I am a overweight college student in Somerset, Kentucky. In my English 101 class, I have a paper to write on anything I would like to argue about, something that just gets to my nerves. My topic would be about how overweight citizens getting treated like garbage in department stores and restaurants. I have noticed it happening with my sister in law. Men will hold a door open for her, salespeople will offer all their support, and she is treated like a queen next to plus size me. They look at me like I am a second class citizens, and offer no help or support. She is a size 8 or 9, and I am a size 24. I am proud of who I am and what I am, but I will not stand by and let these people treat me like I am nothing compared to them.
If this has happened to you, or you know a story of this happening, fill me in. I know I am not the only person this has happened to. It is time to stand up and show myself for who I am regardless of my extra curvy body.
Amen sister! I have complained about this on so many occasions that it has truly become a major gripe of mine. I am constantly aware of the sharp contrast in the treatment you receive based on weight, especially because I was thin not too long ago. People who do not, and have never had a weight problem (as a generalization) see overweight people as being lazy, or just plain defective due to a lack of willpower. Humans are a prejudice bunch by nature...throw in any sort of deviation from the norm, and there is bound to be discrimination (both overt, and covert). This is not always a purposeful act, stereotypes are a hard thing to get passed, and many times the person who seems to be rude/discriminate doesn't mean to act that way. "Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do".
Quite honestly, aside from being passed over by guys for my skinny friends, I have never felt much discrimination based on my weight. I am a size 22 and have been for years--I've been at least 250 pounds since my junior year of high school. I have lived in many places (middle-of-nowhere in Connecticut, York in Pennsylvania, Virginia Beach, and now near DC), and I've never been treated like garbage based on my appearance. Sure, my thinner friends get more attention from guys, but that's based on physical attraction (men are genetically programmed to be more attracted to women with a certain waist-to-hip ratio).
I think part of it is in the way we carry ourselves. Going places with thinner friends may make us feel less confident in ourselves by comparison, and it shows through body language and attitude and such. People are more likely to be nice to those who are confident, sociable, and outgoing, whereas a lack of confidence in ourselves may make us sort of shrink inside a bit more, ya know? Another idea I have is that some of it is in our heads. I think when we get treated badly, we automatically assume it's because we're overweight, whereas this is not always the case. I had a good friend in college who was African-American, and any time she was treated badly, she complained that it was because she was black. Honestly, I really don't think that was the case, as I was often present during these "incidents," and whoever was rude to her was also rude to other people (black, white, red, or purple!), but she chose not to see that. Sometimes people were nice to me and then short with her--again, she blamed them for being racist, when in actuality, I think it was because I was being friendly, whereas she was being rude, first! Yes, if you expect to get treated badly, then you probably will, because people can sense that lack of confidence and enthusiasm.
I am certainly not saying that this is ALWAYS the case. There absolutely are some jerks out there who assume that fat=worthless. They have no idea what we go through as a daily struggle with our weight battles, and they don't know what it's like to only have like 3 stores where you can buy (overpriced) clothes instead of being able to shop at any store in the mall. However, having been literally obese for almost my entire life (as far back as age 6) and having lived in multiple locations (both country and city), I think part of why I don't tend to get treated differently is because of how I carry myself and my projected attitude. I have no problems in restaurants--I actually have had some really great conversations with waiters/waitresses since I also work in a restaurant. I have never been ignored in retail stores (except by the lazy employees who ignore everyone--you know, the one who stands behind the register and rolls her eyes whenever anyone asks a question ). I have no problem getting hired for jobs that I am qualified for. Maybe it is different here on the East coast, though. Please do not think I am telling any of you that you have NOT been legitimately discriminated against at all--I know it does happen. I just think it's not really as often as we might think, ya know?
Shopping
). I have no problem getting hired for jobs that I am qualified for. Maybe it is different here on the East coast, though. Please do not think I am telling any of you that you have NOT been legitimately discriminated against at all--I know it does happen. I just think it's not really as often as we might think, ya know?