[mokenju]

Hi, I've been a regular lurker here at 3FC for some time but never had the... urge? (interest? I really don't know the proper word...) to register and post something. But today I thought, well, I've learned (and I'm learning still) many useful and interesting things about other people experiences, and if my own experience can be useful for somebody I would be very mean to take so much without giving a little .

Since I was 9 or 10 years old I had problems with my weight. But don't get me wrong... I was a very happy child, almost too happy for my own convenience. Yes, some people were not allways kind and say horrible things to me, but I couldn't care less. I knew I was overweight and thought " Well, what's the problem? I eat what I want and this is great. I'm not obese or anything". I reached 18 years with that mentality and 15-20kg (33-44 pounds) above my healthy range of weight and then... the disaster.

I've read that many people in USA gains many weight in their first year at the university. Here in Spain is also a very common thing. It's understandable because when you're not in your home and you can eat what you want... well, you eat what you want and a little more if you can. In my case there was a difference of 25-30kg... but of weight loss. I had allways been a great student till high school and so I wasn't prepared to be a mediocre student in the university. I sleeped 5-6 hours and was so desperate to study to not fail my exams that I almost forget to eat. I lost all that weight in two months and believe it or not, nobody was worried. They told me "You look gorgeus". I reached 43kg (94.6lbs) and I'm very fortunate that my health wasn't seriously compromised. I only lost hair and feel dizzy all the day. At that moment I said " It's enough."

I left that university ( Industry Engineering) and said I was not in the mood of dying because my studies. My family and friends were a little surprised but that was all. Now I'm sure that I was killing me and not at a very low pace and nobody was there to help me. I realized that the only person that could help me in that moment was me.

I started Veterinary. I meet an amazing boyfriend ( next month is our 6th aniversary) and I started to gain weight. I was happy, studies went well so I ate, and ate and gained almost all the weight back in 1 year. People were astonished and they don't care to show me their surprise. "Wow now you're really fat". I was tempted to say " No, in fact, I weight less that my weight before starving and you never said to me that I was so fat". Since then I've "dieted" many times. I can lose weight easily but I can gain weight easily too... so if I spend some time eating and without any exercise I can gain 8 pounds in two weeks and if I starve (last time I've had a horrible time in London) I can lost that 8 pounds in these weeks and more. It is like my body doesn't feel comfortable in a stable weight and enjoys going up and down.

But this time in tired of all that crap. My constant weight changes are unhealthy and someday, when I won't be in my 20's, the pounds aren't going to leave so easily. With each time I've lost and gained weight without any control my metabolism has sufered a great damage and I don't want to test it one more time. I decided to avoid hipocaloric diets, make exercise and control my intake in order to create a small deficit of calories. I don't mind if I need one year or ten years to reach my weight goal ( or the weight where I feel comfortable enough) because I know that this time when I reach it I'll have a lean, healthy body that I will mantain for the rest of my life. And that is what we all want, isn't it? (Sorry for the poor spelling and grammar, english is not my mother tongue ).

[CookieMonster416]

In a nutshell: I have the same story as you.

Childhood- I was a skinny, cute kid
Middleschool- Ah puberty, gained 20 pounds between 5th and 6th grade
Highschool- Lost 40 pounds between sophomore and junior year, worked out every second I could and barely ate anything
College- Gained the freshman 30. By the end of college I lost about 10 of it, but have been carrying that extra 20 for quite a while.

Now- I just started my first job and moved out to the city and since I graduated college have gained 10 pounds! My clothes are no longer fitting me! Like you, I gain weight very easily. I swear I can gain a pound just by staring at something fattening. I work out every morning just to maintain. Over the week I am VERY healthy but I binge till I am sick on the weekend and that is causing a few pounds a week gain (it all adds up). I know to lose the weight I need to not go crazy just not binge, but it's not so easy...

[denice81]

welcome and thanks for sharing your story! this is a great support group and offers many ways to healthy weightloss, good luck

[mokenju]

CookieMonster 416. We share a weird metabolism, aren't we?. We have to work harder than others but in the end that will make us stronger. And think in all the people that has worst problems that a funny metabolism, like PCOS, lupus or any other chronic desease. If they can do it, we can do it!. If you have the urge to binge at the weekend maybe you're pushing yourself too much the rest of the week. Or maybe you let your guard down at the weekend changing your mentality to a "relax" mode. In any case, I know fighting against an ED is difficult, I've been there you know, but we can win. Our mind is a wonderful tool, it can save us or destroy us. We only have to learn to use it in our own benefit.

denice81. Thank you for your kind welcome and good wishes!. Yes, 3FC is a great site and I hope we all can achieve our goals and live a healthy life forever after like in the fairytales hehe .

[futuresurferchick]

Welcome Mokenju, thanks for sharing your story. I think you've made a great decision to loose the weight slowly and get down to something healthy you can maintain.

[mokenju]

Thanks for the welcome futuresurferchick . This time I know that I'm on the right path .

[Kery]

Welcome here Mokenju, may this place be of as much help as it's been for so many of us.

I know the part about not eating due to lack of time, and studying instead. I used to attend a prep school for two years, and even though I never ended up starving myself continually, during high-stress periods such as exams, it wasn't rare for me to end up "eating" a cup of tea and a yoghurt over my books while going on reading them, because stopping to prepare and eat a full meal (or going out to the campus restaurant) would be a waste of time. It pretty much, uhm, sucks, doesn't it.