This is my EXACT experience- in high school i was 135-140 and felt so chubby. And looking at some of my older photos I didn't look bad at all, but I am way more toned now, at 170+ than I was then! haha!
So weird, I look forward to being that weight (140ish) again and instead understand what it means to be toned and how to eat right so the kind of weight I'm carrying is muscle instead of the biproduct of poor eating.
I am SO with you! I am thrilled right now to be hovering at 165, the weight which horrified me before I got pregnant - it was my "red line" that I refused to go over. I was in the 130's (my goal weight range) for awhile as a teen and thought I was chubby. I recently saw a picture of myself then, and I looked really good!
Amazing what a little perspective can do.
forestroad & sws - Oh man, can I hear you on the mother issues! My mom is a total health/exercise nut and is 5'8 and 135lbs. She looks really thin. I'm 5'4 on a good day, and well... not thin. I know that all of her comments and actions came from a place of love, but my weight led to a major war between us, especially in my early teen years. I was about 140-150 then and was always hearing about losing 10 lbs. She would say things in public or in front of extended family about my food choices or how much I was eating which was utterly humiliating for me. Of course, this led to me sneaking food, lying to her about exercise, etc.
We're in a better place now, but the whole issue still rears it's ugly head occaisionally. Sometimes I feel uncomfortable eating around her or I feel like I have to justify my choices to her. But mostly it is good; she's learned to just shut up on negative comments, especially about my food choices. Instead, she gives me lots of positive "Go girl!" type comments when I bring up my weight loss. Much better!
yes, I recognize that, too. There are certain bench marks you never want to go above when you are gaining, and they will be the same which you will aim for when you are losing.
I completely understand what you mean. I graduated high school at 187. While I wasn't the thinnest girl around, I still wore a juniors size 7! About two years later, I had lost some weight and was down to 167 - but I was stressed and wasn't eating much, let alone healthy. Now I am so far beyond either of those previous weights that I would be so happy to have one of them back. Since I know my body will let me get down to 167, I set my goal just below that at 165.
I do have to admit that some of these stories are really funny... My mom was significantly obese (near to 500lbs) my entire life. My father was super thin (really fast metabolism), my older brother has been heavy since I can remember, and my sister had problems battling anorexia all through her high school years. I guess she was upset that my weight was a non-factor for me back then so she made it a point to call me fat almost every day. I began to think I was fat at 187 in a size 7! Looking back I realize it was her issues that caused her to be mean to me like that, nonetheless, it really affected my self perception. I feel like no matter what I weigh, I will always think I am heavy. So once I lose my weight I will have to rely on my husband for my true self image... but I'll be working on it!
So anyways..
This is both frustrating and exciting. It's frustrating because 140lbs was a weight that I used to feel fat at, and be a size 10 at, and when that's what I feel like I have to look forward to, it's hard to get motivated.
On the other hand, it's exciting because I think I'm more toned than I used to be at that weight, and at that weight my body fat percentage will be 18%, assuming I don't lose muscle. So, I'm excited that I *only* have to get down to 140 to be fit and toned and slide into some size 8s (I hope), and excited that my physique might be better and more toned than it was when I was even thinner than that.
Anyone else having this kind of experience?
Let me tell you something. I wouldn't be afraid or frustrated to get to that weight because it was probably all in your head, feeling fat at that weight.
When i was in high school, i just thought i was so fat, and oveweight and chubby and i had very poor body self-esteem. Anyways, I was around 135-140, and it said 135 on my DL from when I was 15. Anyways, 9 years later I got it renewed and had to get a new picture... the differences are amazing. I was soooo skinny back then compared to now. And even though i felt fat at that weight, I wasn't. So I think that there's a huge chance that it was just all in your mind.
I totally feel ya too. I am aiming right now for a ten pound mini goal, but that only brings me to 181. 181?!??! It feels like that's way farrrrr awaaayyyy from where I want to be. sigh. It's ok. A journey of a thousand miles starts with one single step. And then a whole bunch more steps. and a few after that, and then before you know it you're in a full out sprint, on a treadmill, dropping pounds....
