Wow, what a couple of great responses. I really appreciate your ( both of you) being so candid. It's funny how many things change when our bodies change. I know for myself that I dress differently, move differently, and I am so much more self concious! I am doing my best to ease my way out of feeling this way. I used to think that I would feel better once I lost weight. Now I know that I have to work on my inside as well as the outside.
Thank you for the congrats, Gina. I hope you will continue to share with me anything you get from Dr. Phil's book. I am going to dig in after my busy weekend.
Sarah, I understand what you are saying about your partner. You are so lucky to have her. I have a really great husband who met me nearly 22 years ago. At that time, I was 118 lb. I am twice the woman now.
He has always loved me, encouraged me, supported me. Nothing has changed on his end as far as how he feels about me or how he treats me. If I could get better, do better, feel better just on his love alone, I would already be there! I am very grateful to have him in my life. I really look forward to the day that I reach my goal and can be everything *I* want to be for myself, and for us as a couple. I have a really hard time feeling like/being myself at this size. Although with him my guard is always down and I can relax. I have passed on party invites etc. because of my weight and that is really hard for him. I have been making the effort to attend more functions, take better care of myself and do the things that I want to do ( like changing my hair, getting tattooed or buying nice things just for me.) When I got tattooed recently, I almost felt like crying. It made me feel even closer to being "myself". To answer your question, Gina. Yes, it hurt, but not much. I got both of my wrists tattooed. One wrist has my birth last name with a small shamrock, and the other has my married last name with a small thistle. I have tattoos around my ankles and getting those hurt more than my wrists ( there I have morning glories, a heart with my husbands name on one ankle, and shamrocks, a claddagh and a heart that says "mom" on my other ankle.) My wrists were a big deal because they are visible tattoos ( my ankle tattoos are hidden because I always wear pants.) In some ways I don't like to draw attention to myself and in some ways I do.
Do either of you ever plan what you will wear when you are closer to your goal? I just started to write down things I see that I like. I saw Drew Barrymore on a talk show and she was wearing a round neck shirt ( sweater?) with low cut jeans ( but not so low that they show crack, and she had on a brown belt and it was buckled off to the side. I saw her and thought " I would love to wear that." Currently, I dress as if I am wearing a uniform every day. I used to like clothes.
What have you done/are you doing now for yourself? I started to garden and that has been great for me. I also got the new tattoos. I am thinking about going for a pedicure ( never had one done professionally) and I will probably change my hair color again. When I reach 199, I am going to get some new clothes. That will be a victory for me!