WOW!
Breathe!
Take a step back and look at what you have already accomplished. You cannot tackle everything at once, (no one can). So just start with things one at a time.
You cannot control your mom, or what she eats, or how she loses weight, or if she goes to rehab.
You can look online at a site like livestrong.com and put in your height and weight, and weight loss goals and it will give you calorie information, how many you need to eat etc. It also has a food log feature.
Start small and take care of yourself. Remember to BREATHE and walk away if you need to.
It is very apparent that you are feeling overwhelmed--and I totally understand why with everything you have going on.
I agree with the other poster that taking a deep breath and focusing on what you have accomplished will give you an inner peace. Then, take small steps to get to where you want to be.
Keep your focus, keep your plan, and remember we are here to listen when you need to talk.
Ignore everything u typed & that is on Your mind & put u first ~that is the only way u can suceed sounds like to me with the craziness happening around & too you...Ignore,mothers,boyfriends, ect.~You have to do this on your own & there will be people out to make it not happen ~u gotta put it in your mind that it is going to happen regardless of what anyone throws at ya~Including life & Go for it & hang in there.~U CAN DO IT! JUST TELL YOURSELF U ARE WORTH IT & DO IT & SHOW EVERYONE U DID IT! (if u need a friend messsage me ~I am online most everyday) I had a mother laugh & eat everytime I was on the phone with her On how she weighed so much less than me ~now she has gained all her weight back up to around my start weight & I am in the 130's~I let her go in one ear & out the other & finally just told her to leave me alone...(Just as an example) I told my kids I wasswitching the food in the house & they did not like it but they dealt with it & they have lost too because of it....YIPPIE! Anyways...Just put your weight loss yout top priority & U will & can achieve your goal.
I'm so depressed today that I feel like going back to my self abuse
It is very apparent that you are feeling overwhelmed--and I totally understand why with everything you have going on. 
