My mom has recently divorced and started getting healthy and cleaning house so-to-speak. She has lost over 120 pounds and looks amazing!
My whole life she struggled with weight- gaining, losing, gaining more, etc. I've also had the same struggle. She's never been smaller than me, until now. This past week she gave me her size 14 pants because they don't fit her anymore. She's in a 12 and on her way to a size 10.
I feel embarrassed to admit I was disgusted with myself and so sad. I've been given someone's fat pants. It felt terrible and I know it wasn't her intention. She just doesn't need them anymore and they're nice work pants that she didn't go to waste. But it made me feel like an obese blob.
Has anyone else experienced this with relatives or friends?
H*ll would freeze over before I wear those pants... I'm on my way to the gym now... this will just not do.
****Edit to say that I'm very happy for her and it's not that I don't want her to lose weight.... I just didn't think I would be left behind on this weight loss rollercoaster
My boyfriends mom recently lost over a hundred pounds and she gives me all of her old clothes.. Whether I want them or not. I know it's not meant as a "I'm skinny now so have all of my fat clothes" type of thing, but it still hurts.
I just roll with it and donate to goodwill or Salvation Army for people who will actually use the clothes rather than them sit in a bag in my closet.
My mom lost a bunch of weight a few years ago and gave me all her fat clothes. I was disgusted! I've always been smaller than her. I accepted the clothes (because they fit me) but then I got pregnant so it was a non issue. She's since gained all her weight back and I feel bad for her. But I don't give her my fat clothes, I give them to the goodwill.
My MIL has always been skinny. She gained quite a bit of weight after she came to the United States. She's not big, but she's not trim any more and she's very unfit.
I have been big the entire time she has known me. She's been very vocal about her dissatisfaction about that. That's a WHOLE 'nother post in intself.
So, as I was getting trimmer and trimmer, I couldn't wait until I got to a smaller size than her. She wears a 12-14. I wear a 10-12 (and I was down to an 8-10).
We are the same height, but she has a TINY frame, so she weighs less than me now. She's 168. The lowest I got to was 165. When I actually got lower than her on the scale? Oh boy did I do a little happy dance!
But... about not wearing the clothes donated by your mom.... if you like the style and the fit is good, why not wear them? Use them for when you need it and then be happy when you can say, "Mom, I don't need these any more either". She'll be so proud of you - you'll both be proud of EACH OTHER, but refusing to wear them does seem a bit of a resentment.
My mom has lost a lot of weight over the years, and for many years she was just a size or two smaller than me. I often got her cast-off clothes.
It really helped me out in summer 2011. I hit a size 10/12 and she had those clothes lying around. Saved so much $$$!!
Now I'm usually giving her clothes and because I have various pants sized 16 down to 00, she sometimes comes to me and says something like: "Do you have those rockstar jeans in a 10?" and if I do I give them to her, LOL. Like I'm a clothing store or something. Other times she asks if I "have something nice lying around."
I did always hate being bigger than her, I'll admit. Especially those times she would give me something too big for her and it was too tight on me. I wasn't mad at HER, just myself, I guess.
But... about not wearing the clothes donated by your mom.... if you like the style and the fit is good, why not wear them? Use them for when you need it and then be happy when you can say, "Mom, I don't need these any more either". She'll be so proud of you - you'll both be proud of EACH OTHER, but refusing to wear them does seem a bit of a resentment.
This is my relationship with my mother! We trade clothes all the time because when one of us is losing the weight the other is gaining and vice versa. Sometimes we're on the same beat and we go shopping together and borrow from each other.
It breaks my heart to hear so many women have these types of issues with their mothers.
I always just thought of it as an amazing way of saving money and a motivation. My mum lost 75lbs way before I started losing weight, and when I decided to lose weight myself, she would give me a pair of her jeans every time I lost a dress size. It was just a great motivational tool for me, as well as giving me something really nice to wear as I lost weight. I generally can't afford to buy new clothes so a really nice pair of jeans made it so much easier.
aww.... well, i think it stems from a good place, but yeah... she should realize it's a kinda awkward thing to do...
I've never had this happen (mostly cuz my mom knows i hate every piece of clothing she owns... she has horrible sense of style... lol) but i've been in a situation in my early 20's, where we were both dieting very seriously and she lost a TON of weight. (in fact, i'm incredibly jealous of her ability to lose quickly without really doing much... i swear she loses just like a guy...) but anyways, for most of my life she has always been "really fat" in my mind... like around or over 250lbs... and that time she shrunk down to a size 8. she would twirl in front of the mirror looking sassy and tiny and i would just think "this is not right! i'm always the smaller one! and i'm YOUNGER!" lol.
so i understand the irrational jealousy...
i also understand that you just needed to rant, and this is definitely the place for it
My mom has always given me her clothes that she got too fat for. But she has lost a LOT of weight over the last year or so. She didn't save me any of her old fat clothes. Just as well as I don't like most of her clothes - and we're not built the same anyway. But I'm kinda surprised she didn't.
But she's horrible about it. The fact is she lost a lot of weight by taking metformin (glucophage) and eating a mostly sugar diet.
And she wants me to be fat...and always has. She can't stand it when I weigh less than her so is quite happy that she's now smaller than me. She bought me a dress for Christmas. I sent her a link to a size XL and she bought the dress in a plus size - which she would have had to look up and then pay more for.
She also sabotages my health in other ways - I'm serious nicotine addict and when she visits she leaves cigarettes lying around - even though I've specifically asked her not to.
My mom and I share clothes... we're about the same size. But lately I have gotten smaller than her so her clothes are a little large (and not very fashionable). Usually if Mom is lending me jeans though she gives me the ones that are too small for her and just the right size for me. I like it, saves me money.
But I understand where you're coming from! It can be a blow to the ego, but just have confidence in the fact that you're doing the right things and that the weight will come off. Maybe the roles will be reversed someday, as it was for me. Either way, don't lose hope yet. It's just a setback and I'm sure some great things are coming your way.
I don't have exactly the same situation but recently my mom offered me clothes that don't fit her anyway (she has gotten to big). After trying them on I realized they are exactly the same clothes she tried to give me before, when I was 130lbs and they were to big for me. Now at 170, they fit.
It was a miserable feeling for sure. Its hard to remember that they are truly not doing this to offend or hurt you. It hurts now but in a couple months you will be looking back at this and it will be nothing but a small hiccup.
And she wants me to be fat...and always has. She can't stand it when I weigh less than her so is quite happy that she's now smaller than me. She bought me a dress for Christmas. I sent her a link to a size XL and she bought the dress in a plus size - which she would have had to look up and then pay more for.
It's good and sad to know I'm not alone. Like many have said- I know she doesn't mean any harm, but it hurt. It's more disappointment in myself that I'm left in the dust, but I know I just have to keep going!
Before I got re-started on my plan, my mom lost about 20 lbs, which was great. I don't know her exact weight but she probably weighed less than me even before then, but we are built differently. I've never gotten bigger on the bottom than wearing a misses XL in pants. She even went to Target and bought some of the same pants I had.
And then she tried to give me some of her fat pants. And got offended when I said no thank you - and still didn't get it when I pointed out that I was wearing the exact same pants she had, in the exact same size, so why would pants that were too big on her fit me??
Your mom's fat pants
It felt terrible and I know it wasn't her intention. She just doesn't need them anymore and they're nice work pants that she didn't go to waste. But it made me feel like an obese blob.
Maybe the roles will be reversed someday, as it was for me. Either way, don't lose hope yet. It's just a setback and I'm sure some great things are coming your way.
