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Discouraged And Wondering What's The Point

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Old 10-13-2013, 06:58 AM   #1
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Unhappy Discouraged And Wondering What's The Point

Hi everyone,

Long time lurker just looking to vent a bit. I lost 80 + pounds last year/this year by following WW, coming down from near 400 to where I am now, teetering between 315 and 307. I got down as low as 292 for awhile but couldn't maintain it. My problem, besides being stuck, is that I don't feel any better. My clothes fit slightly different but not enough to go on some new buying spree. I lost, I'd say one size, coming down from 30/32 to 26/28. I'm still exhausted and sleepy all the time. Worst of all, I'm still in terrible pain. As best I can figure my stomach is so big and heavy it's pull forwards and down causes me excruciating back pain. I can't sit for too long, I can't stand for too long. Every decision to do something interesting or fun or the slightest bit taxing has to be weighed against the pain it will cause and whether or not it's even worth it. it usually isn't.

I'm a night owl so I see all these people on infomercial and their lives have completely changed by losing 20, 30, 40 pounds. I've lost over twice that and it's made no difference in my life whatsoever. None. I know it's an ad and they were paid for their portrayals but...They're so happy! Their lives are totally different! They feel better, they sleep better, they live better. And here I sit, absolutely miserable at one point having lost nearly 100 pounds total. I don't even know where this mystery 80 pounds disappeared from. Not my stomach, not my butt or thighs. I notice a slight difference in my neck and shoulders..but that's it. So essentially nowhere useful.

I'm just discouraged. I'm starting to feel like what's the point? Life is hard right now, I'm single, depressed, no job, no money, struggling through my Masters degree and on top of all of that I can't just drown my sorrows in a pizza. I busted my *** for a year to drop this weight and honestly it feels like it was absolutely pointless. Why devote another year or more to this? Why struggle?

I'm getting to the point where I just don't care anymore.

Anyone else out there ever felt this way? Anyone else lost a lot of weight and not felt the slightest bit better?

Sorry for the rant, it's nearly 5AM, I can't sleep and just needed to get this out.
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Old 10-13-2013, 07:29 AM   #2
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First of all, let me congratulate you on your loss! I am someone who has "only" 40 lbs to lose, and I feel overwhelmed all the time and wonder "what's the ppint". I have huge respect for you - you have lost so much weight, you have a big journey ahead - and obviously you manage! You should be very, very proud of yourself!!!

I think it is very wrong to compare yourself to "infomercials". Everybody is different. You are different. And I am sure that there is some effect - but maybe you do not realize it. I for example do not realize changes etc - but my environment does....

What might keep you going is looking at some of the awesome transformations in the goal section. Just looking at these inspiring ladies makes me keep on going. The change is simply incredible

I think you are doing great and pls continue your journey! You know what they say: the darkest time is before dawn... In one year you will be happy that you continued your journey....
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Old 10-13-2013, 07:42 AM   #3
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I am so sorry you feel this way.

I have not lost an significant weight, but I have felt so down to the point of not caring anymore or 'what's the point?"

I don't have any magic words, but I do know you should not give up! You have come so far and it is so inspiring!!

I hope you stop lurking and come around here for support....

You can do this!!!
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Old 10-13-2013, 08:07 AM   #4
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I'm sorry you're feeling badly.

Congrats on the weight loss so far! I have lost around 75 pounds so far & I have also found myself feeling like what is the point sometimes. Although 75 pounds is a big achievement... still having another 100+ to lose is discouraging.

But, living a healthier lifestyle isn't just about losing weight. Any quick fix wouldn't last anyways it's something you'll have to always work at. I'm trying to see it as I am doing small things to gradually get healthier & the weight loss is a byproduct of that.

You should keep going because eventually it will pay off! If you keep doing healthy things for yourself you will eventually start to feel better. & You're worth being nice to (so be nice to yourself!)
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Old 10-13-2013, 11:05 AM   #5
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Congratulations on your weight loss to date! It is an amazing accomplishment, and I can imagine your body (inside -- organs, etc.) IS benefiting from it!

I'm so sorry things feel so hard for you right now. Having a lot of weight to lose often comes with those feelings, and they are a b*tch to struggle through, indeed.

I was reading your post and wondering if you've had a chance to look at before and after photos of yourself? Sometimes it's hard to see changes until we can compare our current selves to our former selves.

Also, I have to ask about your scale -- do you think it is reliable? Additionally, sometimes it takes a while for weight loss to become visible on us when we have a lot to lose. However, I suspect if you keep at this you WILL notice changes and sooner than later, and be celebrating with excitement! I know it seems daunting, hopeless, and pointless, but please stick with it and you will be so, so very happy down the road that you did because you WILL see changes visibly, hopefully be more comfortable physically, and be investing in your future health.
Take care of yourself.
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Old 10-13-2013, 12:36 PM   #6
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I am so with you.

I go through this feeling all too often. 64 lbs down, but still 130 to go...it's hard to look at what I have lost when I still only see what I have still to lose.

Have you tried any kind of exercise? I know you say it hurts, and everything hurt with me too when I first started. But I went easy and built up. Now things hurt less! Sure I still have aches and pains, but some of those will never go away.

As far as clothes, you may be down more sizes than you think. I noticed that I was still looking at and putting on baggy hide everything clothes, so it didn't seem like I went down many sizes. A friend if mine made me look in a mirror bad I realized how big everything was. Right that minute I bought some new things and they were 4 sizes smaller! For the record I still wear most of my bigger clothes because I am cheap and I don't want to buy a new wardrobe , correction, I don't want to PAY for a new wardrobe every few months..

You are doing great. 80 lbs is significant! Don't give up, try adding a bit of exercise and you will start feeling better!

*hugs*
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Old 10-13-2013, 03:25 PM   #7
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First of all, weight loss from now on will impact clothing sizes much more. There is a size range where you have to loose a lot to go down 1 size. As you move along, weight limits will be more in the 20 lbs and then in the 10 lbs ranges.

Second, reorganize your life. I am a night person myself, but have noticed that I need to get to bed ideally before midnight or else I will accumulate a lot of water weight. Your body functions on an internal clock and all your hormones and organs (heart etc) will be affected if you stay up late at night. Set up a new routine and take melatonin if necessary to help you fall asleep earlier. Stress also amplifies this. Therefore, you may experience a lot of water retention that masks weight loss. I had that in the past.

In addition to that, start exercising. I was also in a state where everything hurts and as a poster above said, this will worsen a bit when you start working out. But after a while you will see the tremendous benefits. I lost a lot of inches fast doing Jillian Michaels 30-day shred. It is only 30 min a day. You will hurt in the beginning, but you will also see rapid changes in your body. It will also help you tolerate stress better and rebalance your hormones to make you a happier person. It may also help you lose weight after a plateau. Just give it a try. It certainly is better time management compared to infomercials. And focus on your masters degree. Life will be different after you get your degree.
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Old 10-13-2013, 05:12 PM   #8
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Everything can feel a little discouraging at five in the morning when you haven't slept! Lots of sympathy to you there. I hope you've managed to get some rest and are feeling a bit more hopeful.

I think it's often tempting to give up when we don't see enough of a change or the going gets rough. I bet you have had classes that have been very difficult while working towards your masters degree but you haven't given up! You've continued on and know that those courses were only a means to an end.

You've done so well with your weight loss! I would encourage you to keep going and push past this stage. Eventually you will see a difference and hopefully feel it as well. What is the alternative?

Stay strong and keep posting so we can encourage you!
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Old 10-13-2013, 05:36 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Teresa_Gonzalez View Post
Long time lurker just looking to vent a bit. I lost 80 + pounds last year/this year by following WW, coming down from near 400 to where I am now, teetering between 315 and 307. I got down as low as 292 for awhile but couldn't maintain it. My problem, besides being stuck, is that I don't feel any better. My clothes fit slightly different but not enough to go on some new buying spree. I lost, I'd say one size, coming down from 30/32 to 26/28. I'm still exhausted and sleepy all the time. Worst of all, I'm still in terrible pain. As best I can figure my stomach is so big and heavy it's pull forwards and down causes me excruciating back pain.
Well, I can kind of relate in that a lot of things I thought were going to happen at a lower weight didn't happen. I still have ice cream cone legs leading to chafing... I still have weird fat gaps on my arms. I still have some pain in my feet.

But two points..
(1) what is the alternative? To gain some back? How would that help?
(2) I have been amazed as I do this that sometimes, I can lose like 10 lbs and my entire world can change. Just 10 lbs can be the difference between pain and not fitting into clothing. Maybe that point for you is at 280!!

Finally I hear you are stuck. Well, I would recommend doing something that works for me every time. Zig Zagging. In other words, instead of eating the same thing every day... (which I think your body gets used to) you take like 2 days per week when you eat more and then, make up for it on the other days.

Like this..
Monday: 1800
Tuesday: 1800
Wednesday: 1500
Thursday: 1500
Friday: 1500
Saturday: 1200
Sunday: 1200

So you average is the same. I swear this works amazing for me. I always get stuck when I eat the same for a while.

Also if you are tired, are you getting a good multivitamin? Enough b12? I know I went through a bad period of fatigue this year and eventually it was obvious my multi was not complete enough. Once I supplemented with the right stuff things go so much better.
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Old 10-13-2013, 05:38 PM   #10
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Old 10-13-2013, 06:05 PM   #11
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"Zig zagging" works for me too.

I do weight watchers, so the points are the points...but I change it up, every other day I eat half of my activity points, or stay under my daily points.

But yes, our tricky bodies get used to the same, and learn to be very efficient on what we feed them!
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Old 10-14-2013, 09:47 AM   #12
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I am sorry that you are feeling discouraged.

I bet that you are not far from feeling the difference. When I first started, my doctor told me that losing just 20 pounds would make my knees feel better but it didn't. I was around 250 before I felt any difference.

You are working on your Master's so you are an educated person. Think about when you got your Bachelor's degree. During your freshman year, did you dwell on having to go to college for 4 years? I bet you did not but instead took it one semester at a time. Weight loss is very similar. Don't dwell on the amount of time that it will take to loss weight. Break it down into small manageable goals and focus on that. Maybe start with 10 or 5 pound goals.

You have been successful in other things and you can be successful with weight loss also. You can do this!
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Old 10-14-2013, 11:43 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Teresa_Gonzalez View Post
Hi everyone,

Long time lurker just looking to vent a bit. I lost 80 + pounds last year/this year by following WW, coming down from near 400 to where I am now, teetering between 315 and 307. I got down as low as 292 for awhile but couldn't maintain it. My problem, besides being stuck, is that I don't feel any better. My clothes fit slightly different but not enough to go on some new buying spree. I lost, I'd say one size, coming down from 30/32 to 26/28. I'm still exhausted and sleepy all the time. Worst of all, I'm still in terrible pain. As best I can figure my stomach is so big and heavy it's pull forwards and down causes me excruciating back pain. I can't sit for too long, I can't stand for too long. Every decision to do something interesting or fun or the slightest bit taxing has to be weighed against the pain it will cause and whether or not it's even worth it. it usually isn't.

I'm a night owl so I see all these people on infomercial and their lives have completely changed by losing 20, 30, 40 pounds. I've lost over twice that and it's made no difference in my life whatsoever. None. I know it's an ad and they were paid for their portrayals but...They're so happy! Their lives are totally different! They feel better, they sleep better, they live better. And here I sit, absolutely miserable at one point having lost nearly 100 pounds total. I don't even know where this mystery 80 pounds disappeared from. Not my stomach, not my butt or thighs. I notice a slight difference in my neck and shoulders..but that's it. So essentially nowhere useful.

I'm just discouraged. I'm starting to feel like what's the point? Life is hard right now, I'm single, depressed, no job, no money, struggling through my Masters degree and on top of all of that I can't just drown my sorrows in a pizza. I busted my *** for a year to drop this weight and honestly it feels like it was absolutely pointless. Why devote another year or more to this? Why struggle?

I'm getting to the point where I just don't care anymore.

Anyone else out there ever felt this way? Anyone else lost a lot of weight and not felt the slightest bit better?

Sorry for the rant, it's nearly 5AM, I can't sleep and just needed to get this out.

I’ll be honest – I really do hate those “OMG, I’m so happy that I’m skinny now!” people/commercials because in all honesty – we need to live our lives with joy daily and not wait for tomorrow because it is not promised. Now, I’m not saying that wanting to lose weight is bad but sometimes that belief (Happy once I’m thin) reinforces the thought that all fat people are sad, depressed, overeating slobs who deserve to be treated like they are invisible until they do something (like become thin) which makes them worth the effort of being noticed by society. Anyway, enough ranting on that…lol

I’m going through that “what’s the point” phase myself right now. I’ve lost 67 lbs so far (my ultimate goal is somewhere between 150-170 lbs) and I still have a long ways to go too. I’ve often wondered “why am I doing this” because nothing will change in my life – I’ll still be single (with no prospects), no kids. I’ll still have an MBA too (lol) – none of that is going to change with a weight loss. Shoot, I’m still looking for the answer, so until that happens I just focus on the NSVs (non-scale victories) which reminds me to keep going as there is a point to all of this eventually.

You probably have lots of NSVs now so write them down – even if they are small such as a ring/bracelet fitting better or being able to buckle your seat belt with extra room to spare. These will add up I promise you and once you begin to notice the changes, you will want to see more. Also, weight loss is 80% what you eat and 20% physical exercise – what that means is exercise is to improve health so if you are not feeling physically better, you may need to start working out more (or doing something different).

Anyway, I do wish you the best in this journey and like others have said – don’t be a lurker! These ladies here are FAB and are a great support system.
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Old 10-14-2013, 12:23 PM   #14
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Keep going. The end-game prize is so worth it.
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Old 10-14-2013, 12:41 PM   #15
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you might not feel all the benefits just yet, but you WILL soon. you have accomplished so much already, and you've shown yourself that you CAN do it. I can imagine that it's frustrating to know all the work involved and not seeing a payoff, and wondering why go on. but like someone else said, the alternative is not so great either.
i say stay here, find support, and keep finding the motivation to continue.
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