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Fears. "Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it."

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Old 01-30-2013, 11:36 AM   #1
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Default Fears. "Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it."

I am in love with my weight loss. It's only been a month, but I feel like I can literally feel and see my body transforming. I feel great. Other people are also starting to take note.

When they hear how much I've lost in such a short period of time- or that I'm doing a low carb diet- they almost ALWAYS, seriously...always say, "Oh- I know someone who did that and they gained it all back!"

It's actually really starting to mess with me psyche. I start to doubt, "Maybe I am losing too fast? Should I slow down? How do I slow down? Will that happen to me?"

But I want this lifestyle even after I hit goal. I want to jog 5Ks with a baby stroller, do yoga in a park, and hike the manitou incline seasonally- http://www.manitouincline.com/
I hope that I'm preparing myself not to be another person who "gains it all back." -_-

So ladies...Do you have any fears that you have to combat? Or is this the fear of most everyone losing weight?

Many of our fears are tissue-paper-thin, and a single courageous step would carry us clear through them. ~Brendan Francis
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Old 01-30-2013, 11:43 AM   #2
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I do fear of gaining my weightloss back or not being able to lose the balance I have left. It's on my mind constantly.

I wake up in the morning thinking it's a dream that I am down 99.4lbs; I can't believe in the morning when I put on size 18 pants that they fit. It's like I touch around my body to believe it's true.

This time is different though. I am learning how to eat for the rest of my life. I know that exercise will always be a part of my life now. In the past looking back now, it seems like the goal was to get the weight off and then I had no plan.

I get scared too of exposing myself and my heart. When I was living large, no one cared or respected me in a weight sense. Now everyone is so vocal about it (I actually wish they said nothing). And if I gain an ounce back, are they going to laugh and say either to me or themselves or someone else, I knew she could never do it and keep it off just like she did in the past.

So in a nutshell, weightloss is one of the scariest things I have ever done in my life.
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Old 01-30-2013, 12:04 PM   #3
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I'm scared but for slightly different reasons. I'm losing weight to hopefully get pregnant again. So I know once I lose weight, I'll gain some back. I just hope to have a healthy pregnancy, not gain too much and then go back to losing weight. I'm scared that I won't be able to lose the weight again.
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Old 01-30-2013, 12:39 PM   #4
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I've never lost it "all" but I have gained back all or most of what I've lost many, many times. So yeah, it's always on my mind.

One of the things that I like about my plan is that it does actually give you guidance on how to proceed after losing the weight. Actually, the third (out of 4) phase is all about how to "consolidate" your loss over an extended period of time - 5 days for every lb you've lost. During that phase, you start to transition to a more open plan than the more aggressive weight loss plan and you add back in items that are currently prohibited. I'm planning to go even more slowly than the plan calls for in terms of adding back in things - I want to be able to judge if any specific items become triggers making me want to go completely off plan, and then I know they need to remain red light foods.

Another big piece of this plan is that during this transition phase, once you are done losing, you start to incorporate "Celebration meals" into your weekly plan. Once a week to start with, then eventually twice. This means a full meal with appetizer, dessert and an alcoholic drink if you want. That approach just feels "right" to me - I want to be able to enjoy treats like those in moderation. And knowing I can look forward to it once or twice a week makes it much easier to pass up the other ~19 meals of the week. But there are other guidelines too - I won't detail them all, but I am glad that I will have a lot of structure and it's not just "great, you've lost the weight, now good luck keeping it off!" which is how other plans sometimes seem to trickle off at the end.

Having said all this, the last time I did this plan, I stopped and gained most back. But I view that as a problem with ME, not with the plan. I gained the weight because I reverted back to my old way of eating, and did not follow the next phase of the plan. So this time, if I reach a point where I feel I cannot stay on the stricter phase I'm on now, I will move to the next phase and learn to maintain that loss, whatever it is at that point.

I am going to have to be actively engaged in either losing or maintaining my weight for the rest of my life, and I may choose to move back and forth between those two. I am good with that, as long as I am not moving back and forth between losing and gaining, the way I have been doing up until now.
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Old 01-30-2013, 12:47 PM   #5
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April, what great detail you provided! May I ask what plan you follow? Sounds like this is going to be it for you this time, I love it!
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Old 01-30-2013, 01:23 PM   #6
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My biggest fear is gaining it back which I do not want to go through, because I've gained back half of it, which I am working to lose now plus more! But besides that, I really do not have fears of losing, just a fear of being able to successfully maintain, which I am learning right now how to make this a lifestyle instead of just temporary, because it is not temporary. My health is not temporary. Those are my reminders, as well as in a couple of years when my husband and I decide to have children, I want to be a healthy mommy and healthy enough to have a good pregnancy!
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Old 01-30-2013, 01:35 PM   #7
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For some reason, something "clicked" in my brain this time. I don't see eating less/healthier or exercising as something I don't want to do, but as something I'm just gonna do...no choice. I thankfully have a husband that supports me and chases me around the house no matter what size I am, so I don't feel pressure to do it. What i AM afraid of is not being able to get pregnant when I finally get to a healthy weight. Right now in my head I think "Oh, you'll be able to get pregnant once you don't have all this weight"....well what if that doesn't happen?? I hate when things are out of my control, and thankfully my weight is something I can control.
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Old 01-30-2013, 02:48 PM   #8
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Originally Posted by elvislover324 View Post
April, what great detail you provided! May I ask what plan you follow? Sounds like this is going to be it for you this time, I love it!
Elvis, I'm using The Dukan Diet. It's low carb and low fat, and you get a list of 100 foods you can eat (and a few extra condiments). It's lean protein, produce, low/no fat dairy and oat bran and that's pretty much it. With a couple of exceptions, you aren't limited to quanity, but as is the case with most (all?) low carb plans, it tends to reduce your appetite, so you don't eat that much anyway.

As I mentioned, it's got specific phases to follow and as long as I stick to it, it's really the easist diet for me to follow that I've ever tried. I am eating food I really like, and not really missing the ones I can't have all that much.

And I think this time, I've learned what I will need to do to handle any bumps in the road and adapt it so I can make it work for me long term, rather than using those bumps as an excuse to simply quit.
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Old 01-30-2013, 03:40 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mccull83 View Post
For some reason, something "clicked" in my brain this time. I don't see eating less/healthier or exercising as something I don't want to do, but as something I'm just gonna do...no choice. I thankfully have a husband that supports me and chases me around the house no matter what size I am, so I don't feel pressure to do it. What i AM afraid of is not being able to get pregnant when I finally get to a healthy weight. Right now in my head I think "Oh, you'll be able to get pregnant once you don't have all this weight"....well what if that doesn't happen?? I hate when things are out of my control, and thankfully my weight is something I can control.
This is me as well. I'm losing weight for me, not anyone else. My hubby is happy with me now and when I was heavier. I am also terrified of getting the weight off and not being able to get pregnant. I think its a silly fear, but it's there. But that's a bridge I'll cross when I get it built LOL.

I'm also doing low carb. I had great success on Atkins many times, but hate the restrictiveness of induction. This time trying CAD. I've learned to just avoid answering the "what diet are you doing" question and say, "I'm cutting back." People hear low carb and instantly think steak and eggs 24/7 and it is not like that at all. I eat more veggies now than I ever did!

I hope to lose it fast and I plan on staying with it when I do get it off, minus 9 months of pregnancy of course. Even then, well, I'm not going crazy. I am going to eat healthy for me and the baby. If I don't lose it fast, then well, that's just how it'll go. Best to learn to eat better now than later

I have a great track record of gaining it all back. But the clicker this time is the fact I'm wanting it off for a very special reason and while I'm losing it for me, I intend to keep it off for my kids.
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Old 01-30-2013, 03:52 PM   #10
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Elvis, I'm using The Dukan Diet. It's low carb and low fat, and you get a list of 100 foods you can eat (and a few extra condiments). It's lean protein, produce, low/no fat dairy and oat bran and that's pretty much it. With a couple of exceptions, you aren't limited to quanity, but as is the case with most (all?) low carb plans, it tends to reduce your appetite, so you don't eat that much anyway.

As I mentioned, it's got specific phases to follow and as long as I stick to it, it's really the easist diet for me to follow that I've ever tried. I am eating food I really like, and not really missing the ones I can't have all that much.

And I think this time, I've learned what I will need to do to handle any bumps in the road and adapt it so I can make it work for me long term, rather than using those bumps as an excuse to simply quit.
Thanks April! I wish you much luck with it. Sounds nice and specific, which is what I need these days. I'm currently medically supervised and having a lot of success (thank God!) but I am always interested in other's successes. I am so happy you found something good for you!
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Old 01-30-2013, 03:56 PM   #11
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Right now in my head I think "Oh, you'll be able to get pregnant once you don't have all this weight"....well what if that doesn't happen?? I hate when things are out of my control, and thankfully my weight is something I can control.
I think about this all the time too. I have this whole timeline of stuff that I am going to do this year to prepare for conception. Makes me feel like I'm somewhat in control. LOL. ::shrugs::

However- even if you can't get pregnant without assistance after your weight loss- that assistance will be SO much more effective when you are at a healthier weight. I think of it that way too.
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Old 01-30-2013, 04:02 PM   #12
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God willing, I will soon be trying to get pregnant (please pray for me). My fertility specialist said it's against hospital policy to do any type of fertility treatments for women with BMIs over 40, it's not even negotiable regardless of your health. When he told me that, I was shocked. I mean, I know I should be in optimal health for pregnancy but I'd die of sadness and embarrassment if that was the only thing holding me back from getting help.

Imagine telling my husband I was too heavy to qualify for help?

I have some health issues now that may prevent pregnancy but at least it won't be my BMI owning me at this point.
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Old 01-30-2013, 05:28 PM   #13
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I fear gaining it all back. I actually had an episode the other day.

I try not to pay attention to the scale all that much anymore. I found it was halting my weight training progress. I was afraid to eat more and see an increase on the scale, which was stalling me out on my lifts. I stopped weighing, lifted more, got stronger, etc.

The other day I stepped on the scale out of curiosity. Mind, you I just posted in the feathers chat about fitting into 00s. Double freaking zero pants. Is this a dream?

Well the scale hit 120. I freaked out. Granted this was in the middle of the day, with lots of clothes on (I was cold), after a weight training day, but I still freaked. I went on an epic pants trying spree and everything fit. I figured maybe the clothes stretched out, so I washed all of the pants I could get my hands on (I have a lot...I went overboard when I got thin).

Also, days before I HAD weighed in at 112 on the dot naked in the morning...so wtf I was carrying on about I'll never know.

I decided to go to the thrift store and buy some clothes cheap to make myself feel better. I grabbed a few things: a pair of size 16 girl's pants and a pair of size 24 Forever 21 jeans. The F21 jeans looked impossibly small but they were skinny jeans and just a couple of bucks. They looked barely worn so I figured why not?

The girl's jeans were at least two sizes too large, so that made me feel better (although it kind of sucked because I did like them), and the F21 jeans fit perfectly. I thought they might be tight, but nope! Hardly can believe it considering that's the smallest size they have. So I felt better after that.

I need to get over this fear. I KNOW what I need to do in order to keep the weight off, so I just need to keep doing that. All of my weight isn't going to magically come back on one day.
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Old 01-30-2013, 08:28 PM   #14
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I'm very afraid! What I'm most afraid of is this being all I'm getting, that I've lost 10lbs and somehow it's going to just stop coming off. I don't have a plan, I'm just changing my lifestyle for the better, and working at finding healthy foods and exercise that I LOVE. So that no matter what, I will always have a healthy option to gravitate towards. I'm also afraid that if I get hit badly by depression again that all these "I'm worth taking care of" thoughts are going to go out the window. I have been depressed, though, for a substantial part of the past 2 months. I accept that's part of my life. And I've been able to reconcile that with being healthy. What I'm afraid of is a really stressful situation hitting me in the midst of a depression and the whole thing going overboard. I guess... I just have to keep doing what I can with what I have. I get that depression doesn't make me a bad person, and that is fundamental to continuing to look after myself when going through it. I guess I'm learning patience, which will be useful when I return to uni in 9 months No more quitting good things halfway through!

Another thing, I need to be below 175 for my doctor to put me back on the pill. I know I could easily get another doctor to agree with it, but I understand the health risks and wouldn't want to take the chance. I guess I've always had the idea in my head that I am completely in charge of my reproductive choices, and to hear that I was too fat for contraception was a big shock. That's a large motivating factor for me! When I get to 175 I am off to get a few packs of Microgynon and a new haircut, and will probably throw a party!!

But to be honest, my biggest fear is none of this ever happening. The uncertainty of it really unnerves me. It's so reassuring to see other people saying the same thing
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Old 01-30-2013, 09:16 PM   #15
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Thanks Elvis! and I'm definitely praying for your health and that future baby. I'm so surprised to hear about the cut off. I weighed more than I do now when I got pregnant. I ended up not needing help but I was 41 at the time and thought I might, and no one ever said my weight would be an issue. The RE I saw said it would be good to lose some weight because pregnancy would be physically easier carrying around less, but they were fine talking about the possibility of IVF if I had needed it.

Not that you shouldn't lose the weight and be fit and healthy and all of that, but so frustrating when doctors use BMI instead of assessing each woman as an individual.
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