I love being at the beach so much, I dont care anymore what people think. If others want to take time out of their day to be negative jerks, that is their issue and not mine. I'd rather have fun and swim, than sit there fully clothed.
And I remember my mom never wanting to go swimming with us, and the few times she did, I remember it and have fond memories. You're kids will love you going swimming with them!
Honestly, it never occurred to me to be self-conscious in a bathing suit. I look at it this way - it's not like they can't tell I'm fat in jeans, t shirts, and sneakers. It's not a secret, you know? I (and you, and everyone here) has the same right to enjoy summer as the non-fat. Get in that pool and have fun
I agree with this! I have no problem in my little patterend swim dress. They know i"m fat in it or jeans so....
So, it's hot hear in Seattle today and guess what I'm wearing. :-) Only in the back yard, but hey, you should have seen my little girls faces when I walked outside in it!!! Thanks for the encouragement and reality check.
Hmmmm the Oregon Coast is pretty chilly(even in the summer sometimes), although Oregon is having a nice lovely heat wave right now.
Although I agree with all the other ladies that you should just enjoy yourself and be confident, if you're feeling very self-conscious and it's hampering your enjoyment, I know some lovely out of the way beaches that don't get a lot of traffic.
I wore a bathing suit for the first time in ten years this year. I was at a pretty conservative church camp where "mixed swimming" (boys and girls together) wasn't allowed, so I decided I would just go for it. I weighed about what you weigh now. I found a decent swimsuit at Wal-Mart, shaved my legs and armpits, and went for it! And you know what? No one cared. I wasn't being stared at, laughed at, or anything else. Your girls won't care. In fact, they probably won't remember that Mommy was a little jiggly in her suit, but they *will* remember if Mommy didn't even go swimming with them. And as for anyone else - who cares? Seriously. Do your thing, be confident, and ignore the haterz (as my students would say).
I've been obese most of my life, and don't know that I've ever NOT felt self-conscious putting on the bathing suit and walking to the water (even when I was a little kid), but I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE (did I mention that I LOVE) the water.
Sometimes it felt like a death-march, but once in the water, I'd be fine (and I did realize that pool water is transparent, but I "felt" covered in the water - weird).
For me, a beautiful suit is priceless. I hate my current suit (a black two-piece skirt and blousy tank). I think it probably looks better on me than my last suit did (a long-skirted navy and turquoise swimdress with tiny yellow fish all over it), but the suit is so boring and frumpy, that I feel boring and frumpy in it.
When I was still working, we belonged to a fancy health-club (because of a big corporate discount). There were several muslim, mennonite and orthodox/conservative jewish families, and the women would often wear very pretty, but modest suits. I went online looking for something similar, because they were so pretty, yet covered so much (to the elbow and to the knee- or longer). I found some websites, but nothing in my size.
One lady's suit looked a bit like the '80's style aerobic costumes (but not as gaudy). A solid lycra t-shirt and capri pants, covered by a print lycra tank dress. A modern version of the turn of the century bathing costumes.
I've thought of making something similar, but I think standing out so much more because of the uniqueness of the style, would be harder than revealing the extra flesh.
I do miss a suit that had an amazing stretching skit. Once it was wet, the skirt would get so heavy from absorbingt water that it would stretch/sag past my knees. Basically it began as a thigh-length swimdress and became nearly calf-length. I loved it because it covered the dreaded fat-knees uckiness.
I ended up competing in the belly smacker contest on board the ship and I won...lol. So much for hiding in my suit in my cabin. Three fourths of the ship knew my name when we got back to port the final day. The charity group we cruised with still has pics of me on their website in spread eagle form over the pool. It's a fat girls nightmare but somehow I am ok with it...lol.
So find something you like, go and have fun. Life is too short to worry about what other people think all the time !!
You know, this post is so encouraging! And it made me start thinking--how many times do we set these self-imposed limitations on ourselves, staying home or covered up and on the sidelines, simply because we are afraid of being judged? I know I have done it a LOT and really, it's so silly! When I see a heavy lady wearing a tank top or a swimsuit, I don't think critical, hateful thoughts about her, so why do I do it to myself? And why do I imagine that others are doing it to me? I acknowledge that there is the occasional jerk who will say something; enough of us here have posted about those experiences and they're very painful and can be embarassing. But why? Seriously? As another poster said, people of all shapes and sizes deserve to have fun and participate in summer activites and I would guess that the VAST majority of observers don't think a thing about it.
So I think I will make that my challenge this week. I will do something that stretches my boundaries, something that that makes me uncomfortable for fear of being judged. Maybe I'll go try on swimsuits. I haven't owned one for a decade.
I have a funny old shape too...tiny on top to the point of boyishness!? its so not a good look and the more i lose the littler they go...but the bum still doesnt want go anywhere id say im a size 8-10 uk on top and 12-14 on the bottom..not huge but vastly different looking!
its hard..but ive got a style that suits the difference until the difference (if i can file down my hip bones!) starts evening up...i wear tie at the sides pants and a halterneck padded top..its the only way that i will venture out and then im wrapped up with a thing round my middle...
i go to the bar get a few down me and the i couldnt care less...but its hard..i know this...ive had holidays where ive only worn linen trousers to cover my larger lower half...it was a very uncomfortable holiday..
