Usually with an invite that is totally a surprise, I just say thanks for thinking of me, but I already brought my lunch, and How about we plan to do this next Friday or something like that.
I totally applaud you and your control.
Keep positive and keep up the good work!!
Peggy
This. My friends know I watch what I eat now, so no hard feelings if I say no when it's spur of the moment. I like planning ahead. I have went out a couple times, but just ordered something to drink and chat with them while they eat.
I'm young so this problem presents itself more often on Friday and Saturday nights with booze. I've started trading off - one glass of wine, one soda water, repeat ... that way I have half the calories AND feel well enough in the morning to go for a run. :-)
But I agree with you, OP, I rarely accept the invitations when they are spur of the moment, if I get even a day's notice, though, I will plan accordingly so I can enjoy myself!
See there in lies the rub. I wasn't planing to have Indian for lunch. I was planing to eat my stir fry.
I'm totally not swearing off going out, or Indian - which is why I was excited to discover there might actually be good Indian out here - but I know I need to plan. I had dinner with a friend and family last night and it was quite a bit including tasty chocolate dessert. It was in the plan. Today, not so much.
The thing is, if my friends and colleagues were left to their own devices they would eat out everyday. Some of my colleagues do in fact.
I really can't be one of those people. Not now, not ever.
All of that is me too, exactly. Today was not the day - and thats not saying that next Tuesday won't be the day... And that also means that I don't know enough to plan accordingly when I do accept said impromptu invites, I just don't generally. (...especailly not without research!)
You have to do what feels right to YOU! I often go out for dinner but will eat ahead of time and just have something light while there (I'll look at the menu ahead of time). I tell myself, and others, this is just for a short time that I have to be this strict. When it's maintenance, I'll get a chance to let loose here and there but for now, I have an agenda. Sometimes, I do let loose a bit... it's all about what you need and what feels best for you at this point in time, and only you can determine that!
Coworker: "Do you want to go to Starbucks..?"
Me: No, not today.
"But you always used to go to Starbucks!"
Me: That's why I was fat.
"When you don't have Starbucks, I can't have it either." (REALLY? You cant?!)
Me: "You can still go... I can even go with you, I just don't want to order anything."
"Thats no fun."
Like, 50 and 60 year old coworkers, acting like children. Stomping their imaginary foot, lol. SIGH. I'm sorry I don't have 200 calories alloted for coffee today, thanks.
90% of the time when it's spur of the moment I will decline. HOWEVER you can plan ahead by finding out what places your co-workers frequent and finding several "safe meals" that you can always order if you suddenly decide you want to go with them.
For each restaurant the crowds I eat with frequent, I have several meals I can always order that are considered "safe" for me. Sometimes it involves asking for things to be prepared a certain way, but knowing what I'm going to order ahead of time makes things very easy. For example at Applebee's I'll order one dish, at Cheesecake factory I'll order another, etc. It's usually the same simply because I view eating out as a chance to be with friends, not a chance to eat.
I try to plan for both. I know that at least once a week someone is going to invite me to something for lunch. Part of my job is making social connections with our technical staff so it's better if I don't say no. I have two options:
Be resourceful.
I bring my own food with me when I can. I work on a university with a lot of food options and luckily, most places don't care if you bring your own food. Obviously I am not going to an awesome indian restaurant and pulling out my own lunch (but my weight watchers leader does this all the time with a big work group). But I don't always have this option. So I work around it. For example, last week I had "drinks" at a bar with one of our big convention sponsors. I can't say no. I had lunch beforehand so I wouldn't be tempted by bar munchies. And I ask for a sparkling water or a wine spritzer. If people are pushers (and some are), I just let them know I'm down with that, "Oh I wish I could have that giant cupcake but I'm not having sweets right now."
Plan.
I have a little wiggle room in my weekly schedule. If I know that at least one of lunches will be out this week, I make sure I have the caloric room for that in my schedule. I throw in an extra workout afterwards if I can. Mostly, I try not to beat myself up.
Last edited by Goddess Jessica; 04-12-2012 at 06:01 PM.
I always go if asked, even if its Indian (yuk!). There's almost always some sort of salad at most places, and if not I just have a little of the lightest thing I can find.
Today was not the day - and thats not saying that next Tuesday won't be the day... 
And that also means that I don't know enough to plan accordingly when I do accept said impromptu invites, I just don't generally. (...especailly not without research!)
