several times in the past 5 years. I HAVE noticed a difference in how guys in general treat me. Anyway, but the guys I interact with at college are very kind and nice and even though they've seen me struggle they still treat me like a human being. If the guys you work with are good people, they'll still be kind and fun to hang out with you. Besides, maybe they won't even look at the pictures. And if someone does bring it up, you could have a reply ready. I'm not sure what that would be for you, but it might help. But I honestly think it'll be ok for you.
You Still can't accept who you used to be. So how could you want them to accept you for that. Oh Wait...They don't have to. You really need to stop being embaressed about who you are. Most people dont' reflect on formerly obese people as bad, actually the opposite- inspired and moved by your desire to be healthier and different. Let go of your past guilt, you were who you were. Nothing wrong with that. Seriously.
BTW, you should not be so hard on yourself, you were indeed overweight but that did not make you Obese or even ugly looking. I feel fantastic in the 160's and we are the same height, lol. I know to each their own but the point is Your Self Perception (of your past self )will end up being you own worst enemy.
The "fat" you deserves everything the "thin" you does.
That means she deserves all the love, friendship and kindness that the thin you does.
I have been bigger and smaller than my current weight and have seen peoples reaction of me be very different depending on what my "package" looks like.
But nothing, not one thing about my package, no matter what it looks like, can compare to the beautiful divinity that is at the center of me.
And that goes for all of the beautiful lights that inspire me everyday on this board!
Take the fat you and shower her with all the love you have for the thin you. And watch her step into who you are today. She deserves to be loved by you too. Don't reject any part of you. Embrace all of you. Even the you you wished you never were. You were her for a reason. She gave you the extra padding to lessen whatever blows she though she was getting.
If people can't love you unconditionally then they don't deserve to love you or to have your unconditional love in return.
eeeks( yeah i either don't post every pic or just limit access. i totally understand how you feel about this. however, from my own experiences and reading dating forums, alot of guys will run if they think a girl ever had an extra ounce(( never mind their own body type( apparently because they assume that you will automatically gain it back. and, it's very hard to change how other people see you, even if you lost 100 pounds. once men get a picture in their mind, it stays there, no matter how wrong it might be. i think it must be something like a man has a pic in his head of you (me) with original hair color, body type, foods eaten, or whatever, and that is fixed no matter what the reality in front of him is. i was in near weekly conversations about natural food and supplements for months and someone thought they had to clarify to me "no, i mean the NATURAL version" of the food. and then a few months later his mouth hit the floor when he saw me in a fitted sleeveless shirt. for real.
i see alot of people like those kind of moments, and sometimes i might but most of the time i don't. because i dont' like hearing all the "where's the rest of ya'" crap in public where strangers are around, etc. partly because, in their minds, i still look big, and that would just leave them wondering just how huge this person really was???? as for that particular guy i mentioned above, i think there was no changing what he thought. he wanted a woman with white hair, and i got white hair, but i think he must have always looked at me seeing in his mind my original hair color and may have been afraid i'd change it back. so i've learned the hard way that a man usually cannot ever have seen you looking any way other than how you look now if you want him to like you. i do know women who are with men and the women have changed shapes through the years and the men have stayed. i envy them too, because that doesn't happen very often nowadays.
with you working in the fitness industry, you will have an advantage of your own struggle that you overcame. there may be a few men who will respect that.
I know you don't want to be known as the "former fat girl". But there is so much more power in owning it and taking pride in your accomplishment. You have done an amazing thing. Be proud, if it comes up - acknowledge it and move on.
I agree, I think the fact that I've had such success myself, will give me an advantage in my career.
I find it really interesting that I don't like to tell people I have lost a lot of weight. This is true for new female friends as well, It just makes me very uncomfortable.
"People that cause you pain are like sandpaper...they may scratch you & hurt you but you'll come out smooth and polished."
from kellymarie90 ....
I love THIS!
WHAT A GREAT AND TRUE motto!
guys can be pretty cool people.
( yeah i either don't post every pic or just limit access. i totally understand how you feel about this. however, from my own experiences and reading dating forums, alot of guys will run if they think a girl ever had an extra ounce
