(((hugs)))) Sorry you're not feeling well. Get plenty of rest and go easy on yourself!
It is deeply frustrating that instead of winning the fight once and for all, we have to keep fighting over and over again. But we're so much better off than we would be if we had never started. In that case, we'd certainly be bigger than we were at the very beginning and that's not true-- not even close in your case.
I dunno about you ubergirl, but to me I almost feel like I am in a nightmare. I vividly remember how it felt to weigh 175 pounds, to be in size 10 jeans, so feel NORMAL for once in my life. I remember everyone complimenting me, I remember how easy it was to move and how HAPPY I felt. And now when I look in the mirror, or when I roll myself out of bed every morning in pain, I am kind of horrified, and wonder if I am going to wake up from this nightmare and be thinner again. I hate it.
Lyn, I'm sorry you're feeling so awful. Honestly, I don't think I feel as awful as you. I'm having the opposite problem which is that I keep thinking that I'm still how I was then. I feel fitter and slimmer even though I'm not (well, I'm fitter and slimmer than I was back in 2009, but I'm fatter and more out-of-shape than I was a year ago.
I'm just in HUGE DENIAL about the whole thing. Then, I just got a whole bunch of pictures this morning and I was so depressed because I could see the evidence of my 260 lbs very clearly. Sigh.
I think the hardest thing for me is patience. I feel like it should be quicker and easier to get back there, but I realize that it's going to take just as long to lose it as I did this time around.
Oh I have had that feeling too... the denial... but this time around there was no denying, because I got rid of all my bigger clothes and have pretty much nothing to wear. And I have a mirrored double door closet in my bedroom. And... the foot pain, I am sure it was aggravated by the weight. I cannot do any of the things I could do a year ago. I had to quit some of my dog sports. I hate it.
And yeah me too on the impatience! I keep looking at the calendar thinking omg, if I am so lucky that I lose at the same rate I did last time on Medifast... I will hit 175 pounds in...mid-July. And that is just terrifying!!! 175 isn't even at goal! It really bothers me that I have to do this all over again.
Guess we will just have to be patient together, eh?
Lyn - I am so sorry to hear that you are sick. Phooey! Try to drink lots of water - cold/warm/or hot... which ever goes down the easiest.
Yes.. we have been 'around' 3fc for a long time. Just proves that it's a lifelong journey - this having sanity with food.
One thing that has helped me is the daily posting in the gratitude thread. (aside from when my computer wasn't working) If I was on plan or off plan or binging or anything - I still posted there. It was like keeping one toe in the water. I wouldn't let myself run away... which I, of course, have wanted to do a time or two. Just a thought. (I've been writing down daily gratitudes for 12 years - no matter what, I can always find something for which to be grateful.)
PS. Am glad you are posting again. (and Uber, too)
What the heck ever happened to rockinrobin... and what about warmaiden? cfmama? calluna? Gosh where did everybody go? I always wonder how they are. I hope they stop by sometime and check in.
I am just going to pop in daily to see what's going on over here and update my ticker. I am weighing daily at the moment and moving my ticker when the scale moves, just to keep me stay motivated. I only count it an "official" weigh in on Sundays though. But I am down 3 pounds so that is good.
Beverly Joy-- you are so right about posting every single day NO MATTER WHAT and keeping your toe in. During the time I was rapidly gaining, over about 5 months, I have not one single entry in my calorie/food log and I'm sure I wasn't here at all. And yes, I think the truth of the matter is that it is more like a thinner-fatter-thinner-fatter-thinner journey through a lifetime, not really a train that you get on and then get off in "Thin Land."
LynUgh. The clothes! I got rid of every single thing big thing I owned except for a few stretchy things that seem to fit at any size. And I did bust out of all of them and have to buy new stuff... what really got to me was that last winter I was in the process of regaining, and so I didn't buy any new winter clothes I just sort of went along, but then this winter I looked into my closet and realized that I couldn't make it through the winter. No jacket. No coat. No nice pants. No long-sleeved shirts. I had to buy myself a few new things or I couldn't leave the house. But somehow, I keep thinking that I don't look quite as FAT as I actually look. I guess it's because on the way down I was pretty thrilled when I got into a 20. But a 20 on the way up doesn't feel quite the same.
In any case, I'm back on track. I'm hoping to get into the low 200s by the end of May. I really think that if I stay fit, I can live with myself at that weight.
Also, I often wonder what goes on with folk too. I remember Rockin Robin seemed to disappear from one day to the next. I always hope that people are going on with their thin lives and are not regainers like me.
I hope those folks are doing well. There was a guy, too. I can't think of his name. Was it Matt?
It proves that this weight stuff never gets easy. We have to keep plugging along. But... we DO keep trying and don't give up forever. We come back to trying. It seems often when I 'try again' I switch it up a little bit. Just to make it a little fresh.
We have to keep trying again because, maybe, just maybe the next time is THE TIME it will stick for good.
Last edited by Beverlyjoy; 11-21-2012 at 06:12 PM.
Well, I'd say that ALL THREE OF US are already winners. Think of it. If the statistics are right most people can't maintain a loss of 10% of our body weight and all 3 of us have already done that! We ROCK!
(I just decided to change my ticker back so that it shows the weight I started at back in June 2009. Made me happy cuz I immediately lost a bunch of extra weight!) Refuse to change my chickie either!!!!!
If the statistics are right most people can't maintain a loss of 10% of our body weight and all 3 of us have already done that! We ROCK!
(I just decided to change my ticker back so that it shows the weight I started at back in June 2009. Made me happy cuz I immediately lost a bunch of extra weight!)
I'm never ever ever going to lose sight that I was once 360 pounds. An old friend once asked me how much weight I'd lost, and at the time it was a little over 100 pounds. She seemed very annoyed with my answer and claimed that a portion of what I'd lost "didn't count" because "it had been too long." Aw H3LL no, it ALL counts! Anyway, I guess what really annoyed me was that she completely dismissed the amount I've managed to keep off over the years.
Sorry to go off on a tangent but after reading about how awesome we are at maintaining a certain loss I just had to bring it up.
I could have written your post a few years ago. I was having plantar fascitis and had a strained ankle that kept me barely mobile. My weight was creeping up and up and I felt so trapped and depressed. I thought the only way out for me was surgery and I went so far as to meet with a surgeon. I'm not endorsing surgery one way or the other, but for me it felt like the last resort. But - the surgeon told me that in order to qualify for my insurance to pay for it, I had to have a six month documented weight loss attempt. I thought of it as a waiting period, but went ahead and made the hospital 6 month weight loss program my plan. And then my life changed and my marriage broke up and I lost a lot of weight very quickly due to stress. BUT - once I lost 30lbs, my foot stopped hurting and I could walk and once I lost 50lbs, I could really exercise and run and I had my life back. Even just 10lbs made a HUGE difference in my mobility which boosted my mood and kept the cycle going.
I think your idea of Medi-Fast for a short period of time might be enough to get your mobility back? Also - I think we were stationary bike buddies at one time?? I remember using mine when I wanted to exercise when I was at my highest and had a sore foot. I would DVR hour long tv shows and save them for my workouts. I became addicted to all kinds of tv than I ever had been but I made the rule that to watch the shows I had to be on the bike. There were days that I just sat on it and barely moved the pedals, but most of the time I got something of a workout and eventually it was something I really looked forward to. Maybe try your bike again?
I think the good that came out of that experience with my foot was that weight loss really wasn't about vanity to me - it was about getting my life back. And even now, I am terrified of being back there and while I have gained weight, I am going to nip it and get going again because I can't go back there. I know how awful it is and I have so much sympathy for you. But it is fixable. You don't have to get to goal to start feeling better - just 10lbs. You can do that. You've done it before - you can do it again!
Thanks Annie! Yes on the bike. My PT just okayed me to start biking again very slowly and gently. I haven't done it yet. My energy is a bit on the low side. But I will do it, I am determined!
Anyway, I guess what really annoyed me was that she completely dismissed the amount I've managed to keep off over the years.
