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Unrequited "Love," or Stupid Boys

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Old 05-12-2009, 08:50 PM   #1
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Unhappy Unrequited "Love," or Stupid Boys

I have this guy friend, we've been friends for almost a year now. Things between us have been getting increasingly closer over this time; we exchange racy aims and we talk or email or text or aim everyday usually quite a bit. When we see each other at grad school he always finds a way of telling me I am pretty and he always makes reasons for us to play "handsies" and we hug a lot (that sounds silly lol), also he likes to fist-bump with me like the Obamas lol. So, he knows I like him but when I first told him he was so surprised, he thought I was out of his league and "wasnt sure" how he felt about me "romantically," that was 4 months ago. Since then I have asked him if he was attracted to me and his response was "absolutely" but later that he didn't see how it was a big deal. Umm wt*?? Anyways I have learned that he lost about 50lbs a couple years ago and he is/was a bit of a geeky kid and he thinks I was like miss popular in high school and college etc. but I wasn't! Geez. So, he calls me his BFF but no more. I like him sooooo much and I don't want to lose him as a friend but I also feel (I think quiet rightly) that he is playing around with me a bit (but, I don't think he really realizes this because I honestly highly doubt he would do something to so consciously hurt me, he just is not that kind of person). Now, I know a girl in college hurt him real badly (unrequited love I think) and that he tends to like girls who are "unavailable." And I also question how "experienced" he is (even though he is almost 25). And I do *know* (as far as one can) that he definitely isn't gay.
So, I just wanted to vent. This is a sucky situation and I don't have any real good options short of: A.) putting up with it, or B.) telling him I have to cut it off because our "bff" friendship is too hurtful for me.
I'm just sooo frustrated!!! He is the only guy I have every really genuinely "liked" in my whole life (I'm 25). I just don't know what to do as my own "experience" is so very limited.

Thoughts???? Anyone have advice? Comments? Commiserations?
Lost: 140ish lbs
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Old 05-12-2009, 09:10 PM   #2
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My first thought was that he does think you're attractive but he's not into you that way and doesn't want to hurt your feelings. Buut maybe he is just inexperienced and doesn't know how to make a move? I think you should make it very obvious (again) you're into him, grab him and kiss him! If you feel comfortable of course. It will give him no excuse to doubt your signals, and also give you a chance to see if there's chemistry.
I hate it when people give mixed signals like that lol.
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes itís the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I will try again tomorrow."
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Old 05-12-2009, 09:36 PM   #3
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My first reaction is he is shy. And maybe a little insecure. There have to be some men out there who have built-up insecurities like women!

I think you won't lose his friendship. You've already told him you're into him and you guys are still friends.

Just go for it!

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Old 05-12-2009, 10:55 PM   #4
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I don't mean this in a bad way, but that book 'He's just not that into you' helped me SO much and I was in a similar situation as you are. I'm sorry you're having such a hard time with it!!

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