Well, today my husband just lost his part time job, the only thing that was keeping us floating this summer. He works full time as well, but I have been doing sub work for the school district to help ends meet & have had no work this summer of course.
Money is so tight that in order to afford gas for my husband to get to work, I have to go stand in line at the food bank and get a free handout. It turns out they give about $50-$70 worth of free food away and all you have to do is live in the area. Do you have any idea how embarissing it is to be 300+ and go stand in line to get free food.
Our truck would not start yesterday and our van has one wheel that is about to blow any minute & a second one that is not far behind it. All I want to do is eat! I actually dreamed of eating at old country buffet last night, I ate and ate, but just could not get enough. I can't eat of course, because the adult/mom part of me says it is foolish to eat all the food in the house, when Ihave a family to feed. But the desire and out right cravings are really pushing me and I've been crying since this morning.
On a comical note (becuase crying is not working...lords knows I've tried)...perhaps poverty will the the weight loss plan the works for me!
Are any of you stress eaters? How do you handle it?
I'm so sorry you're having an icky time right now, Whereabouts do you live? Maybe we can all help and look online for resources for you. How old are your kids? Maybe you all would qualify for WIC, food stamps, etc. Those programs aren't quite as public as standing in line for food.
I can't imagine the stress you're going through right now.
I want you to know that you're not a bad person because you weigh 300 lbs., and you're not a bad person because you're in a tough spot financially. You're not a bad person because you're standing in line for free food. You're not a bad person because you're a stress eater, or because you're crying.
You're not a bad person.
You're a good person having a tough time and dealing with things the best way you know how to. You're also a long stronger than you know, and the fact that you're not ripping people apart is proof of that.
I've found that I still eat emotionally, but far less than I used to. The trick for me was awareness and non-judgment. When I realize I do it, I'll ask myself, "Am I doing this because I'm stressed? Or am I really hungry?"
If it's the first, I try to put the food down. If I finish the brownie, or whatever, I try not to beat myself up about it. I had a moment. Moments pass.
I'm in this for the long haul, and there's bound to be garbage that comes up along the way. It's just a moment, and moments pass.
Hang in there. You have strangers (and strange people, too!) rooting for you.
Silvermama, I definitely agree with EarthShaker. What a terrible time you are facing! You are such a great person for doing what you need to do for your family, even though it feels embarrassing. What you are going through is completely unfair.
First of all, not that I can completely understand because everyone's situation is different, but I had a similar situation a couple years ago. It was so embarrassing going to the food bank I felt and I thought people were totally judging my weight as well. It is just such a blow to your sense of self worth. After going through that I have now become fiercely passionate about human rights
Food is a human right...it is NOT a privilege. Whether you are 150 lbs or 300lbs, going through an easy time, going through a rough time, human beings have a right to adequate nutrition. I now work at the same food bank I used to go to, and think how unfair a situation these people are in and I hope they don't think I am judging them because 1) I have been there too and 2) food is all of our right and we deserve to have it. I make sure to be as social as possible when I am there so people feel safe and welcomed there. I hope there are servers at that food bank who will do the same for you because you deserve to feel safe and welcomed.
One thing of note is there are often professionals like social service workers at Food Banks who can hook you up and make referrals to community resources that can help out...it's people helping people.
Sometimes we are the helpers sometimes we are the ones in need. We are all equal and will all need to reach out at some point in our lives.
Congratulations are pushing forward and facing this challenge head on, you are clearly a very resilient person.
As far as eating when I am stressed I have turned to tea and water when I get cravings to eat everything. I find warm tea makes me not crave anything anymore and is also soothing and stress relieving.
Also ditto to what chickybird said about us all trying to find resources for you, I would certainly be happy to try and find some for you.
Take care
Ditto to the posters above! Hard times are happening everywhere and no one would judge you for being 300 lbs and needing to help your family. It's the girls at the food stamp office that have their nails done and their hair did- that make me angry- Since my son was born I've spent plenty of time trying to work and get my life together and have it not be enough with rent and insane fuel prices.
I'm an insanely emotional eater- I want something the minute something negative pops up, I've learned to add a little workout, do some stretching and grab a glass of water- It s the only thing I know that I can do that I wont feel a lil guilty for later. If that doesn't work- which sometimes it hasn't girl have the brownie- have the bite of food. No one is perfect and stressing yourself out about one more thing in your life right now isn't good for your mind or body Give yourself a break!
Wow, I was not expecting such wonderful responses, I thought, well...I am joining this community so that it can help me, perhaps I should just share the truth. Thank you everyone!
I have looked into welfare, wic, food stamps and state insurance. The real kicker is that the small amount my husband is making apparently is to much money! I am completely shocked that we do not qualify for any type of help. I wonder if inflation has risen to fast for the state to adjust, or if they have any intention to adjust there criteria.
I broke down to my Mom last night on the phone and she offered up her sears credit card for our van tires and she said that when she visits us next month, she will stock up my house with food while she is here (she lives 2 states away). I couldn't believe it, I'm still just shocked. She is going to help out with our rent also so we don't have to cut everything off, like internet and cable (although I don't mind losing those things for a while).
I feel so terrible for my husband, he has always been a great provider and believe it or not, this is the first time we have had that has been like this. He just can't catch a break lately and I see the stress on him too. I think he feels guilty becuase he switched jobs right before school got out, knowing that for about 6 months, he would be at the low rate of pay and then it would increase and he thought...hey, I can work a part time job over the summer until my work resumes. It was going to be tight no matter what, but this job is the entry level to his dream job, how can someone pass that up...esp. when you think, if I am willing to work hard to get what I want, then it's okay! I think he is shocked that he lost his part time job.
I think I will and my family will be okay, it's just another month before school starts again and with my moms help, the bills can't get to far behind right? I'm just so stressed, I spilled the juice in the fridge and just wept over it for 10 minutes this morning! But I look outside and my kids are playing with the neighbor kids, so happy, beyond happy and I think, maybe things will be okay.
thank you for your support and making me feel like it's okay that I'm going to the food bank. I'm crying thanks to feeling like you complete strangers care about me and understand. I'm going to take the advice right now and put in my mile walk CD and do some exercise!
That is awesome that your mom is going to help!! No one is immune to hard times and am glad that hope is returning. We may be complete strangers, but we DO care! We've all been there at one time or another, and there's no doubt that some of us will be there again.
It's great that your husband is going after his dream job Also very cool that you are supporting him 100%- with that kind of support- you won't be down for too long
Silvermama, I completely understand what you are going through. I am a grad student and I don't get paid during the summer. Summer's are always tough for me since it is nearly impossible to get a job just for the summer around here. Well, anyways, this past weekend I was a nervous wreck about money and getting my rent paid, keeping food on the table, keeping food in the dog dishes..., ya know the important stuff. So, I'm scanning the job ads looking for anything that will hire me for the few weeks before classes start. The only thing I could find that didn't involve intense physical labor in the florida sun (which I could not do) was plasma donation. Didn't pay much but probably enough for some yogurt and a bag of dog food.
I went to the place in town that ran the ad and I felt like I was at the DMV or something. They were really rude and made me feel very low for being there. Well, they said they had too many people for the day and I would need to come back. When I left I was seriously reconsidering the whole idea, but I decided to check out the other place in town.
I went in yesterday morning everyone was really nice to me and made me feel like donating plasma was a noble thing. The nurse who runs the place was doing my physical and we got to talking. Well, at the end she tells me that she really thinks we have clicked and she wants to ask me something (gotta admit, I was a little worried at this point). She proceedes to tell me about how she needs a nanny for the rest of the summer and would I be interested. We talked for a little while and I agreed to come and meet her husband and her kids this morning. (I still had concerns becuase ya know, don't pretty much all movies about human trafficking start out this way?) In the end I decided to go to the meeting and everything turned out great. So, now I have a job for the rest of the summer and if all goes well I can continue working for them some after school starts which will be a great supplement.
So, silvermama and anyone else having a hard time right now, the point of my long and winding story is that you shouldn't give up. Just when I thought things couldn't get worse something great dropped in my lap and that would never have happened if things hadn't gotten that bad. And on the emotional/stress eating thing. When I was worried sick about money I did want junk food to make me feel better and today when I realized there was a chance that things would take care of themselves I wanted to celebrate with junk food. Sometimes I do just have to give into the temptation and that's okay. But it usually helps to think about how happy making my goal will make me. The strenght of that emotion will be waaaaay more intense than anything I am feeling now.
Stress
Give yourself a break! 
