Wow. Well, I am sorry because I know that must sting, but it is good to know now rather than after you have been hanging on for even longer. In reality, you both had an agreement to a "friends with benefits" type of arrangement so, while he may lack tact, it isn't unreasonable for him to feel as he does. His wording sure sucks though
Please, guard your heart! You are worth so much more than just being a "booty call" or "bed buddy", if that is what you want!
I have to say that I have found (through a few silly, impulsive, lonesome-fueled choices in the past) that it really helps to wait before being intimate until both parties are clear about what they both are looking for (and if the other is close to being what they want).
Soulbliss -- I totally agree with you -- unfortunately, I learned the hard way but, with age comes wisdom -- right !! A break up is difficult but more so when you've given so much of yourself!! Lessons learned the hard way are the ones that stick with you the most!! Chalk this one up to experience and now you know how "not" to start the next one. Completely out in the open -- I like you "as a friend" or "I'm looking for a relationship" -- neither of which have to come with "fringe benefits". Good luck to you -- you are such a beautiful, intelligent, giving woman -- when it's your time to find that special someone, he will be AMAZING!!!
I'm so sorry! I guess we all wanted the happy ending. But, then again, this may be a happy ending in the long run. May not seem like it now, but it is good that you kept your dignity and walked out. Good for you!
I agree, better to know now then to find out later. I was in a similar relationship and it broke my heart and I never really recovered from it. In the end I just felt used and abused and insulted... and nobody deserves to feel that way.
brought it up to him, talked about the woman coming in to see him, etc...
and his answer was "i adore you, i think you are phenomenal woman. but lets not kid ourselves - you're not a keeper for me. she potentially is."
......
i walked out.
No waaaaay! What a putz. Kudos to you for your good communication skills, and for holding your head high and getting out. I'm sorry it turned out sad, but better to know now. I hope you're holding up OK and being a wonderful and beautiful KateRN!
Kate I think you are absolutely gorgeous. If I was a dude, you would TOTALLY be a keeper. I can't believe he would say something like that. I would have slapped the dog poop out of him LOL.
Meh - what a jerk. And how juvenille to employ the term "keeper" in such a serious situation. If he didn't think you were a "keeper", he shouldn't have introduced you to his son. That's really unfair to the little guy, because I'm sure he's confused by seeing these different women merge in and out of his father's life. He sounds lame. Be glad to be rid of him. He may have been hot, but looks aren't everything. I'd take an ugly and hopelessly devoted boyfriend over a stuck-up prick anyday, if it came down to that. :P
Kate--I am so sorry for your hurt, I just had the same conversation with a girl at work that is alot younger than me. This guy did the same thing to her, they were really close and then he very rudely let her know she was a "booty call" and there was no future. She additionally lent him money. Now it's several months later and he called her about paying back the money. She is going to see him this weekend and all her friends including me are telling her to have him mail a check. This guy is older than her and very smooth. She is a very sweet, cute girl and deserves so much better and you do too!
I know I'm chiming in on this late, but I wanted to commend you for bringing it up, even if he was a jerk in the end. So many people would just let themselves be strung along and just "not want to know," just live peacefully in denial. So I think it was very brave of you to be straightforward with him in the end, and to walk out. Screw him! You are a beautiful, strong woman and you'll find someone who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Chin up, buttercup!
I don't even know you but after seeing what that guy said to you makes me think it's too bad you coulnd't show up at his house with an article of clothing he left at your place. LOL
So, in HIS opinion, YOU aren't the keeper? It sounds to me like anyone who would treat another person the way he treated you isnt a keeper himself. What a loser? You are better off without this creep...
Keep repeating - there are WORSE things than being alone...
chin up!!!
!! A break up is difficult but more so when you've given so much of yourself!! Lessons learned the hard way are the ones that stick with you the most!! Chalk this one up to experience and now you know how "not" to start the next one. Completely out in the open -- I like you "as a friend" or "I'm looking for a relationship" -- neither of which have to come with "fringe benefits". Good luck to you -- you are such a beautiful, intelligent, giving woman -- when it's your time to find that special someone, he will be AMAZING!!!
