Ok, am I the only one that just noticed that this smilie
turns from a smiley face to a bat?? Go Amy...real quick on the uptake there...
I am...ok. I feel like I've been hit by a Mack truck and someone forgot to tell me until today. My muscles ache, I have a headache, and I'm just mentally and physically exausted.
For those of you who are new or dont remember me mentioning this before, I struggle with a lot of loneliness and isolation. I live alone, I am in a long distance relationship and I dont have many friends. The only reason I mention all this is because I'm sure some people must think it kind of foolish to be so upset over a cat. But that cat was my source of comfort and companionship when no one else was there, which was much of the time. He was so sweet and loving. He was very talkative, especially when I got home from work. He would meow and meow at me... Now its just quiet.
I am finding so many things that I would do because/for him that I dont do now. Like making sure the toilet seat is down so he wouldnt drink out of it or keeping my bedroom door closed so he couldnt pee on my bed just in case he developed another bladder infection. These things sound really dumb, but I got home last night and went into my room to change my clothes and closed the door. Then I realized it didnt matter anymore. I just didnt matter.
I cleaned up his water fountain and am going to try to sell it at the yard sale. I bought on eBay for $30 only like a month ago as a last-ditch effort to stop all the bladder infections he was having (it circulates and filters the water, encouraging them to drink more, etc). I just replaced the filter on it the day before yesterday. I am also going to put his little placemat in the "free" bin (its scratched up so not worth selling but still pretty cute) and the leftover litter I guess I will give to my sister. I still have about 1/2 bag of prescription food left over so I am going to give that to my bro and sis in law because they buy that for thier cats. I am keeping his food dish as a memento. Its white ceramic and says "Paris-L.A." etc around the rim. He was so fancy.
Anyway, I got a lot of stuff done for the yard sale last night. I cleaned out all the CDs, movies, and books I dont use anymore and am going to sell those, too. I found a lot of stuff I was "keeping just to keep" and I'm getting rid of all of that. I hope it goes well. I may place an ad in the newspaper to get people there, who knows. At least its keeping me busy.
I called the place I applied for the apt at and they said the only things they need are to verify my current employment and my status in Mary Kay. Apparently they heard on my voice mail that I am a MK consultant. I am getting out of it so it doesnt matter now and I tried to tell them that, but they still wanted to talk to someone to verify I am still an active consultant. Not sure who they are going to contact since we are all independent and I dont have a "boss" per se, but I gave them my unit leader's email (I havent done anything on my MK in so long I dont even have her ph # anymore) so hopefully that will be ok. The apts are considered "affordable housing" i.e. they have an income cap to live there, so I hope me being a MK consultant wont put me over the limit or anything. I have barely made any profit off my MK since I started. I have been selling most things at cost so I can at least recoup my investment. I'm just worried about what my unit leader will tell them and if it will hurt me getting the apt. I gave my notice at work today and have already given notice at my apt--what am I supposed to do if I have no where to move to????
Anyway, My sister-in-law sent me this poem. I thought it was pretty touching:
Yours Was the Cat of Cats
You won't be able to read this
Even though it contains a kiss
For your cheek, my dears
To help dry some of your tears,
But your cat was truly one
Masterful son of a gun
A cat among cats of power
and of stature by the hour
He wasn't one to back off
Or never one to scoff
He was a fur ball of delight
And he gave life a good fight,
We all know how you grieve
And that your heart will leave,
And travel to those clouds
To see him in those crowds
Of adoring felines many,
In fact he will see plenty
Of his true old friends up there
So stop and say a prayer,
For all the cats on high
That play ball in the sky,
Whene'er you chance to see
Clouds which appear to be
Chasing each other's tails
Not making any wails,
For those are kitties too
Playing sky tag in the blue.
Cry it is really okay,
Your kitty waits the day
When you will come and play,
In your heart he'll ever stay.
Yours Was The Cat of Cats
M.J.M.(80) @1999
I can only say that I've felt that gaping hole in my heart. I just wish I could ease your grief. You truly had his best interests at heart, and you were NOT being selfish. You could never foresee what happened - even the vet couldn't! I'm glad that the life he had was filled with you and your love. I bet he's waiting on the far side of the rainbow bridge now, making faces at my dear Peter once in a while, just for fun. (A wise dog always knows that cats rule.) 
Im still targeting 5 pounds a month . but happy for the extra as Im sure it will be something I will look back on later when the scale gets stubborn.
Kind of a downer post, feel free to skip
