Ok - So here I am - the fattest I have ever been. My parents are going through a divorce (after 35 years), I just got into a very competetive nursing program that I now have to leave because DH got orders so we are moving 3000 miles away (did I mention that he is deploying to a very sandy place in less than a year now thanks to this move)- back to where my ex-husband lives, and XH now wants to terminate his parental rights because he "doesn't want to be my babysitter" for his biological child mind you!
This is the time that my WONDERFUL husband picks to tell me how sexy Nicky Hilton is - he saw her in last months Maxim mag. and could sure "see her ankles around his neck". WTF!!??!?!?!?!??!??????!?!?!??!
Like, I don't have enough stress right now!!?!?!????
My mom calls me everyday to cry complain abdout my Dad (she dosn't want the divorce) and I still have to finsih out this quarter before we move - so I have a full load of homework to top it off.
And then this whole Nicky Hilton comment! Like I don't feel fat and unattractive enough - have you all seen how skinny she is!????
Never mind that she has MILLIONS of dollars and not a serious care in the world!
I am just so angry and frustrated - I don't know what to do!
Thanks for letting me vent - any advice would help, I would even take bad advice right now.
take a breath for yourself. and maybe sometime for yourself? seems like you are being pulled in all directions at once and need a cool down time. You have a marathon coming up in a few months it looks like. Yay! The training is hard, but the pay-off of completion is well worth it - and its all yours. concentrate on the good things. men don't think about comments they make do they? and next time maybe retort with xys ankles would sure do nice around my hips and you have lost 5 pounds, so you are doing well, don't let this time let u give in to what you don't want to give into. Did your mom help you thru ure divorce before? you know paritially what she is going thru - right?
and nicky may be rich and skinny - but that doesn't = happiness. Plus, paris is her sister, and she is way cooler imagine the shawdow of the younger sister. poor thing im sure - maybe she will have a sex scandal next - I mean she already was married once to a guy like 10+ years older than her or something - lacking father figure??
All I can say is that there is something seriously wrong in the male brain...some sort of sensitivity quadrant that is either missing, or severely ******ed. I'm sure he wasn't thinking, but if you want to give him a taste of his own medicine you could always comment on the size (or lack thereof) of his "package". Good luck, and remember that you are a strong and vibrant woman...full of what I can tell is a lot of intelligence and common sense (something that is sorely missing from lil miss Hilton's genetic make-up). Keep your chin up and keep striving toward your goals (for your sake, and no one elses), and remember..."this too shall pass".
Have you told hubby how you felt about the comment? I don't think it is wise to resort to "paying him back" cuz that will just add fuel to the fire. But maybe talk to him about it. Guys don't always understand the full capacity of what they say.
Besides, take a real good look at Niccy...I'm sorry, but skinny and rich or not, she is ugly! And TOO damn skinny!
Krista~ Ok, here si the first thing... ((((((((ONE GREAT BIG HUG TO YOU)))))))))) You are stressing, and need some relax time.. Try to focus on sometihng totally different, Like your lil one?? You dont want them to think your upset. Just think how far you have made it, emtionally with everything. If your EX wants to do that, then let him, know that you are the better person and your child deserves better then that.
And this whole Nicky thing, BEEN THERE!! They dont think before they speak, and thats why they have us!! to put them back into gear! TELL him whats up! Tell him that you dont appericiate that. EVEN though I know my BF would NOT lsiten...
Im sorry hun, I know you ar ehaving a hard time, but we are all here for you to vent to cry on whatever you need. I hope your day/week/month gets better. Try going for a walk or soemthing fesh air and working out always brightens my mood a little...... ((((HUGS)))))))
I agree with most of what everyone else has said..
Have you tried asking your mom not to talk to you about the divorce? My parents are separated and whenever they start freaking out to me, or bashing the other one I remind them that I don't want to know. It is hard if you are the primary person your mom talks to about things like that, but it is your father and she is obviously stressing you out and putting you in a bad position by venting all of her hurt and frustration to you. Maybe suggest that she talk to a friend or a counselor about her feelings instead so that she could get objective opinions.
And secondly.. although your husbands comment was brainless and insensitive I have a feeling he didn't mean.."I wish you looked like Nicky Hilton.." which is what it feels like when someone says something like that. It would have been something he should have kept to himself, but I'm sure there are celebrities that you find attractive who looking nothing like your guy. You are just intelligent and sensitive enough not to point those people out to him. So, tell him it upset you but try not to take it personally. Judging by your picture, I think you are a lot prettier than her anyway.
I agree with Lizzie! I just had to mention the "package" thing because I am currently fed up with guys. May not have been the best advice, but you did say you would also accept bad advice...so there you go! Guys are terminally insensitive (well, a great majority of them anyways).
Hang in there hon, things will start working themselves out soon. Just stay strong, and try and stay positive, keep the atmosphere positive. Maybe not always pick up the phone when your mom calls, call her when your ready to listen, and most importantly your doing the best you can, so don't beat yourself up, just keep hanging in there! You'll make it through!
Thanks all! I did talk to him last night, and he apologized, but he still thinks I over-reacted. And maybe I did. The thing is that I have always had to work at my weight, and when he references a woman who has a body type that I know that I could never achieve. If he had said the same thing about Cathrine Zeta-Jones, or Faith Hill, or even Scarlette Johannson - women who have really looking bodies.
I think he is still confused and totally was in denile when we talked about how much she (and other female celebrities) actually weighs and how totally unrealistic it is for your average woman.
It's so hard because he love to go out to eat, and he will even give me a hard time if he thinks that I am not eating enough or "too much like a girl" - and I will tell you ladies, I always eat just fine. I think he just doesn't want to seem like a pig with how much he eats so if I eat more that makes him feel better.
What I finally asked him was "How would you feel if I made some sexual comment about a male celebrity - just how totally sexy his body was - who had a body type or feature that he could NEVER have?" He really didn't say anything. I hope it was a sign that he understood my point, not that he had just given up talking to me.
Anyway - he said he was sorry and I think he ment it and told me he wouldn't say stupid crap like that to me anymore.
It sounds like you got your point across, good job! I know men have some of the same issues we have though -- I don't know what your husband's body type is, but it would be like if you made a sexual comment about how hot you thought Arnold Schwarzenegger was in his bodybuilding days, knowing that there is no way in **** 90% of men can ever grow muscles like that. I think my bf sometimes wishes he could be as muscular and ripped as some of those bodybuilders, the same way I wish I could be as skinny as those celebrities. Lucky for us, he thinks super-skinny celebrities look like you would break them in half if you tried to hug them, and I think male bodybuilders look like freaks of nature and like their veins are going to pop off their bodies any second.
Anyway, hang in there! Spillthebeans already said everything I wanted to say but better than I would have.
Emotional crisis
and you have lost 5 pounds, so you are doing well, don't let this time let u give in to what you don't want to give into. Did your mom help you thru ure divorce before? you know paritially what she is going thru - right?
I know men have some of the same issues we have though -- I don't know what your husband's body type is, but it would be like if you made a sexual comment about how hot you thought Arnold Schwarzenegger was in his bodybuilding days, knowing that there is no way in **** 90% of men can ever grow muscles like that. I think my bf sometimes wishes he could be as muscular and ripped as some of those bodybuilders, the same way I wish I could be as skinny as those celebrities. Lucky for us, he thinks super-skinny celebrities look like you would break them in half if you tried to hug them, and I think male bodybuilders look like freaks of nature and like their veins are going to pop off their bodies any second. 
