Body Image and Issues after Weight Loss Including discussions about excess skin and reconstructive surgery

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Old 10-01-2010, 11:22 AM   #16  
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Who cares?! I'm so sorry. That sounds awfully rude. If I were saying it to you in person the words would come with a gentle hug around the shoulders.

I suppose in the interest of conversation, I'd say semantically there's a difference between skinny and thin. Thin I think is ideal and skinny is an insult. (Unless followed by "minnie" as in "Skinny Minnie". ) LOL!

But my dear...not only is skinny/thin subjective, it's subjective from person to person even as they look at you! Some people will think you're too thin, some too fat, some will not notice you at all because you may just be completely normal.

.
Exactly. Which is why I responded - oy.

And please forgive me OP, I usually appreciate, understand and get the gist of your threads. This one - not so much.
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Old 10-01-2010, 12:55 PM   #17  
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Im not sure why people dont see the value in this thread.

I didnt even infer that there was any positive or negative association with the word skinny.

I took it at a bit deeper level, which is a big question I am currently grappling with...what weight should I be. There arent many lbs left to lose, and knowing that I dont always perceive the reality of my body it seems like a hard thing to navigate where I should end up...and moreover how I will feel about it.
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Old 10-01-2010, 01:04 PM   #18  
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Im not sure why people dont see the value in this thread.
.
I guess I feel that it's just too broad of a topic, too much of a range and too self specific to be able to get anything from it.

I'm glad you've gotten something from it though, but for me, it's like asking "what's pretty?"
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Old 10-01-2010, 01:31 PM   #19  
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Im not sure why people dont see the value in this thread.

I didnt even infer that there was any positive or negative association with the word skinny.

I took it at a bit deeper level, which is a big question I am currently grappling with...what weight should I be. There arent many lbs left to lose, and knowing that I dont always perceive the reality of my body it seems like a hard thing to navigate where I should end up...and moreover how I will feel about it.
I think MY issue with it is that I worry about the OP. Sorry! I do though! Ncuneo, I worry that you are so unhappy with what you've accomplished and so concerned about how others view you. I felt like that when I was tiny in college and it was horrible because it was so real. My feelings (and your feelings) were valid. I genuinely hated my body and myself. When I gained weight, that naturally got no better!! So now that I'm in the 160's, I have new eyes! And I guess I wish that for everyone. This time I'm rejoicing at each and every milestone, or pound dropped. I feel great today and I know tomorrow I'll feel fabulous! I was able to look in the mirror at 200 pounds and smile!! What a difference from the girl who thought 113 pounds was fat.

I guess that what I want for you. And that's why I don't get anything out of this thread.

Last edited by Eliana; 10-01-2010 at 01:32 PM.
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Old 10-01-2010, 03:20 PM   #20  
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I think MY issue with it is that I worry about the OP. Sorry! I do though! Ncuneo, I worry that you are so unhappy with what you've accomplished and so concerned about how others view you.
Don't worry about me In general the thread was started out of boredom. This morning I was thinking about it and actually I came to the same conclusion as you and Robin - who cares!? I mean really in the end all that matters is that we are all comfortable in our own skin. And if we are and others opinions of whether we are slim, trim, slender, skinny or whatever other adjective you want to use still matter...well then...maybe we need to dig a little deeper.

I am absolutely thrilled with my results thus far, could not be happier. Do I go through times, of oh well, I wish I could lose a little more, or oh I wish these stretch marks weren't here, of course - that's just the nature of being a women and going through a massive body transformation I think.

I think my curiousity though was more of know what skinny was to people...and I actually learned something, because the majority of people's opinions on what skinny is is different that mine. It seems that skinny actually has quite a negative conotation to most around here which I found quite interesting.

I guess since having my son, I've learned that a lot of things I thought were important just aren't and for a moment I reverted back to that girl who wonder am I skinny? And to be honest, I'll probably always have some insecurtiy with my body, mainly because that was kind of the way I was raised. My mom has always been super insecure and that I was never really taught to love my body for what it was and growing up, it was pretty great. Unfortunately, I didn't realize that until now. But now for a 31 year old mom who's just lost 122 lbs, I really can't ask for more! Thanks guys for keeping me in check!
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Old 10-01-2010, 03:34 PM   #21  
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I wasn't worried about you. Really, I wasn't. I think you've got your head screwed on quite well!!

And I hope you know I meant zero disrespect towards you. I think the world of you and what you've accomplished and how you accomplished it and how you are looking to future so that you can continue to accomplish it.

I know you like to hear different perspectives and compare them and what not. I just thought that this particular thread had too much variances and other people's opinion don't make that much (if any) difference to how we live our lives.

I look forward though to more thread starters from you in the future (mostly ). Just kidding.
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Old 10-01-2010, 03:49 PM   #22  
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Thanks Robin, I always appreciate your opinion and I didn't feel disrespected at all! Hopefully I'll have some quality threads in my future LOL
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Old 10-02-2010, 08:57 AM   #23  
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...and I actually learned something, because the majority of people's opinions on what skinny is is different that mine. It seems that skinny actually has quite a negative conotation to most around here which I found quite interesting.
I found this interesting as well because to me, "skinny" has a positive connotation. Maybe it's regional or something. But around here, calling someone "too skinny" could only be followed up with, "and you have too much money and your clothes are too fabulous." Seriously, unless someone is unwell, skinny here is good.
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Old 10-02-2010, 01:11 PM   #24  
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i think too skinny is when you can see someones rib bones i dont mind the collar bones or hips too much because that more just depends on body type, my collar bones show a little now and im still at a bmi of 38, but if you can count someones ribs they are too skinny
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Old 10-02-2010, 10:19 PM   #25  
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I found this interesting as well because to me, "skinny" has a positive connotation. Maybe it's regional or something. But around here, calling someone "too skinny" could only be followed up with, "and you have too much money and your clothes are too fabulous." Seriously, unless someone is unwell, skinny here is good.
I find this fascinating. I teach English as a Second Language to adults and international college students, and with my advanced students we spend a lot of time discussing the connotations of language. I usually use "skinny," "thin," and "slender" as examples of negative, neutral, and positive connotation for words that have basically the same literal meaning.

I wonder if this is a regional thing, or if the idea of what "skinny" is has changed? Honestly, when I hear the word skinny I think bony and sharp and somewhat unhealthy (those are, obviously, my own feelings on a word). I don't think those things with "thin."

In any case, now I have to find another example to use with my students! I do always warn them, though, that often the same word might have different connotations to different people, depending on culture, background, region, etc. Now I can use this as an example of that.
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Old 10-02-2010, 11:02 PM   #26  
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"Skinny" to me means coltish & knobby-kneed, in an awkward kind of way. Particularly very young girls, who are all legs & don't quite have a womanly shape yet, or elderly ladies, who have fragile-looking arms & legs & rather skull-like heads & big dentures.

But that's me personally. I think the culture has changed "skinny" into a compliment, and one sign of this is the "Skinny B---" books. Those women took an insult & turned it into something for bragging rights. I'd mark that as one of the largest signs in the turnabout of the connotations behind this word.

For me, skinny is exhausting, physically & mentally. I've done skinny. Since I'm a pear, by the time my lower half got to skinny, my top half was too skinny. My neck was ropey. My teeth looked huge. My nose got prominent. My legs always had bruises; I seemed to get hurt more often. One annoyance: I had a lot of trouble pushing open the heavy glass doors at my local bank. Also, as a curious side note, my shoes fit weirdly. Since my feet stayed about the same width across the toes, due to a lot of that being bones, while my heels shrank, as that part of your foot is padded mainly with fat, I couldn't find shoes that would stay on me. They all slipped off in back & spanked my heel when I walked. I always felt like I was wearing mules. Also, my feet hurt a lot more on the bottoms if I stood for a long time. Because there was less fat padding the soles. Sort of like the butt-bone problem.)
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Old 10-03-2010, 06:49 AM   #27  
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No negative connotations with "skinny" in my world. "You look skinny," is a compliment. I rarely hear people say "slender".

Last edited by My Michelle; 10-03-2010 at 06:50 AM.
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Old 10-03-2010, 07:14 AM   #28  
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I'm also one that associates "skinny" with un healthy.

Growing up as a teenager I was always overweight and had a friend who was effortlessly slim. I used to call her a skinny cow, and it was always in a jealous way, masked as a joke.

Slim, yes. Skinny, no.

And yet, the top half of my body could be described as skinny to some. I have jutting collar bones and looking in the mirror you can see my ribs ABOIVE my boobs.

But round my belly and hips I am still carrying a lot of fat - I have handfuls of back fat and a belly I can lift up and wobble at you. My thighs are hefty and my calves are large.

Even when I was at my lowest weight of 129 I still had a fair bit of fat in the tummy area. I never considered myself as skinny while I still had hanging flab.
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Old 10-09-2010, 10:48 AM   #29  
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This is SUCH a good question! Unfortunately (in my opinion) the answer is subjective. I have had people I haven't seen in a while say "You're so skinny!" but obviously at 194 I am NOT skinny. Thinner, yes. Look better, yes. Healthier, yes. But skinny? Not yet.

Personally I hate the word. I had a 'friend' who would embarass me everytime we were in a group of people, including some I didn't know at all or didn't know when I was big, by saying 'look how skinny she is! Isn't she so skinny??' and of course they feel obligated to agree but I sit there and squirm knowing they are thinking 'this girl is not skinny...' I don't think people (including friends) understand how hard it is to transition into being a thin(er) person.

It seems to me that no matter what you look like (too big, too small) someone will have a comment to make about it. Skinny/too skinny is a matter of opinion, of which yours is the only one that matters.
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