So tonight as I sit alone in my apartment avoiding cleaning it, I got to thinking about my weightloss journey. I'm slightly disappointed to admit that my weightloss happened in large part thanks to a guy-and that my struggle the past month has had a lot to do with the fact that guy is no longer around.
All summer I was miserable. I gained weight like crazy. Then in the fall I went up and down, settling at around 165 with frequent binges and cheats then being really good. Then I met this guy. And we started hanging out. Suddenly I was happy and dieting became super easy. I'd actually forget to eat! Turning down snacks was a breeze. I didn't binge at all except for alcohol. The weight came off so quickly and easily!
Fast forward to December when the boy suddenly disappeared due to winter break. And now I'm going away so boy will stay away. And suddenly I'm not so happy. And suddenly dieting isn't so easy. Turning down snacks is now hard. I'm binging again. My weight is going a little up and a little down. (150-145 depending on the binge and the day). I'm eating to fill the void.
How do I make this stop? I'm not happy with how I look...I'm not happy right now in general (I feel very lonely and no exactly zero people where I am going). But it seems like the only way I can diet with sucess is to be happy...how do you guys keep on track when you are not happy/feeling down?
Wow, I was in your position half a year ago. I also started losing weight for my crush, thinking he'd like me if I'm skinnier. I was doing great - lost 30 lbs - and then I had to move to another city. Suddenly, it was pointless to lose weight. I felt so uninspired and it seemed like I was doing all the work for nothing.
I stayed in that rut for 4 months, eating and moping... whining that I wasn't losing weight (despite the fact I was binging on junk) and just being unhappy in general.
At some point, I realized that I really want to lose weight for myself. I was unhappy about a lot of things - most of them I cannot control - but I can do something about my weight. I let that desire build up inside me.
I hope you'll hit that same wall and dedicate the journey to yourself. You say it seems you need to be happy to diet with success... but the reality is, losing weight involves a lot of hard work. It's nice to be inspired along the way, but don't give up when that "high" runs out. Push yourself because there's even greater happiness at the end of the journey.
For now, why don't you start with a mini-goal for Valentines Day and list down what changes you can make. Maybe having a target date can inspire you?
Hugs to both of you. This is such a misunderstood issue and more people have binging problems than is recognized. I ran into similar issues. I was in therapy for binge eating, doing really well, lost 30 lbs, maintained over the summer, then my therapist moved away in October. I didn't realize what an emotional toll it actually took on me until my eating had gone SERIOUSLY downhill from October - December.
First of all, at least you RECOGNIZE the problem. Now you just need to find somethings that will help you cope. When you're feeling down and you just want to eat you have to ask yourself "am I really hungry or is this just being bored/emotional." Is there someone you can call and talk to? Is there something you can do to keep your hands busy? (Paint your nails - ya can't really eat with wet nail polish!, do you knit, paint, play video games, etc.). Can you put yourself to bed (I have done this many a night). Read a book? Go for a walk, etc? Write a list of your goals down?
Jump on here when you need some encouragement and PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE realize (which you probably already do) that losing weight isn't going to magically solve any problems. It isn't going to magically make a boy like you (and truth be told, if you lose the weight and THEN he pays attention to you do you REALLY want to be with him?)... I'm sure you already know that but it's always a good reminder.
Hang in there girl, there are more of us out here.
Also, feel free to PM me anytime if you need a shoulder!
Awww, Feral, your post is so nice!! That just made me feel better, too. Moments ago I just had a little "binge" myself. I struggle with this every now and then, this overwhelming urge to eat tons of something that I find comforting.
Thanks for the suggestions, positivity, and for letting us know that other folks out there struggle with binge/emotional eating, too.
I was in the same boat as you. I mean i would lose weight to get my ex to like me, thinking that if i was skinnier he would want me more and everything would be solved.
but it wasn't my weight that was making him not want me, it was my attitude. I didn't understand at the time why he wanted a girl that was heavier than me, because I was so skinner then her, and i was prettier. I didn't understand that he liked her for her personalitly. it was hard for me because at that point i had always thought if i was skinnier then he would magically want me.
I think last summer was when i realized i can't lose weight for anyone but me I was tired of not liking what i saw in the mirror, of not enjoying going shopping because of my size. I realized i wanted to like me, and it i didn't like me then how can anyone else like me?
Its hard, I know it. I went through the same thing for years! Find support! Come here and talk to us as we all can help! Or talk to someone like a family member or friend.
Hey - I can't say I've ever experienced emotional eating due to a guy...I just don't tend to have that issue right now because I don't have guys in my life. :P But I can say I've struggled with emotional eating for about as long as I can remember.
Primarily, when I'm down. Last night was a prime example: I had weighed in and found a loss. I was super excited. But then, when I was in my dorm that night, I was completely alone. I just wanted to binge. My roommates have tons of junk food around and I was ready to eat all of it. Bummed about not having good enough friends to actually hang out with them. But, instead of eating, I journaled - something I do for my depression - which started to help and then I decided to crochet. I'd revisit my apparent hunger in 30 minutes, and if I still felt like I needed food, I'd push it off again.
For me, that works. Set yourself a guideline and revisit it. Then you have time to rethink the decision about food and maybe, if you really are hungry, you can have something healthier.
I don't know if that's any help, and you already have great advice, but it works for me! Good luck...and you're totally not alone in this.
I also tend to eat when I'm bummed out. Like Charmsey, I'm guy-less, seemingly eternally so. *sigh* It's probably good, though, because I'm only losing weight for myself. I've gotten better about it, though. I just try to remember that the food won't make me feel better and in the end it will make me feel worse.
Wow, after reading the stories I got sad :/. I actually eat under emotion also, but mine is sort of reverse.
When I'm single I stay fit and feel sexy because I enjoyed the attention I get from guys, the whole "Yea you want it but you can't have it." Then when I start dating someone I really like it all does downhill for my weight.
I start to get comfortable in the relationship and eat a ton, then I become stressed over relationship stuff and eat more. I actually weighed much less when I moved in and my weight sky rocketed to 170 in a short amount of time because of the stress. It got to a point where my self-esteem went down and we would fight over everything.
I'm trying to learn to not give in to the emotional food binges now and do alternative things when I'm upset - take a bath, do some cardio, listen to music. But I did have one yesterday and today for lunch because I was entirely upset at my boyfriend for not spending time with me on my birthday . He worked all day and came home to watch football and left me alone in the room, he just doesn't think.
In general most people are emotional eaters, if we weren't we'd be thin instead of fat! I know I'm one of those people. Junk food makes me feel better when I'm down but lately I've been trying not to force that crap down my throat. Though yesterday I enjoyed a nice coffee crisp haha but it was only one which is better then 10 and it wasn't because I was upset it was because I was hungry on my way home from the gym and it was easier to eat then a sandwich.
Emotional Eaters?
. He worked all day and came home to watch football and left me alone in the room, he just doesn't think.
but it was only one which is better then 10 and it wasn't because I was upset it was because I was hungry on my way home from the gym and it was easier to eat then a sandwich.
