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Old 07-24-2009, 08:17 PM   #1
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So, we are heading out to the Oregon coast for a few days and I'm having a crazy amount of inner turmoil. Regarding bathing suits. I cannot get over myself. There is no way that someone my size can really look good in a bathing suit. I have disproportionate legs and arms for my weight and carry percentage-wise the most fat there. I actually have some nice waistline definition this year and less in the way of back fat rolls! But, I want to conveniently *forget* my bathing suit. I know I'll feel guilty not getting in with my 2 little girls. I need to just get over it. But not sure I can.

How does one get over this complete fear of bathing suits?? I see many women on the beaches as big or bigger than I am and I don't judge them at all as I sit fully clothed. I know I'm the one who looks ridiculous! Are any of you not self-conscious in a bathing suit?
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Old 07-24-2009, 08:23 PM   #2
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Of course I am self conscious in a bathing suit. How could I not be, I'm huge! But I wear it anyway. I get in with the kids, and after a while I forget about it. What other people think of me are their own private thoughts, and thankfully I can't read other people's minds, b/c it's none of my business. Have a good time, and take your suit.
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Old 07-24-2009, 08:43 PM   #3
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You said it best yourself:

I see many women on the beaches as big or bigger than I am and I don't judge them at all

You aren't the only one out there who isn't perfect, body wise. And YOU don't judge THEM. So perhaps THEY aren't judging YOU, either. Perhaps you are really JUDGING YOURSELF...

So, once you recognize that you may be projecting your own self-judgement onto others, it becomes easier to say "WHO CARES HOW I LOOK???" For goodness sakes, you are at the BEACH and it is normal to be in a swimsuit.

I'll bet that if you get a nice suit that emphasizes your tiny waist, and just stop the self-loathing, you will have a great time with your daughters. AND you'll be glad you did, cause your daughters don't give a flying FIG that your arms and legs are big. They just want to have the memory of having a great time this summer with their mom. And that's EXACTLY what they'll remember. Not your swimsuit size, but time with Mom. And who doesn't want THAT?

Relax and have FUN!

Kira

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Old 07-24-2009, 09:06 PM   #4
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Last fall I went on a cruise to the Caribbean. Normally I am paranoid about my huge arms not to mention other things. But I bought myself some really comfy board shorts and matched them to some pretty plus size ladies tankini tops and went on the cruise with the feeling of I don't know these people and will never see these people again....

I ended up competing in the belly smacker contest on board the ship and I won...lol. So much for hiding in my suit in my cabin. Three fourths of the ship knew my name when we got back to port the final day. The charity group we cruised with still has pics of me on their website in spread eagle form over the pool. It's a fat girls nightmare but somehow I am ok with it...lol.

So find something you like, go and have fun. Life is too short to worry about what other people think all the time !!
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Old 07-24-2009, 09:36 PM   #5
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I ended up competing in the belly smacker contest on board the ship and I won...lol.
This was priceless. I hope you didn't hurt yourself too much. At least you are out there living life to the fullest...
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Old 07-24-2009, 09:40 PM   #6
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Honestly, it never occurred to me to be self-conscious in a bathing suit. I look at it this way - it's not like they can't tell I'm fat in jeans, t shirts, and sneakers. It's not a secret, you know? I (and you, and everyone here) has the same right to enjoy summer as the non-fat. Get in that pool and have fun
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Old 07-24-2009, 09:41 PM   #7
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My advice would be to just do it...stick the suit in your suitcase, when it's time to swim put it on, put a shirt and shorts on with it if you really feel like you need to and go in the water with your daughters. I have done this with myself...just for this week, or just for this day, I'm going to do what I'm afraid or embarassed to do. Then, after the vacation, if another situation comes up and all you can remember is being uncomfortable, then you don't have to do it again. You can go back to sitting on the sidelines until you are more comfortable, but my guess is, when you get back from vacation, you are going to remember how much fun you had with your family and not what you looked like in your suit.

Have a great vacation!
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Old 07-24-2009, 09:46 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nooch View Post
Honestly, it never occurred to me to be self-conscious in a bathing suit. I look at it this way - it's not like they can't tell I'm fat in jeans, t shirts, and sneakers. It's not a secret, you know? I (and you, and everyone here) has the same right to enjoy summer as the non-fat. Get in that pool and have fun
i love it she said it all !!


im 5'6 and 221 lbs wearing a size 16 and i love wearing my bathing suit you just have to find THE ONE <---- this makes all the diffrence in the world i love my bathing suit i actually have a few ... they make great little swimdresses , swim skirts and tank tops and and even board shorts with a tank can look nice have fun girl !
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Old 07-24-2009, 09:47 PM   #9
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It was me and nine large men in the competition...lol. Everyone had a camera or a phone pointed at us and there was a guy in the pool filming as we went under. They made a video. Sent it to me and the other 1,000 folks with the group .

All I could think of watching it (the edited cleaned up version mind you) was of the National Geographic channel documentary on the elephants when they show them trying to swim across the river, the stubby legs moving back n forth. I had quite the laugh at myself.

I was very bruised, and cut the inside of my mouth when my front teeth went into the flesh (I think that was the 3rd smack... I thought I had knocked out my front teeth on impact ) but ya know it was a proud moment and I grinned big for the cameras. Like a dork I did an encore smack and summersault at the end. Can we say ham...lol. But hey I'd never had that many people chant my name before.

It was a lot of fun !!!!!!!!
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Old 07-24-2009, 10:11 PM   #10
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OK, the suit is going. It was going to anyways, but now I'm happier about it. Thanks ladies. I've felt this way for so many years. the crazy thing is I'm totally comfortable in my skin around those who love me most, why is it perfect strangers that make me uncomfortable...
Quote:
Originally Posted by kiramira View Post
your daughters don't give a flying FIG that your arms and legs are big. They just want to have the memory of having a great time this summer with their mom. And that's EXACTLY what they'll remember. Not your swimsuit size, but time with Mom. And who doesn't want THAT?
That puts it all in crystal clear perspective! "Not a flying FIG" Thanks.

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Originally Posted by thinpossible View Post
thankfully I can't read other people's minds.
love it!

Quote:
Originally Posted by jab91864 View Post

I ended up competing in the belly smacker contest on board the ship and I won...lol. So much for hiding in my suit in my cabin.
LOL! HILARIOUS!! WTG! Wow, 1000 people have it on video! Must have been a great show!!

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Originally Posted by nooch View Post
Honestly, it never occurred to me to be self-conscious in a bathing suit. I look at it this way - it's not like they can't tell I'm fat in jeans, t shirts, and sneakers. It's not a secret, you know?
GREAT ATTITIDE! Thanks for sharing. I'm not so delusional that I think I look skinny in my clothes, but it's a bare skin thing!! On top of being large, I was also raised in an ultra-conservative-long-skirts-and-braids wearing family. It doesn't help.

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Originally Posted by WildThings View Post
I have done this with myself...just for this week, or just for this day, I'm going to do what I'm afraid or embarassed to do. Then, after the vacation, if another situation comes up and all you can remember is being uncomfortable, then you don't have to do it again.
Thanks for chiming in with that. I don't doubt that I will be uncomfortable and wearing a sarong while walking. But maybe by being willing to "take the plunge" I'll find out it's not as bad as I thought it would be... I LOVED being in the water when I was smaller. I'm sure I still will have a blast.

Quote:
Originally Posted by CHUNKEY_MUNKEY View Post
you just have to find THE ONE <---- this makes all the diffrence in the world i love my bathing suit i actually have a few ...
I actually like my suit as well. I have 2 different halter tankini tops and a swim skirt. (If I cross my eyes while looking in the mirror I like what I see!)
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Old 07-24-2009, 10:27 PM   #11
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Oh it'll be great Halter tankinis are a godsend, honestly. They hold the girls in and they don't need constant adjustment!
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Old 07-25-2009, 12:23 AM   #12
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I have always hated the way I looked in a bathing suit (of course) but the fun you will have with the kids and the memories they will keep forever, is way more important. have fun! Dont worry, because most people are probably being so self conscious about the way THEY look, that they dont even look twice at you
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Old 07-25-2009, 05:56 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nooch View Post
Honestly, it never occurred to me to be self-conscious in a bathing suit. I look at it this way - it's not like they can't tell I'm fat in jeans, t shirts, and sneakers. It's not a secret, you know? I (and you, and everyone here) has the same right to enjoy summer as the non-fat. Get in that pool and have fun
Amen!
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Old 07-25-2009, 09:46 AM   #14
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oh, boy, I love swimming though I'm not that good at it. heh. I go every once in a while to the Y to do it. It can be tough for me to get in that suit and walk out of the locker room into the pool area, I feel so self conscious sometimes. You know what, no one looks, and I have a great time.

the last time I went, I saw an extremely heavy woman taking a swim class with her incredibly adorable baby. all I could think was how wonderful she didn't let any self consciousness keep her from that experience with her little girl. I guess it made me think about how I've let myself forego opportunities in my life because I've felt too embarrassed about my body.

I seriously want to be that woman who has that body confidence. It's such a gift. I loved your story, Jab
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Old 07-25-2009, 10:26 AM   #15
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OK, the suit is going. It was going to anyways, but now I'm happier about it.
Good for you! They don't stay little for very long, so enjoy it!
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