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Old 07-09-2010, 10:40 AM   #1
If you wanna Rock It . .
Coondocks's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Winnipeg, Canada
Posts: 1,246

S/C/G: 248/164*low*/145

Height: 5'4"

Default freaking myself out

In the last 6-8 weeks, I've hit quite a few milestones. Getting to ONEderland, losing 50 lbs, then 60lbs, fitting into clothes I haven't been able to wear for about 10 years and now I realize I've lost 25% of my body weight from when i started.

I'm starting to freak myself out with how much things are changing and how quickly it seems to be happening. Freaking myself out like worried about all these changes and that I'm really not changing anything because I just don't see it most days. Is it real? Is it permanent, how long till I'm back over 200 lbs . . . that kind of thing

Has anyone else felt like that? I have always wanted to be 'normal' or normal in my definition, but I'm worried that I'm a bit more afraid of that than I wanted to admit. I've never been anything but overweight, chunky, fat, plump - how ever you want to say it - I heard it all growing up.
I don't know if I really am prepared to be fit and healthy and well thin for lack of better word.

How do I change that mentally? I'm noticing I still see myself as the 248 lb person, not the one at 186. I didn't even really start to 'see' it for myself until recently, thats a lot of weight to loose and not see. Even that feels weird to me . . . saying it . . I've lost 62 lbs . . . so odd to me still.

. . . . I dont even know if it's going to make sense to anyone lol, but any thoughts, advice, experiences you all have had would be great to hear.
Live real, live hope.
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Old 07-09-2010, 10:44 AM   #2
Loving life!!
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Join Date: May 2008
Location: Ponchatoula, LA
Posts: 2,349

S/C/G: 360/159/145

Height: 5' 8"


It just takes time to get used to your new body....I still find myself turning sideways to get past people that I could just as easily walk straight by lol

"The most exciting, and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself."

My fan page on facebook! www.facebook.com/taneeisfitforlife
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Old 07-09-2010, 11:47 AM   #3
Tellin' it like it is!
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Denver Co
Posts: 1,657

S/C/G: RESTART:153.5/147/135

Height: 5'4"


i still look at myself and see the "fat" girl.....after a year, and im sure there are 5 year maintainers out there who could say the same thing!!
Not only did i lose the fat, but i did extensive body recomposition as well, and to be honest, when i look in the mirror, i see the same person-- isee the same imperfections (in my eye), the same lower tummer pooch, etc...... and maybe they are still there, maybe they arent...maybe i DO still have a pooch, but its a heck of lot smaller, and BECAUSE ITS ON A SMALLER BODY, it *appears* the same to me.... the tags on my clothing have smaller numbers, but my body is still my body...... as though the clothing and my body shrunk proportionally, ya know?

i find myself a little scared every time i reach for that teeny, tiny form fitting pair of jeans...what if they dont fit today? What if that time they looked great was a fluke?!? ANd i try em on, and evne if im having a "fat" day, they zip right up..... and then i breath again, and relax, and tell myself "the former Meghan could not have worn these" "You are NOT FAT" "Does a fat person wera size 2? Or size 4? or size 6? OR size___?"

SOmeone on here one time mentioned a prevailing theairy, and forgive me if i mess this all up (cant remember what the theory was called.....) Where your brain, in order to save important 'processing functionality' will sometimes "fill -in-the-blanks" with certain images, or experiences it has to deal with a million times a day, so it doesnt have to process the information like new, everytime. This comes into play, for instance, when looking at yourself in the mirror.... your brain KNOWS what to expect (beause tis been seeig the same you for your whole life) so it "fills in" and you experience what the brain has been used to seeing-- the OLD you...... It basically hasnt caught up to the skinney you yet! DO you like my uber scientific explanation? Someone here can jump in with better input, im sure!
Anyway, giv eyourself time, be kind to yourself, and do not always go off what the scale says! I can see a difference when i look at recent pictures, and i am shocked everytime by "that tiny girl" in the photo...... A beautiful, tiny skinny otfit is another great marker/reminder that you have changed! I pull on thise skinney jeans ALL THE TIME.....

ETA-- im sorry, didnt mean to jump in on your guys thread!! Just started reading without really looking...hope i havent upset anyone

"All the Secrets of your foundation shall come to light.... and when you lie, uprooted and broken in the sun, then shall your lies also be separated from your truths" Nietzche

"I do not workout. I TRAIN.
I do not eat. I FEED.
I do not sleep. I RECHARGE.
My greatest fear in this life is the fear of being ordinary
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Last edited by mkroyer; 07-09-2010 at 11:49 AM.
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