Please help me convince my friend she's only hurting herself!!
I just found out that a good friend of mine is "dieting" by eating NOTHING every other day and eating as she used to every other day. Her logic is that she's cutting her calories in half this way... but goodness, it just doesn't seem like a good idea to me!!! She's got about 60 lbs to lose and she seems to want to lose it faster than is healthy and I'm REALLY worried about her. I've already told her what I think but she doesn't seem to care... is there anything I can say that will help her to reconsider what she's doing?
Yikes... I had a friend that did something like this in college... It wasn't long before she graduated to eating not EVERYDAY. You're going to have to convince her that this isn't a way of losing weight that you can live with for the rest of your life. Especially if she's still eating badly the "regular" days... she isn't learning any good habits... Best of luck... tell her to come to 3FC!!
In my experience, I've found that there is very little that you can ever say to another person to convince them of something that they are not ready to be convinced about. My advice? Continue to silently lead a healthy example and wait. A lot of us try all kinds of odd or extreme measures to lose weight before we get it right... it seems to be part of the human psyche to always look for shortcuts and quick fixes. The fact that they don't work is a lesson that we each have to learn for ourselves.
I wouldn't worry too much though, I'd be surprised if she keeps it up long enough to do any real damage, and she'll be one lesson closer to accepting the reality of weight loss.
Unfortunately, there is probably nothing you can say to her. I'm sure she already is quite aware that this is not the healthy way to go but some people want to be skinny more than they want to be healthy.
Everyone's probably right that there isn't anything you can say to convince her that this is a really stupid idea.
But - if you want to give it a go anyway - tell her that her body is going to get the protein it needs to sustain life one way or the other. If she doesn't give it healthy and nutritious food, her body will turn to the protein stored in its organs - such as the heart! - and muscles for its daily needs. Ask her if she really wants to 'lose weight' by digesting her own internal organs or whether she'd rather lose fat by doing it the healthy way.
just kidding! How come she doesn't just cut what she is eating over two days? have you asked her that? How is her energy level? and is she overcomensating when she allows herself to eat every other day? my guess is probably.
Perhaps share an alternative? That's all I can think of really. I don't see how what she is doing is that healthy really. Seems that would be too many days to go without food or adequate nutrition. Hopefully she'll see the light soon, or find something that will work that is healthier for her.
I have always heard that when you starve yourself that the next time you eat most of it goes to fat. Here is the reason:
When you are in starvation mode your body will use fat as energy.. but since it knows you are starving it.. it says well I better stock up since I get starved all the time.. so everytime you eat your body turns what it can into fat.
NOW I'm not a nutritionist, but it makes sense to me. Like I said I could be wrong. But it definately stops me from starving myself.
I have a friend who lost 90 pounds this way. And you know what? She gained it all back within 2 years and can't lose weight to save her life! I mean, nothing she does works, including fasting every other day like when she lost it. The health ramifications have been stated above, but go the vanity route if you need to. She simply can't maintain this. Period.
You know, I lost the majority of my weight fairly rapidly. When your body is ready to let it go, it let's it go. I'm a full believer in how you do it, not how fast. But this way, man, that's an ED in the making.
Unfortunately I agree that there is not much that you can do. Until your friend realises that this is a temporary and health damaging way to lose weight, she will continue.
Arm her with the information to do it properly and safely and with information to let her know the damage she is doing to her body by starving it.
Let her know that her body will feed off its own muscle for energy and yes she will lose weight that way, but will also damage her metabolism for life and only put the weight back on once she starts to eat normally.
The fact that she told you, to me does not yell eating disorder. Those with ED's are secretive and will go to all sorts of lengths to avoid the discussion about what they aren't eating. Been there, done that.
Be there for her, be her friend and tell her that you will support her but she needs to lose the weight sensibly.
Thanks ladies for all the wonderful advice! I'm hoping she'll realize how bad it sucks to starve and get over it quick. I lost 50 lbs starving myself about 3 years ago and it all came back within months so I know it definately doesn't work. Thanks again!
Daisy- I def agree that the big element of secretiveness that's found in ED's is missing here. It just concerns me because I've seen this happen with a few people- it gets so easy to just not eat. It almost becomes a contest with yourself. Val, I guess that's what I would be looking for... making sure that 1 day doesn't turn into 2, 5, 7....
valrock - that is such a hard thing to talk to someone about. The only thing I can think of that may discourage her is the fact that A. it will all come back when she goes back to eating normally and B. She won't lose the weight from the places she wants to. Her face will begin to look ghastly as well as her body eating her muscle tissue for fuel.
Perhaps buy her a good diet/losing weight book? And show her examples of what she will become when she continues doing that stuff and show her all the science and logic (if she denies that then I don't know what to say) behind it?
Please help me convince my friend she's only hurting herself!!
I just found out that a good friend of mine is "dieting" by eating NOTHING every other day and eating as she used to every other day. Her logic is that she's cutting her calories in half this way... but goodness, it just doesn't seem like a good idea to me!!! She's got about 60 lbs to lose and she seems to want to lose it faster than is healthy and I'm REALLY worried about her. I've already told her what I think but she doesn't seem to care... is there anything I can say that will help her to reconsider what she's doing? 
