So here's the deal. My sister and I are two completely opposite people. She has always been very petite and has a very small bone structure. I am tall, with broad shoulders and even if I were skin and bones I would still be wider because that's how my bone structure is set up. My sister is getting married next year and we have recently been doing the dress shopping thing. My sister has made many comments about my weight and size in general (my family has always called me Sasquatch because I just a bigger person than the rest of them). How do you deal with a person like this? I think they think since they've done it my whole life I'm not affected by it anymore but really, it's bothersome. I mean, people really do come in all different shapes and sizes, how do I make them give up the "teasing"?
tell her? don't be rude or aggressive about it, but have a real sister-y heart to heart and explain how it hurts you and how you feel.
if she continues regardless..well my character would be to bite back!
I think you just need to talk to her. Tell her that comments like this are hurting your feelings and its not like you haven't heard anything she's saying before. I mean, we are all different. I'm impressed with your patience. I don't think I would have lasted this long..
I have been there done that! Talking doesn't work unless they understand. My older sister has always been much smaller than me (height and weight wise) everyone refers to her as my big little sister... ouch right... well in my family my Mother is the "gosh you got fat" character. Anyhow in my case I would get compared to my sis by my mother... as we got older I made it clear I wasn't my sister and that I was me and my structure is different from hers so NO MATTER if I lost ALL of my excess weight my body frame would NEVER fit into a size 0-4. The comparison stopped but still to this day my mother will comment on my weight... and even if I lose 40 lbs I'm still fatter than my sister so I've done nothing in her eyes... well last week I was home using the driveway (Apartment dweller yes) to fix my car (well hubby was fixing and I was his cheerleader) my mother comes outside and before hello she says something about my weight (now my mom's got a gut now in her old age but she was thin and hot until she had me her third child) I didn't skip a beat and said sooo what you're looking about the same as me... she retorted with "so, you're still fatter" and walked away... I've been home a couple times since this little incident and she hasn't mentioned my weight YET...lol moral of the story... its family, if you can't change them join them... most likely they won't like the negative comments either and if that really doesn't work IGNORE THEM when they say one negative thing about you simply say out loud 2 positive things about yourself... they say "what" just say "exactly".
I would tell her, but be prepared for her to get defensive. If you say "It hurts my feelings," a common reaction is to say, "Hey, I was just kidding! You're so sensitive!"
If you think she's the type to go that route, and just will not change her behavior, you can always say, "I think I'll stay the way I am for now. Your wedding is your day, and if I slim down, I might outshine the bride."
I don't think anyone who is 5'7 and 165 is a Sasquatch! IF so then so am I!! I get this too, on one side of my family everyone is built tall and thin and the other side is built like Oxen. Going to family events on the "thin" side of the family is always hard. I think you should tell your family it bothers you, I agree with the ladies above. Don't ever let anyone make you feel like crap, your unique and individual, we're all different.
I have had to deal with this my entire life. Im 5'11 with a very large chest and size 12 feet(My sisters always call me "Freak of Nature")and I have always been picked on as a child and as an adult by my own family. The only thing you can really do is tell them that it bothers you and its hurtful. I also get the comments that "Im too sensitive" and that I "cant take a joke". They have finally started to realize that it hurts me. If you don't tell them them seriously how you feel about it things probably wont change.
I agree!!! You HAVE to say something, don't let these people keep on putting you down, even if they are family. In fact, especially BECAUSE they're family. They have (or should have) your best interest in mind, so they'll be receptive to the idea that you don't like being called a name that has such a negative connotation, even if it's a joke. If you have to keep reaffirming the fact that it hurts your feelings until they believe you, so be it. Just don't keep quiet and let them continue being mean. No fun, I'm sorry you're going through this
Thank you all! And I know that 5'7" doesn't seem gigantic to anyone here, but my sister is 5 feet even and my mom is barely 4'11". So to them I'm huge. Plus they're both super tiny. And my feet are huge too Size 11's here. When I was younger I would get really upset about it and stomp and scream and I think that just added fuel. I haven't said anything in a calm approach, because I do feel like she would just say "oh that's not how I meant it."
I will keep up my exercise routine and hopefully I'll be the sexy muscular sister instead of just being the chubby one!