Quote:
Originally Posted by memorysan
Anyway, many of us let ourselves go for a long time and let ourselves get as big as we are/were and obviously weren't as worried about it as we are now. Not to be crude, it's honest...we all didn't do what it takes to lose weight for how ever long it took us to get as fat as our starting point.
What was the turning point for you? What made you decide it was time to lose weight?
I've always been the fat kid. Even as a little wee one, I was 3-4 pounds overweight; my mom made a note in my baby book about having to fight that my whole life. I was ALWAYS in the big kid (my granny always asked the sales assistant for the "husky girls' sizes"). I hated exercise. I loved eating. Dad bought us a bag of chips when we visited every weekend; we ate a lot of junk food at his house. Granny always had awesome desserts for Sunday dinner. Birthdays, Halloween, Christmas and Thanksgiving were days we could stuff ourselves silly. School served fries and pizza every day (I used 2 lunch tickets- one for a pizza and one for a burger/chips). I
loved eating.
I moved to New Zealand in 2002 after university (gained 20 pounds there). I was about 190 pounds and a size 18. When I got married in 2003, I was 205. Three years later, I was 235, which was my heaviest. My 18s were tight. I didn't want to get to a size 20. I started slow- 5kg the first year. Then another 5kg the next year. When I hit 95kg, I started going hard out. I realised that I wanted
and needed to lose the weight. My health is excellent, other than PCOS and sometimes low blood sugar. I was happy in my life, but not fulfilled. I got depressed about my weight; I looked forward to every meal and snack. I panicked when I didn't see Diet Coke or ice cream in the house.
I went home in May 2008 for my sister's wedding. Looking at the photos now, there is a HUGE difference (literally). I was just on 97kg. I was FAT. No denying it. In my mind, I was fat and ugly. Something desperately needed to be done. I didn't want to go home in 2 or 3 years STILL being fat. I wanted to change it. I was 29.
Fast forward to October 2008, when I started being totally serious about the weight loss. I weighed every day, tracked my calories by hand first, then online (lately, though, it's been a struggle to find the motivation).
DH and I decided to go back to the US for a visit in November 2010 roughly in September 2009. I wasn't going to be fat. I upped my game. I would be thin for the first time when I stepped off that plane. I want to be able to hug my mom and sister and hear them say how good I look.
My granny always said when it's your time, you'll know. This is my time. It's hard, it makes me want to quit, cry, scream, laugh, jump for joy and throw myself into heavy traffic (good luck with that in Tokoroa New Zealand!!). It's a challenge. I love it.
BTW: Thanks. Writing all this down has given me a renewed and positive outlook. I'm looking forward to starting my journey again and writing everything down and weighing every day.